


Switched Bakuras

by NintendoGal55



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Abridged Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon, Boners, Boys Kissing, Canon Universe, Comedy, Cuddling, Friends With Benefits, Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Male Slash, Partnership, Pre-Relationship, Silly, Soul Room(s) (Yu-Gi-Oh), Thiefshipping, Universe switching, YGOTAS, Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 42,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26446501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NintendoGal55/pseuds/NintendoGal55
Summary: An unknown occurrence has caused the Yami Bakuras from the canon universe and the abridged universe to switch places. With no telling how or why they switched, it's a lot of adjusting for both of them. Both Mariks aren't exactly helping matters in more ways than one, but what choice do they have? Can they ever get back to their rightful universes?
Relationships: Yami Bakura/Marik Ishtar
Comments: 16
Kudos: 38





	1. Canon Bakura (Abridged Universe)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, this is yet another crazy idea that got away from me! I read one fanfic about both Abridged and Canon Marik switching universes. I found it pretty silly and wanted to play with the concept. This time though, with both Bakuras switching places!
> 
> It takes place before the first duel of the Battle City semi-finals like in that other fic, which I think is a good place to do it in! It was pretty fun to do overall. 
> 
> And yes, our canon is the dub, I know I know, leave me alone. It's the version of Yu-Gi-Oh I grew up with and am fond of! I will probably take liberties in certain areas for both canon and the abridged universe, but hopefully you'll enjoy both ends.
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

Something felt off, but it was probably nothing. Probably just the anticipation of what was to come and having to ensure that his Ryou impression would be spot-on. His timing would be perfect, since Marik had gone into the stadium just a few minutes before. All he had to do was act natural.

When he came in, Marik was standing close by Yugi and his friends, seeming to have put on his Namu persona and was chatting with them. That girl Mai Valentine was there too, while Seto Kaiba stood off to one side with his little brother next to him, and two men in suits.

Bakura kept his head low, walking slowly, and prepping himself for when he would inevitably be spotted. He had nothing to worry about. So far so good, he just had to keep it along.

“Hey, it's the other sexually ambiguous character!” Téa suddenly announced upon seeing him enter.

Admittedly, Bakura was caught off guard by such a statement. Let alone from Téa. What was that about? He shrugged it off, figuring they'd decided to goof around like the fools they were. Even if describing him as a sexually ambiguous character was weird and confusing. But he didn't dwell on that, he didn't have time to.

Yugi spoke up next, “Bakura, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the hospital!”

“I'm fine.” Bakura as Ryou assured. He threw in a soft chuckle for good measure. “After all, I'm here, aren't I? I've managed to win six locator cards and enter the finals! See?” He smiled and held up the six locator cards as proof.

“Over the top anime reaction!” Yugi and his friends all exclaimed in perfect unison as they stared at him in absolute shock at his explanation.

What was that supposed to mean? Bakura had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep him from asking what was up with them, managing to maintain his Ryou smile. This was definitely weird. Yugi and his friends never managed to catch him off guard before, but this was something else. Why were they acting so, odd?

“I can't believe we're expected to believe all this!” Téa exclaimed.

Bakura tensed slightly, but repressed the urge to move. Did they honestly just figure him out? How did that happen? His impression was perfect! Sure, his explanation surely warranted a shocked reaction, but what was up with this?

“Um...” Bakura as Ryou tried to say to fill in the silence.

“And yet apparently we do! God, we're stupid!” Yugi proclaimed with a frown.

' _No argument there.'_ Bakura thought snidely and had to repress the urge to laugh, let alone respond.

It was still unsettling, though. Why were they openly admitting that they didn't believe his story and yet were perfectly gullible? It made no sense. Something had to be going on. Did they know something he didn't? Did they somehow catch on that this wasn't their friend Ryou talking to them? Bakura tensed slightly, trying not to appear nervous, but this was getting really weird. In a very unsettling way.

Marik was standing several feet away, watching the proceedings, and was clearly trying not to laugh. If Bakura didn't have Yugi and his friends watching him, he would've glared. Why was he laughing? This was ridiculous. What if Yugi or his friends turned around and saw him?

Yugi went on, still sounding annoyed. “This must be what it feels like to be Tristan!”

“Zach and Cody are my imaginary friends!” Tristan chirped.

What the hell? His voice was drastically different and didn't sound like anything Tristan would say at all. Bakura frowned slightly, but no one called him out on it.

What was their game? Why were they acting so strange? He didn't get nervous very often, but this was definitely one of those rare moments. Were they waiting for him to just openly declare that they were all idiots and that he was indeed the Spirit of the Millenium Ring in control? That had to be it, right? Why else were they acting like a bunch of loons?

Before he could say anything, Bakura turned around and came across a tall man slowly walking into the stadium. He had a purple cloak with a hood up that was opened at the front, had piercing glowing gold eyes, a facial tattoo, and a very hardened expression. It was Marik's brother, Odion, whom he'd met earlier when they arrived close to the stadium.

Glad that the spotlight was stolen off him for the time being, Bakura relaxed slightly and cast a glance toward Marik. The boy was fixated on his brother, not even paying attention to him. Bakura frowned and looked back at Odion, unsure if this would be convincing to Yugi and his friends.

“State your name.” Kaiba commanded to the newcomer.

“I am Marik Ishtar.” Odion replied in a monotonous voice. “I like to take control of people's minds and dress in highly effeminate clothing. I also have an irrational hatred for gummy bears. I'm pretty much the worst boss ever.”

Bakura balked in shock. What the hell was Marik's brother playing at, stating the obvious and making such incredibly ridiculous quips? Didn't he respect Marik? Why would he say things like that about his brother, let alone when he's supposed to impersonate him?

Was he _trying_ to get the three of them caught and have targets painted on their backs? This couldn't possibly have been the method to divert the suspicion of Yugi and his friends. As much as they were foolish and naive, they weren't _that_ stupid, were they?

But given the way Tristan just acted, Bakura wasn't even sure if that was true anymore. What was even going on? Why was everybody acting so strange?

“No I'm not!” Marik suddenly protested.

Snapping his gaze to Marik, Bakura glared venomously in a way to tell him to _shut up_. What was wrong with this idiot? He was perfectly convincing during the encounter with Joey and Téa before, so why was he slipping up _this_ badly?

Thankfully, somehow, no one seemed to notice or care about Marik's outburst.

Marik caught Bakura's glare and backpedaled a little. “I mean, uh, who is this person of whom I've never heard of? He seems like a big, bald jerk!”

Nearly facepalming, Bakura glared at his partner yet again and made a slashing motion across his neck. What was he _doing_? This was insane and not like Marik at all. He was a lot more careful than this. Subtlety maybe wasn't his strong point, true, but up until now, he was perfectly convincing as his “Namu” persona. Now he was acting like a blathering fool.

Not to mention, what was wrong with his voice? He did indeed have somewhat of a nasal inflection, but it wasn't this high-pitched and loud. It sounded more like he had a cold and his nose was pinched at the same time. There was also the fact that he didn't change his tone or inflection when he was supposed to be “Namu”, like he'd done earlier. He just spoke in his regular voice. The regular voice that was a lot more whiny and annoying, mind you.

“Yes, I, Marik Ishtar, am a big jerk.” Odion replied, still in monotone.

“Cut it out, you knobhead!” Marik snapped.

“Yes, I, Marik Ishtar, am a knobhead.”

Marik yelled back, “I command you to stop agreeing with me!”

Why did nobody notice this? Yugi and his friends were all transfixed on Odion, as if they couldn't even hear Marik right now. How was that possible? Marik was in perfect earshot of them and practically blowing his cover, a step short of holding a sign above his head that read his name with an arrow pointing down at him. Bakura wasn't sure if he was relieved or horrified about this.

How did Marik become this incompetent and this obnoxious? What was with Odion trying to be way too obvious? Bakura felt like he was going crazy, but it didn't explain why everybody seemed to be acting completely unlike themselves.

Kaiba was not much better. Even though he acknowledged that “Marik” was on notice because of his actions, he seemed to blatantly disregard them due to the fact that he had an Egyptian God Card. All while ignoring the fact that Marik and his Rare Hunters had kidnapped Mokuba. When the said child suggested getting Marik arrested, Kaiba simply said that apparently card games were the law around there. What was that supposed to mean?

And what was with that apparently German security personnel screaming “Heil Kaiba!” like that? Was he a Nazi or something?

Bakura had little time to dwell on this before a giant blimp arrived and set itself into the stadium. Yugi and his friends were making weird, obvious quips that didn't sound like them at all. Although he did get a mild chuckle at the idea that the blimp was a third of Kaiba's ego. Marik meanwhile was _thankfully_ quiet. He just had to try and get some answers about why everyone was acting vastly weird.

And why Marik was being a _complete idiot_.

* * *

The Battle City Finals were apparently taking place on this blimp, for some reason, but whatever. Everyone pretty much dispersed once their numbers were given and could go to their cabins to relax before the first duel would begin.

Keeping up his Ryou facade, Bakura just simply followed along with the group as they boarded and made their way around the corridors. Téa continued to practically paw all over Marik, constantly making strange sounds or gushing about how hot he was.

This was weird, considering she was never this forward, especially with a crush, if she had any. Marik was on a strange level of liking the attention (go figure, considering his ego) but also not quite giving it back. Whatever the reason. Yugi made special mention of his midriff more than once. Tristan exclaimed, “By the Gods, that's exactly what I want to look like!” and so forth. Joey either didn't say a word or would go “Nyeh” every once and a while.

This was bizarre. Why was everybody acting so strange?

“I have nothing of any interest or thought to say!” Marik suddenly said, laughing. “I'm extremely bland and one-dimensional!”

Bakura suppressed the urge to groan and discreetly rolled his eyes. He was going to have to have a serious talk with that boy.

“It could be worse, you could be Tristan!” Yugi declared. “At least you're hot enough to get away with it, Malik!”

 _Malik_?! Bakura balked at Marik, who didn't seem to notice. What was he _thinking_?!

“Hamana hamana hamana!” Téa cried, gazing at Marik with starry eyes. “Oh, take me to bed, you Egyptian hottie!” She then looked between Marik and Bakura, seeming to think something over. “On second thought, I think you two should make out instead! You did save Bakura's life, so that's already a perfect recipe for a rescue romance! Think of all the fanfics!”

Balking, Bakura was speechless and Marik just laughed like it was the funniest thing. Was he going crazy? He had to be going crazy. It was just like that show Ryou suggested he watch with him, _The Twilight Zone_. Why else would everyone and Marik act like complete idiots, openly spell out their flaws, and make no effort to change?

Then there was the insinuation of them being, well, intimate. Bakura looked away to hide the fact he was blushing, which was thankfully something Ryou would do, and didn't say anything. He repressed those thoughts as much as he could, since there was no possible way he could ever feel that way toward someone. Much less someone he was working with. It was absurd and not a possibility.

But he would be lying if he said he didn't think of it. Deep, deep, deep within the recesses of his mind, far beyond his reach, were those urges. After all, Marik was incredibly attractive and had such captivating eyes. It had to be Ryou's teenage hormones blending in with his own soul, it just had to be. But the main appeal was their understanding of one another, of their similar goals. That had to count for something.

But Bakura couldn't let himself fall into that.

“Sorry to burst your yaoi fanfic bubble, but I'm not gay!” Marik loudly declared and laughed again. He brought an arm around Bakura's shoulder, patting him a little.

Having to stay in-character despite his mind screaming for relief, Bakura just laughed awkwardly. What could he even _say_ to all of this craziness? It was beginning to melt his brain and he hated it. This was ridiculous and beyond foolish. Maybe it was a dream. It had to be a dream, right?

Why did his sexuality, which he himself wasn't even sure of due to not having thought about it, suddenly become important to these idiots?

“Now that I think about it, wouldn't it be way hotter if it was that evil alter ego of yours, Bakura?” Téa asked with a grin.

“You mean that extremely sexy, evil British guy of whom I've never met?” Marik asked. “I get it, the fangirls love us!”

Bakura wasn't sure if he wanted to send him to the Shadow Realm or be slightly flattered at being referred to as sexy. Either way, he looked at Marik in the way Ryou would to plead him to just _stop_. It didn't seem to work.

“Yep! I think it's called Thiefshipping...” Téa said thoughtfully. “Anyway, I'm gonna go see if Yugi and his sexy alter ego are up for a threesome! Tee hee hee hee hee!” She giggled and scurried off.

Joey, who was close by, just laughed. “Sorry 'bout Téa there Malik, she's all into that fanfic stuff!”

“That's okay Steve, I like to read yaoi too!” Marik grinned. “It's not gay to read yaoi!”

' _I'm actually surrounded by idiots.'_ Bakura thought, having to repress the urge to send everyone to the Shadow Realm just to free himself from this absurdity.

And why was Marik calling Joey Steve?

* * *

Bakura, ever the sneaky thief, decided to snoop around when Kaiba and his security weren't around. It was pretty easy since everything was accessible on this blimp, strangely enough.

He found a strange machine that they would use on lottery programs, which Bakura had to assume was for deciding the contestants of the duels. It was weird, but also concerning. What if it meant he and Marik ended up dueling? That was going to spell all kinds of trouble and put a dent in their plans, he figured.

But there was little he could do about it. He had to act like complacent, unaware Ryou, after all.

Thankfully, Yugi and his friends were messing about elsewhere, and so he went to the cabin whose number assigned to Marik. Raising his fist, Bakura knocked loudly and hard after making sure no one else was around.

“You better be room service because these pillows aren't fluffy enough!” Marik complained from the other side. “How am I supposed to get my beauty sleep if my pillows aren't perfectly fluffy?”

“It's me, you fool!” Bakura growled, in no mood for this obnoxious attitude.

There was a pause, then the door opened. Marik blinked once, looking at him with confusion. Glaring venomously, Bakura pushed past him into the room and made sure the door was shut. He turned around to face the boy, folding his arms over his chest.

“What the hell do you think you're doing, Marik?!” Bakura demanded. “What are you playing at?! You almost got us caught!”

“Um...” Marik looked at him sheepishly, lifting his shoulders in a shrug. “I don't know? A children's card game...?”

“Will you cut that out?!” Bakura snarled, advancing on him. He lowered his voice. “You're acting like a complete fool and very suspicious! I don't know what in the world has come over you, but you're going to give yourself away if you don't stop! And another thing, what in the world has gotten into you?! How do you explain all of that nonsense you were spouting?! You were getting yourself exposed!”

Marik looked a bit frightened, which was absolutely unlike him, and he backed away, holding his hands up in defense. “I swear I'm not trying to get myself exposed! They all think I'm mild-mannered, perfectly normal and boring Malik Blishtar!”

“ _Malik. Blishtar_?!” Bakura yelled and clenched his fists. He didn't get physically violent very often, but boy did he want to punch this imbeciles lights out! “What the absolutely _hell_ is the matter with you, you fool?! That's asking to be caught and isn't even the slightest bit subtle! You called yourself Namu!”

“Namu?!” Marik looked offended. “What the frig kind of a stupid name is that? I had to think of something on the spot!”

Having just about had enough, Bakura grabbed him by the collar with a growl and lifted him off the floor. Marik screeched in surprise and grabbed his arm, trying to wiggle himself free.

“What the frig?! L-Let me down already, Fluffy! I command you to put me down!” He tried to sound intimidating, but it was coming out in high-pitched whines.

Ignoring the insulting, demeaning nickname, Bakura glared daggers at the boy and tightened his grip. “I can't believe I trusted you! You've failed to defeat Yugi Moto and your thinly-veiled disguise somehow only works because everyone is acting absurd! I stabbed myself in the arm for our deal and _this_ , _this_ absolute insanity is how you hold up your end?!”

He cast a quick glance to his left, seeing the Millennium Rod sitting at Marik's bedside. Sooo tempting to just _take it_...

“Bakura stop it, you're acting way more evil than usual and that's saying a lot!” Marik yelled, tears in his eyes now. “I don't even know what you're talking about!”

In that second, looking at the genuine, raw emotion in Marik's eyes combined with his tears, Bakura faltered. He wasn't sure what made him stop, but he loosened his grip and set the boy back down to the floor. There was also the way he'd stated all of that, which was weird in itself. More _evil_ than usual? Granted he wouldn't deny it, but why use such a term?

“Then kindly explain to me what's going on here.” Bakura ground out in a low voice as he took a step back. He folded his arms over his chest and stared Marik down. Or he tried to, considering that the bloke was actually slightly taller than his host's body.

“Frig Bakura, what are you talking about?!” Marik exclaimed with irritation, smoothing out his lavender crop top from its wrinkles. “Everything's going according to plan and no one knows who I really am! Well except Odion, he's out there making me look bad!”

Bakura rose an eyebrow and then sighed. “Well, I'm not exactly thrilled with the way he conducted himself either, but isn't it the point? You're an adversary to Yugi and his friends.”

“Yes, but I want to look evil, awesome, and intensely hot!” Marik pouted petulantly. “But Odion is making me look evil and not the good kind!”

Choosing to ignore that last statement for its absurdity, Bakura rolled his eyes and rubbed his temples. “Why do you even care about that? I hardly think superficial appearances are integral.”

“Um, hello?!” Marik looked as though Bakura had offended his mother. “Were you not paying attention earlier, Bakura?! Appearances are EVERYTHING when you're a sexy villain! You don't just be evil, you have to look awesome and sexy while doing it! Frigging hell, why are you acting like you have amnesia or something?! I told you all of this when we met! Or are you like Dory from that movie _Finding Nemo_ where you forget everything instantly?”

Caught off guard, _again_ , all Bakura could do was stare him, dumbfounded. He hated feeling this way, especially with his partner. This was how he'd been feeling ever since he walked into that stadium and everyone was acting completely unlike themselves. He couldn't judge Odion since the moment he met him with Marik outside the stadium, the man was quiet and only responded with “Yes, Master Marik.” and a nod of acknowledgement when introduced to Bakura.

Why was he referring to himself, or any of them, as a _villain_? It wasn't untrue, it just didn't make sense outside the context of a fictional character description.

“...What?” Was all Bakura could manage to muster.

Groaning, Marik shook his head and then grabbed at Bakura's shoulders. “Jeez Bakura, what happened to you? You're acting way more serious than before and that's saying a lot! There's that stick up your butt! Did you hit your head or something? Am I going to have to get the hospital to check your brain? You were perfectly fine a few episodes ago!”

 _Episodes_? Bakura let out a groan and pulled away from his hold. This was absurd. Sure, he could tell Marik was definitely just a teenager with the absolute luck of possessing a magical artifact, much like Yugi and Ryou, but he wasn't _this_ ridiculous when he'd met him. At that time, Marik was confident, competent, and had a thorough plan. He didn't exactly like being bossed around by the brat, but Bakura respected him nonetheless. Marik had guts and it was actually admirable. He didn't feel like one of his Rare Hunters, he felt like an _equal_. There was a reason Bakura was more than willing to work with him.

Never in his life had he had a partnership. Especially one with someone who, like him, had goals of grandeur and wanted to change whatever hand destiny had given. Even with the setbacks, Bakura had still felt confident. But that confidence was beginning to wane with the way Marik was acting. It was like everything he'd said before had gone out the window.

He had to know what was going on.

And besides, his concern was logistical, it had nothing to do with emotions.

“I'm the one acting ridiculous?” Bakura said flippantly, giving a scoff. “Where do you get off making such an accusation? I don't know what in the hell happened around here, but everyone has acted completely unlike themselves and I have yet to find out why! You especially are acting more like a petulant child and seem to have forgotten everything we've talked about! So as I said, _what_ is going on here?”

“I'm not a child! I'm sixteen! ...I think.” Marik frowned in confusion. He pouted, again like a child who'd had his candy taken away. “There's nothing going on, Bakura! Yugi is acting like a gullible goody two-shoes, the Pharaoh is still being all Pharaoh-like, Steve has his Brooklyn accent, Téa's a horny slut, Tristan is dumber than dumb with a funny voice, I'm super sexy and evil, and you're... well, I was going to say evil and British, but now you're just acting weird! And your British accent keeps randomly disappearing, what's up with that? It didn't do that before!”

Once again, Bakura was dumbfounded and his jaw even dropped slightly. The last time he felt _this_ taken aback by Marik was the moment he'd pulled off his helmet and revealed just how beautiful he was. All before he'd stood up from his motorcycle, revealing his shirt to be bearing his midriff, and being very lean but with impressive muscles. The fact he was clearly a natural blond but with dark skin. Then there were his eyes. Striking, piercing, and a lovely shade of lavender, darker than his hoodie. They were hard, but filled with gleaming excitement.

But at the time, he'd managed to repress this distraction and keep to the task at hand. This time, however, he just couldn't mask his utter shock at what he was hearing.

Everything he'd said about Yugi and his friends was completely inaccurate. Yugi, maybe, but the way the Pharaoh's host had spoken earlier was indicative enough that he was uncharacteristic. Ryou, who knew them better, would have vehemently disagreed.

And why was he still referring to Joey as Steve?!

Why didn't he just distract the boy, snatch the Millennium Rod, and then take off running when he had the chance?

Looking to the nearest wall, Bakura briefly considered going over and banging his head against it. Anything was better than _this_.

“Bakura?”

Jerking his head back to Marik, he was surprised to find that the boy was now looking at him with genuine concern. A strange sensation coursed within his stomach. No, it had to be Ryou's body reacting to something.

“Are you okay?” Marik asked, taking a step toward him.

Scoffing, Bakura looked away and folded his arms over his chest. “I'm fine. Just having to process all of this... _madness_.”

“Come on Bakura, don't be such a stick in the mud!” Marik insisted, shaking his head. “We've got time before the extremely tedious card games start, maybe we should do something!”

Although he was beginning to fear the answer, given the way Marik was acting, Bakura decided to let his curiosity take hold. “And what do you have in mind?”

Marik's face lit up and he grinned. “I'm hungry, let's go get some food!”

Bakura was already regretting his decision.

* * *

They'd gone out into the hallway, to which Marik was searching for food. Bakura made mention of the mini fridge their rooms had, but Marik wasn't listening. He was prattling on about something or another, then said there had to be a kitchen of some sort. Then Marik grabbed him, quite roughly, and ducked around a corner, eyes wide.

“Frig, that's my sister!” He whispered loudly.

“Sister?” Bakura repeated and took a look around the bend.

A woman was walking by, heading toward one of the cabins. She had her face covered save for her eyes, which were stern, blue, and intense. Along with a white dress, she also wore a white hood with a cape over her head and some gold jewellery.

But what caught Bakura's eye even more was the fact she had the _Millennium Necklace_ resting around her neck. This was confirmed the very second that the Millennium Ring's tines pointed over toward her instantly.

' _Of course! I remember, he told me that his sister has the Millennium Necklace. And if she's here, that means she knows what's going on...'_

But he couldn't dwell on it long enough before she disappeared through a doorway and was gone.

Marik relaxed and released him, breathing heavily.

“You didn't tell me _that_ part.” Bakura hissed through gritted teeth. He turned to Marik, narrowing his eyes.

“Didn't tell you what part?” Marik looked at him with confusion. “Is this about the-”

“That!” Bakura pointed down the hallway. “Your sister is in the tournament!”

“Huh? Oh, right! Yeah, she is.” Marik shrugged, like it wasn't a big deal.

Looking all around them to make sure no one was close by, Bakura let out a snarl and grabbed Marik's arm, leading down the corridor. Marik was protesting, asking inane questions, until they finally found the kitchen. Thankfully, no one else seemed to be in there.

“Marik, do you realize how much of a liability this is?!” Bakura demanded once he'd slid the door shut. “Given the way you reacted upon seeing her, she isn't in on your plan like your brother, is she?” It wasn't a question.

“Nope! She doesn't understand me!” Marik pouted.

Bakura shook his head. “Marik, she'll recognize you and be able to easily identify you to Yugi and his friends.”

“Oh it's fine!” Marik waved it off like it was nothing. “She won't even know I'm here!”

“She clearly does know you're here. I refuse to believe that she just happened to enter the tournament for fun.” Bakura ground out. “Will you stop acting like a fool?! I can't have you exposed before our bargain is fulfilled! First you change plans on me and now your sister, who wants to stop you, is in the vicinity. Since she possesses a Millennium Item, I doubt you can control her mind. So tell me, _how_ is it going to be fine?”

“It's simple!” Marik said, unabashed. He looked around and went to a series of cupboards, practically salivating. “She's going to be sitting in her room for the next few episodes! I thought you knew that, Bakura.”

Why did he keep referring to episodes? More than that, how could he know she would do such a thing? The Millennium Necklace afforded the user the ability to see the future, he highly doubted the Millennium Rod did the same thing.

“I _don't_ know that and I fail to see how _you_ would know that.” Bakura snarled. “We can't avoid her because she's a contestant, clearly, I saw that duel disk on her arm. We can't confront her because that would expose you. We also can't send her to the Shadow Realm which although would solve the problem, because it would look highly suspicious. I also imagine she would foresee it and prevent it.”

“Bakura, I just told you, she's going to be in her room for the next few episodes!” Marik replied, sounding irritated. “Now come on, there's so much food in here! I have to find the freezer anyway, I need ice cubes!”

Facepalming, Bakura just gave up. Nothing was getting through to this newly made idiot and he was just as unsure of what to do. He leaned against the nearby wall, arms crossed, and tried to think of a plan. Ignoring the madness around him, they still had to make sure to avoid being seen by Marik's sister. Odion was reportedly in his room, holed up, making everyone believe he was Marik, and so far that seemed fine. But the sister clearly knew the truth and could easily expose them.

Glancing over at the boy, Bakura was met with the sight of Marik bending over to pick something up from the floor. His dark cargo pants were nicely clad around his rear, offering a nice view of its shape. Scoffing, he looked away to avoid distraction. Luckily, Marik had stood up, seemingly oblivious to what happened, and was on his quest to find... whatever it was he was looking for.

All the while, Marik did one of two things. Singing some kind of song or prattling on about nonsense that he only half-heard.

Still with no answers as to _why_ he was acting so stupid, Bakura found himself rubbing his temples and trying to think of more important things to tune him out. But what could he do? There was no one else he could ask about everyone's behaviour and Marik was, he had to begrudgingly admit, the only person around he could be himself around right now. Even with his blatant stupidity at he moment. But at least there was no need to have his Ryou impression at the forefront.

This had to be a dream. But it felt far too real to be a dream, unfortunately.

On top of that, Bakura knew that he wasn't so out of touch that he missed all these details. That wasn't the case at all. Even when Ryou was in control of his body, Bakura _always_ kept a keen eye out to observe, learn things, and be able to take control at a perfect opportunity. He knew exactly what Yugi and his friends acted like and sounded like. This was not the case. Everybody was acting completely uncharacteristically and some even had _different voices_ , which was alarming and weird.

Tristan was one such egregious example. He remembered interacting with him back in Duelist Kingdom, when trying to take Mokuba's soulless body from him. Tristan had been bold, smart enough to see right through him, and quick to act. Even his dimwitted moment of not seeing the ledge outside the open door was able to be chalked up to being in the midst of a panicked, overwhelming situation and not having the wherewithal to look around. This was the same teen who had managed to outsmart Bakura _and_ physically knock him unconscious.

Tristan was _not_ stupid. He also didn't have a bizarre voice and spout random non-sequiturs.

' _Nothing is making sense and that's irritating. But it's not like I can easily convince everyone that they're acting strange. Especially Marik... I couldn't have overestimated him, he's proven worthy of my partnership before.'_ Bakura thought, his eyes occasionally flicking over to where Marik was happily adding some ice cubes to a glass. ' _Now we have his sister to worry about. I'll have to figure out a plan to keep her out of the way long enough for our bargain to be fulfilled. But how? I can't let her stop us. Retrieving the Millennium Necklace from her won't be easy...'_

Marik's voice suddenly interrupted his train of thought. “Hey Bakura, why was your gaydar pointing at my sister? I'm pretty sure she's not gay.”

Looking at him, Bakura glared. “My _what_?”

“Your gaydar!” Marik pointed at the Millennium Ring. “You told me that you have a gaydar installed so that you could go out and find gay people because secretly you're very lonely! Jeez Bakura, your short-term memory loss is kicking in again!”

Balking, Bakura was, yet at again, at a loss for words. Gaydar? What was that even supposed to be? What was Marik blathering on about? Everything else stated before was definitely strange and stupid, but this was a whole other level. Just when he thought nothing further could surprise him, another curveball was thrown.

“You've clearly gone mad since we last encountered somehow because I don't know what you're talking about.” Bakura spat, feeling insulted. “ _Gaydar_ , that's ridiculous. My Millennium Ring has the ability to seek out other Millennium Items, you fool! I thought you of all people would know that. As for being lonely, that's hardly any of your concern. But just to humour you, I'll remind you that I inhabit the body of my host, so I'm never lonely.”

Now Marik made a weird face. “Whoa Bakura, I'm not judging you for being gay but since when are you and your host-”

“Not like _that_ , you idiot!” Bakura yelled. He pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance, groaning. “I meant that because we inhabit the same body, we're able to communicate. Just as Yugi does with the Pharaoh inside the Millennium Puzzle. I thought yet again that you of all people would know that! But it seems I was somehow mistaken.”

“Ohhhhh, I get it now!” Marik chirped, taking the glass and sipping from it. “So then you don't think I'm gay, that's a relief!”

Rolling his eyes, Bakura looked away. “Your preferences aren't the least bit of a concern to me. All I care about is obtaining what is rightfully mine.”

“That's okay, now you can be my gay best friend! I know it's something girls tend to have, but I'll take it!” Marik went on. He brought another drink over to Bakura, to which he wordlessly accepted it. “I mean, just because I dress effeminately, flaunt my gorgeous abs, hang out with another extremely attractive man, read yaoi, and suggestively stroke a phallic symbol in every other scene doesn't automatically make me gay!”

Taking a sip from his drink, Bakura rolled his eyes yet again. Why did Marik have to be so vapid and talk about nonsense? They had far more serious matters they could be discussing and he was choosing to act like a fool. It was astounding. How did this boy manage to take on Yugi and his friends like this? Were his Rare Hunters the real brains behind the operation, somehow?

“You certainly do comment often about my appearance for a straight man.” Bakura remarked, giving him a side-eye glance.

“Hey!” Marik said indignantly, pouting. “I'm not blind Bakura, I can see when someone is sexy! Not as sexy as me, of course. Even that Duke Devlin kid has nothing on me! Granted he's a close contender, but no one can surpass the sexiness of I, Marik Sebastian Ishtar the Third!”

There was more to his name? Why hadn't he mentioned it before since he was so full of himself? Deciding to ignore that, Bakura just shrugged and took another sip of his drink. At least he got under Marik's skin, though.

“As much as I'm having _so much fun_ discussing your alleged preferences, there's work to be done.” Bakura said, voice edging with sarcasm. “We still have to ensure that your sister is out of the way for the time being.”

“Not _this_ again!” Marik whined, throwing his head back. “I already told you Bakura, she's just going to sit in her room and talk to herself for a few episodes! She can tell the future so apparently she can just sit there until she's gotta duel!”

Narrowing his eyes suspiciously, Bakura finished his drink and placed the glass aside. “How can you be so sure? And for that matter, considering how much you've changed plans on me without prior notice, why should I believe you? Your little act of playing dumb isn't going to work on me.”

“Oh look, there's some gummy bears in here!” Marik suddenly said, now checking the pantry. “I'll keep these in my room so Odion doesn't get them first! Haha! After he made me look bad, no gummy bears for him!”

Letting out an irritated snarl, Bakura went over and grabbed him by the arm. “Let's go back to the room, I can't have anyone walking in on us like this.”

Marik blinked at him, then his cheeks pinkened slightly. “Bakura, are you coming on to me? I told you, I'm not gay!”

“Why is everything perverted with all of you?!” Bakura yelled, pulling Marik away from the pantry.

“You're standing really close to me and propositioning that we go back to one of our rooms!” Marik looked away, embarrassed.

“I meant so that we could have privacy, you imbecile.”

“I said I'm not gay, Bakura!”

“Would you stop that?!”

Snarling, Bakura tightened his grip and was about to just _drag_ him back, but then a thought occurred to him. Somehow, logic and reasoning wasn't getting through to the boy. But, he figured, he could get under his skin and make him stop being so foolish. It would be a huge blow to his own pride, especially since he never used seduction tactics on anyone, but there was a first time for everything.

At least Marik was attractive and it wouldn't be a complete lie on his part. He just had to play his cards right.

“You really do bring it up a lot, Marik.” Bakura chuckled, smirking at him. He walked closer, his hand loosening on Marik's arm slightly. “What's the matter? Are you afraid I'm going to assume that you... like men?”

Marik let out a choked gasp and his blush deepened. “I don't! That's the point!”

“Really. Then why do you bring it up so much?” Bakura chuckled, stepping closer and backing him against the wall. “You've talked about how _straight_ you are quite a bit. I would've assumed you would have more confidence about it if that were the case. Why would you feel the need to defend yourself it was true?”

“Because it _is_ true!” Marik huffed, pouting. “I'm as straight as they come! Now frig off already!”

“Why? You've said numerous times that I'm attractive, that you think I'm very _sexy_.” Bakura purred, placing his free hand on the wall next to Marik's head. His smirk widened, seeing that his game was working.

“Well of course you are, and now you're actually looking at me the same way you usually do when you're not all grouchy!” Marik said, squirming under his touch. “So now I know you're not crazy!”

Now Marik's cheeks were getting pinker, despite his dark skin. Admittedly, Bakura couldn't help finding it cute. Having the boy nervous and quivering at his feet after being so, so bold and ordering him around was even better.

“What's wrong? Are you so taken in by my attractiveness that you're rendered speechless? Isn't that interesting.” Bakura chuckled, bringing his free hand to brush a strand of hair out of Marik's eyes. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

Marik grunted, his eyes darting every which way. He then huffed and looked away. “If you're trying to top me, it's not going to happen! Everyone knows I would be on top in this relationship! Also, I'm not gay!”

Bakura couldn't help laughing at this. “Why would it even matter to you?”

“It's called being hypothetical, Fluffy!” Marik pouted, his cheeks puffing up. “I know for sure that you'd be on the bottom!”

It was right about then that the door opened and in walked Tristan, Duke, and Téa. They stared at the two of them, to which Bakura knew much to his embarrassment, currently in a compromising position.

“Ooohhhh guys, we just walked in on a gay moment!” Téa exclaimed with excitement. “Don't mind us, just pretend we're not here!”

“I'd ask to cut in, but I don't think they'd want that.” Duke remarked.

Why was there music playing every time Duke spoke? And why was his voice different?

' _Why did I think this was a good idea?'_ Bakura thought. He pulled away from Marik and reverted to his Ryou persona. “It isn't what you think, we were just playing around.”

“I play around all the time!” Tristan declared proudly. “Zach and Cody love to play hide and seek, but I never know which one I end up finding!”

“Foolish fools! Little do you know that we are actually-” Marik began, but was elbowed by Bakura in the ribs. “Ow! That wasn't nice!”

“Sorry about that, I think my arm slipped!” Bakura as Ryou said with a sheepish giggle. “We were just going to partake in something to eat, actually.”

Thankfully, Marik seemed to recall his original conquest for food and went about searching for some. At least he could feed his landlord for a change and not have to worry about Ryou passing out when he regained control. Not that he ever intentionally starved the body, he just tended to have more important things to focus on.

* * *

Later, they were back in Marik's room, still with time to spare. They'd run into Yugi on the way there, who was still acting just as odd, but not to any extremes as others. Yugi didn't seem the least bit suspicious and just told them he'd see them on the dueling field. Marik tried to, yet again, blow their cover, but Bakura had cut him off before he could.

Now they were sitting together and eating some food. Marik was happily munching on a salad and a vegetable/rice mix, humming in pleasure as he ate. Bakura meanwhile was eager to dig into an actual medium steak, and stabbed it with his fork. Lifting it to his mouth, he opened his maw wide and bit into it, tearing off the piece with his teeth. Sauce and bits of meat flew everywhere as he did so, getting on his face, the table, and on Marik too. The boy looked disgusted and shook his head.

“Bakura, don't eat with your mouth open like that!” Marik nagged, taking a napkin and wiping himself with it. “It gets everywhere!”

“Or what?” Bakura challenged, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “After experiencing all of this unexplained madness, I could use a little sustenance.”

“Close your frigging mouth, you messy eater!” Marik snapped. He picked up another napkin and leaned over to wipe his face.

Letting out a grunt, Bakura pushed him back, “Don't treat me like I'm some kind of a child!”

“Someone has to, didn't your mother ever teach you how to eat?” Marik griped as he sat back down.

Glaring, he just ignored that statement and went back to eating. Messily. He tuned out Marik's complaints the whole time. This time just to spite him.

“You had better pay up after I win my next duel.” Bakura ground out. “I still don't know what's going on around here, but don't think that you can back out of our deal. I _will_ have the Millennium Items, and since there are two of them in this vicinity, I won't be leaving without them.”

“What are you talking about?” Marik looked at him oddly.

Bakura balked, stunned. He regained himself and glared. “What do you mean, what am I talking about?! Our deal, of course! So long as I help you retrieve the Egyptian God cards from Yugi and Kaiba, you'll give me the Millennium Items. However, I was snooping around earlier and I spotted an intricate lottery machine. They're going to randomly decide on who our opponents will be. For all we know, I could end up dueling against you. What then?”

“Wait, what about the prophecy?” Marik asked.

“...Prophecy?” Bakura blinked, now intrigued. “Hmm. I don't recall there being a prophecy. Why don't you enlighten me?”

“Oh frig, your short-term memory loss is really getting to you, Bakura!” Marik exclaimed, looking worried. “We talked about it a few episodes ago! 4Kids is trying to bring about the end of the world and we have to stop them!”

Silence fell between them. Marik stared at him intently, blinking a couple times, and seemed to be waiting for him to answer. Needless to say, Bakura was stunned and couldn't even formulate a coherent thought. Nothing made sense. How was this even happening and _why_? He had to be going crazy. That was the only explanation at this point.

He usually had a very strong resolve. Very little could break him outside of unfortunate defeat. But now, after all of this stupidity, absurdity, with no explanation for it, Bakura felt as though his mind shattered. Fork falling onto his plate, he leaned over and buried his face in his hands.

What was happening? _Why_ was it happening? It couldn't have been Zorc. His power was strong, but still dormant within the Millennium Ring and unable to truly affect the world at the moment. Was he dreaming?

If it was possible to feel your mind just crack in half, he suspected this was what it felt like. Every bit of his being was numb. It was a wonder he was even physically holding himself together.

“Bakura? Bakura, are you okay?” Marik asked, his tone concerned. “Jeez, I know the prophecy is evil and sounds terrifying but you don't have to be scared! We're going to take it on, remember? We're a pair of evil, sexy villains, and nothing can stop us!”

Trembling violently, Bakura lowered his hands, and then did the only thing he could think of. He barked out a laugh, which transcended into more laughter, until he couldn't stop. What else could he do? Nothing made sense and he was clearly going mad, might as well ride the crazy train.

After all, if nothing else made sense, why should he?

“Okay? I know it's a good plan but I don't think you have to do the whole evil laugh thing...” Marik remarked, staring at him oddly.

Bakura kept laughing, trembled, and stood up rapidly. He grabbed at some of his hair, twisting and pulling it, while grinning madly.

Blinking, Marik stared at him in surprise, unmoving. “Um, Bakura? Are you... feeling okay?”

“Okay? Okay?! Of course I am!” Bakura cried, letting out maniacal laughter as he threw his head back. “I'm perfectly marvellous! Nothing makes sense! Making sense? Oh, what fun is there in making sense? In fact, I must be dreaming and unable to awaken! Somehow I fell asleep! Well! Since this is a dream, anything I say and do apparently has no consequence!”

“Oh frig, you're going crazy!” Marik got up from his seat and went over to him, grabbing his shoulders. “Come on Bakura, I know your short-term memory loss sucks but you have to relax!”

This just kept making Bakura laugh harder. He would've fallen over if Marik wasn't holding him up. Whatever kind of filter or force keeping his mind intact was just gone. “I have a better idea! Why don't we go find Yugi and steal his Millennium Puzzle right now! He's probably off in his room! Never mind the Pharaoh, we can take them both on! We'll duel him together, one on two! Or we'll just take it and run! At least my dream will have a better chance of leading me to fulfill my destiny! Then I can finally rule the world with the power of all seven Millennium Items at my disposal! You can be right at my side as my loyal beta! We'll rule together!”

Shaking his head wildly, Marik then slapped him across the face. “Frigging hell Bakura, pull yourself together, man!” Marik yelled.

It stunned Bakura and cut him off from laughing or speaking further. The boy then grabbed onto his shoulders, shaking him violently.

“You're not yourself and it's weirding me out! Why is your short-term memory loss making you so crazy?!”

Panting a little, Bakura worked to regain his breathing, and his composure. Had he really just lost it? He'd never lost it before, not like this. Not in five-thousand years. All of this insanity was seriously getting to him, but how could he avoid it? Was it all a dream as he suspected? Or was something else going on that he couldn't pinpoint?

Now he'd just cracked. Right in front of Marik. But if it had to be anyone, at least it was him. If only he could just erase his own memory of what had happened, but he didn't want to risk doing that to himself.

“Bakura? Bakura, say something! Say something about how sexy I am, that should make you feel better! Maybe you should look at my midriff!” Marik offered, his voice strained. “I'm extremely gorgeous, I can snap anyone out of their mental funk! Oh wait, since you have short-term memory loss, maybe I should bonk you on the head with something! Here, let me get my duel disk-”

Shaking his head, Bakura pulled back from him. He tried to stand, but only sunk to the floor on his knees. Trembling, he leaned on his hands, breathing heavily. Marik knelt beside him, putting a hand on his hair and on his back.

“Come on, Fluffy! Say something already!” Marik cried. He held his curled fist near Bakura's face. “Quick! How many fingers am I holding up?”

Bakura didn't respond. He just stared blankly at nothing.

“That's right, zero! Wow, you're good at this game!” Marik complimented.

Staring at the floor, Bakura blinked his eyes, slowing his breathing down a bit. “I... I don't know what came over me. Everything is completely absurd and I don't even know _why_.”

“I keep telling you, your short-term memory loss is making you insane!” Marik shook him a little and tried to get him to stand up. “Not remembering things do that to people! You've seen all those movies! Remember _The Hangover_?”

Bakura stared at him blankly as he managed to get up to his feet. Marik still held him, keeping up upright. Although he'd come down from his crazy high, there was a whirlwind of emotions within him that he wasn't used to feeling. Confusion, disorientation, embarrassment. He wanted to just curl up and disappear into the Shadow Realm.

“Fluffy? Fluffy? Helloooo?” Marik waved a hand in his face. “Now you're spacing out and it's kind of weird! Wait, are you asleep or something? Asleep with your eyes open?”

How could he have just let himself go like this? Even with the strange, inexplicable change in the people around him, he should've had far better control than this. After all of this time, an anomaly was enough to make him lose his mind? Bakura trembled and squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his fists. No, he was better than that. He wasn't about to let himself crumble further. Whatever was happening, he had to accept it. He hated it, by the Gods he hated it, but there was little choice.

If it was at least still possible to accomplish his goals, he would just have to find a way to navigate through the stupidity. Somehow.

“Oh, crap in a basket! Now you're asleep!” Marik was saying, sounding a mix of annoyed and panicked. “How the frig am I supposed to wake you up and break the spell?!”

There was a pause. Bakura wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not, but focused on keeping himself calm.

“Ooh I know! If _Snow White_ , _Sleeping Beauty_ , _The Little Mermaid_ and that weird _Once Upon A Time_ TV show taught me anything, it's that a kiss can break any spell! Even ones with memory!” Marik exclaimed gleefully. “Pucker up, Bakura! Don't worry, it's not gay, it's just to break a spell!”

Before Bakura had _any_ time to process what was happening, his lips were then covered by Marik's. His eyes shot open and he froze in place, his entire body rigid. All he could do was stare at Marik's face filling his vision while feeling his lips. Oh Gods.

Marik's lips were warm, soft, and ignited the strangest of sensations within his being. Completely foreign and strange. Bakura had never kissed anyone, five-thousand years ago or in the present. He wasn't an idiot, he knew what kissing was, he was fully aware that people engaged in intimate activities. He didn't believe that babies came from some magical flying bird. It was just never something that he considered, let alone cared about.

The kiss was gentle. So gentle, it was almost like feathers touching his mouth. His knees buckled and chills ran up his spine. Many conflicting thoughts ran through his mind, unsure of how to respond to this. It was nice, admittedly. But there was something so _off_ about it. Like something was missing.

Finally, Marik pulled away, looking a bit dazed himself. He looked over Bakura, then grinned widely. “Oh wow, it actually worked! Holy frig, I should've thought of this earlier! It felt weird but it worked!”

Still at a loss for words, Bakura just stared at him, his cheeks heated, and still rooted to the spot he was standing on.

“Okay Fluffy, you need to go lie down! Then you'll feel so much better! Come to think of it, I should've laid you down first!” Marik laughed, taking Bakura by the hand and leading him across the room to his bed.

Bakura didn't even protest. He just brought a hand to his lips, still taken aback by the kiss. His mind refused to settle as conflicting thoughts and emotions coursed through him. He hated it. Having feelings, especially confusing feelings, was something he tried so hard to avoid. The closest he ever felt to something was with Ryou. Begrudgingly, he'd come to terms with admitting to himself that Ryou was like a brother to him. Not that anyone would ever know this, of course.

Since meeting Marik, those strange inklings were arising _again_. He couldn't explain it, but they were there. And now with Marik having kissed him, they were refusing to let up.

Marik pulled off Bakura's shoes after the latter sat down, then set them aside. He grinned upon standing back up. “Sorry that the pillows aren't fluffy enough, I don't know what idiot decided that it was a good idea! How are we supposed to get our beauty sleep?”

Waving it off, Bakura just lay on the bed and rested his head on the not-fluffy pillow. His eyes flicked to Marik briefly as the boy sat on a cube chair next to the bed.

With a heavy sigh, he turned his head to look away. This was all too weird and all he wanted was to stop this madness. Maybe a nap was what he needed.

“Ooh, I know! I can lift your spirits with a little sing-song!” Marik exclaimed with giddiness. He cleared his throat and began to “sing”. “ _The sun'll come out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun! Just thinkin' about tomorrow clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow! Till there's none!_ ”

Groaning, Bakura threw an arm over his eyes and squeezed them shut. “Stop it.”

“Yeah, you're right! That's not the song for you! Let me see...” Marik went quiet for a few moments, then snapped his fingers. “I got just the thing! A-A-Ahem! ' _Who's that crazy kook destroyin' the world? It's Zorc! That's me! It's Zorc and Pals! The blood of the innocent will flow without end! His name is Zorc and he's destroyin' the world!_ ”

How... did he even know about Zorc? And why was the Lord of Darkness suddenly a childish theme song? A part of Bakura wanted to ask, but by now, he was losing the strength to care and just wanted this to be over.

Great. Still an overly excited child for _some reason_. Bakura grabbed the pillow and covered his head with it, squeezing the sides over his ears. Marik just laughed and said he understood if Bakura needed the lights out, so he turned them off.

Thankfully, soon he dozed off and retreated to his soul room where he could finally restore his mind. Every now and again he'd glance down at the hole that showed him what was going on in the world. Marik was still sitting by his bedside, talking to him about nonsense. But his expression was no longer trying to be cheerful. He looked worried. Then he actually reached over and held Bakura's hand, squeezing it.

“Feel better soon, Bakura.” Marik said softly.

Strangely, it was kind of touching. If only the madness hadn't happened, then maybe he could appreciate it a little more.


	2. Abridged Bakura (Canon Universe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit, I did NOT know what wanker's cramp was until yesterday. I know, right?! How naive am I?! I legitimately assumed that it was just a jokey line made up by people for something silly. One of Little Kuriboh's jokes making fun of himself for being British. So, yeah, do forgive me for that! I had no reason to assume it wasn't a silly joke!
> 
> Anyway, so now we've got Abridged Bakura in the Canon universe... Enjoy! Any questions, feel free to ask!

* * *

So far so good, even with the setback of dealing with Wanker's Cramp. But with the prophecy of 4Kids bringing about the end of the world, there were bigger problems to worry about.

Still, Bakura felt pretty stoked, in a way. He'd had his actual very own episode and even sent Zombie Boy and his lackeys to Silent Hill, another bonus. Now he was outside the stadium that the locator cards led to, though Marik had dropped him off a few blocks away so that they wouldn't be seen arriving together.

That had been his own idea, though Marik had insisted they just walk in together like a couple of pansies. Thankfully, Bakura was able to talk him down from that.

Now he entered the stadium, keeping his gaze low and walking very slowly, so they would all think that Ryou was having a tough time. Easy enough. Of course Bakura wasn't exactly looking forward to dealing with even more idiocy, considering all the time he'd spent around Marik at this point. But at least it was just part of the task of getting stuff done.

Up ahead, he could see Yugi along with his friends and Mai Valentine. A redhaired girl was near them too, sticking close to Joey it seemed. And for some reason, that Duke Devlin kid who owned the other game shop that went to their school was there too. When did he come around?

Kaiba was there with his little brother, looking as stoic and standoffish as usual. Marik was also there, interacting with Yugi and his friends. Now they were all looking at Bakura as he entered, expressions of surprise on their faces.

“Hey! That's Bakura!” Yugi exclaimed.

Joey looked confused, “What's he doin' here?”

Now Yugi was running over to him, frowning in concern. “Bakura!”

Bakura stopped just as Yugi and his friends reached him, all of them looking confused and worried. Well, that was a change. They usually didn't seem to give a crap about Ryou, so this was weird.

“You should get back to the hospital!” Joey told him, looking at the bandage on his arm and then at him.

Téa nodded in agreement. “Bakura, you should really be resting!”

“Yeah, Grandpa told me you were in pretty bad condition! They let you out?” Yugi asked.

“Look Bakura, I don't know how you found us here, but you better get back to that hospital.” Tristan said.

What the hell? Tristan sounded _normal_ and wasn't spouting a random non-sequitur. It made no sense because he had his original voice restored back in episode nine. On top of that, everyone was expressing genuine concern over Ryou's wellbeing, which was unlike them. They didn't even have a reason to keep up appearances, so there was nothing preventing them from being uncaring.

Even writing it off as them wanting him to go away didn't make sense because then they would've just said so directly. They were genuinely worried.

Bakura hated to be at a loss for words, but he was just so taken aback.

Before he could respond, Yugi took notice of the duel disk on his arm. “Wait, what are you doing wearing a duel disk?”

They all looked at him expectantly as well as confusion. Bakura figured, he had to say _something_ to these wankers. If only to get this show on the road, anyway.

“Somehow, I managed to cure my Wanker's Cramp, enter the tournament, win six locator cards, and find my way here on foot in less than one episode!” Bakura as Ryou stated proudly, giving an easygoing smile. It wasn't hard to imitate his host, even if it made him feel silly.

They all stared at him with wide eyes and slacked jaws. Okay, there it was. The over-the-top Anime reaction. Maybe they were all just having a lapse in comedic judgment and now it was back to normal.

Joey piped up, “What the heck are you talkin' about, Wanker's Cramp? What's that?”

“You... Don't remember?” Bakura as Ryou asked, brow furrowing. “I already told you earlier, it's one of the most deadly of British diseases.”

Dumbfounded, Joey just stared at him, which was more intrinsic, at least. “British diseases? What's that s'pposed to mean?”

“It looked more like you got hurt in the arm!” Téa said worriedly, looking at the bandage. “Oh, wait, you said you didn't remember what happened, right?”

“Yeah, that's gotta be it!” Joey agreed. “It's okay if you don't remember, buddy! It was a tough time for ya anyway! Heh, Wanker's Cramp, that sounds pretty funny!”

Once again, Bakura was taken aback. Why were they questioning him in a logical sense? They were there. Marik had stated outright that he had Wanker's Cramp and they didn't have any trouble believing it. So why were they questioning him now?

Yugi looked concerned, but was frowning in a suspicious manner. “I'm not sure what you're talking about, but Grandpa said your arm was really bad and the doctors needed to take tests on it.”

Before Bakura could respond, Joey interjected.

“Wait, rewind a sec! When did you join the tournament?”

“Join?” Tristan said incredulously. “How'd you make it all the way to the finals?”

“This is freakin' me out!” Joey exclaimed.

Not sure if this was a relief or not, Bakura didn't have time to respond as he spotted someone else entering the stadium. He figured this was his chance to get the others off his back. It was just surprising that Marik hadn't attempted to get the attention back to him, since he lived for that kind of thing.

“I say chaps, it looks like some other bloke is arriving.” Bakura as Ryou said, pointing toward the entrance.

Thankfully, Yugi and his friends all turned their attention toward the tall, imposing figure that was entering the stadium. Sure enough, Bakura could see that it was Marik's older brother, Odion. He was impersonating Marik for the tournament and already seemed to be a much better candidate since he was actually intimidating. The whole silent, stoic act would work too.

Even if Odion did have a weird, childish penchant for the Gummi Bears cartoon.

According to plan, they all bought that this was the Marik Ishtar that had tormented them and even tried to kill Joey and Yugi, so no wonder they were all angry at him now. Odion, to his credit, didn't seem to care. Joey threatened him, but Odion just told him off.

Strangely, even though Kaiba allowed “Marik” to enter the finals because of his possession of his Egyptian God card, he was also threatening to disqualify him for kidnapping Mokuba. That was weird, didn't Kaiba not really care that much about his brother? Oh, maybe he missed something. It had been a long day.

Marik, still close by, was smirking smugly now that no one was looking toward him. It was weird, he was being awfully quiet for a change. That was a little out of character, but Bakura decided to brush it off. Everything seemed to be falling into place, anyway.

A large blimp landed in the stadium, which was revealed to be the location of the Battle City finals. Impressive. They all boarded and were given instructions to use their ID cards for their rooms. There was time before the first duel would begin, so Bakura decided to head off to his room for a bit. Everyone else was acting strange, but not in the usual way that they would. Whatever was going on did feel confusing, but Bakura decided not to dwell on it. He had other matters to attend to.

Right now he sat in his room, pouring over his deck and anticipating who he would duel next. It was a shame that his own episode had ended so soon, but at least he would be getting a little bit of screen time he was promised. Even if it came over half a season too late.

There was a knock at his door. Bakura sighed a bit, figuring it had to be Marik. Probably coming to bother him with a bunch of nonsense. He would come in, state something ridiculous, Bakura would respond about how dumb it was, and it would lead to their now usual cycle of conversations.

Yet, at the same time, he just couldn't resist Marik's company. Then there was the added bonus that Marik was gorgeous. Hey, they would be in his room, alone, just the two of them...

Bakura smirked a little. Maybe this could be his chance to make a move. Relieving some tension before the finals would begin sounded _very_ appealing.

Still, just to be safe, he responded in his Ryou impression. “Yes? Who is it?”

“It's me, Bakura.” Came Marik's voice. He sounded strangely calmer than usual and his voice wasn't holding its usual tone. Was he trying to be subtle?

Beaming maniacally, Bakura stood and went over to the door. He quickly checked himself in the mirror, made sure his breath didn't stink, and opened the door. Marik stood there, regarding him with a cool smirk.

“I'm not interrupting anything, am I?” Marik asked, raising an eyebrow.

Odd, but whatever. Bakura shrugged, answering back in his regular voice. “No, not really. What did you want?”

“I thought we could chat for a little bit.” Marik said, coming into the room once Bakura stepped aside.

“Let me guess, your pillows aren't fluffy enough and you're wondering how you're going to get your beauty sleep.” Bakura remarked snidely and shut the door.

Marik looked at him oddly, then scoffed. “My pillow was perfectly fine, but that's not why I'm here.”

Bakura blinked once. Twice. This was the part where Marik would usually make some kind of an inane comment of some sort. Or maybe he wanted to talk about the prophecy a little bit?

“Um...okay?” Bakura said slowly.

“While I'm glad that you managed to fool Yugi and his friends, I can't help but wonder what you were talking about.” Marik said, his tone and expression serious. “Wanker's Cramp? Why didn't you just stick to the fact that you didn't remember what happened? You were stabbed in the arm, it's obvious.”

Bakura, yet again taken aback, just stared at him. Since when was Marik this coherent and on-task? Why wasn't he throwing in random quips or references? And why was his voice so controlled and not carrying its usual annoying tone? An annoying tone that, Bakura had to admit, was growing on him. A little.

“Weren't you the one who told me that I should injure myself?” Bakura stated, rolling his eyes. “Unless you somehow forgot.”

“I didn't-!” Marik said, then cut himself off. “Never mind. At least Yugi and his friends bought it, so I guess there wasn't much harm done.”

“What, were you expecting me to fail?” Bakura scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “If anything, you were more likely to fail. I'm impressed that you managed to fool them as well. They didn't seem to suspect you in the slightest. I suppose your attempts at distracting them with your midriff succeeded.”

Marik glared, placing his hands on his hips. “I fooled them because I had to act like the mild-mannered Namu that they think I am. I don't need to fool them with my body, don't be ridiculous.”

“Call it whatever you want, then.” Bakura chuckled, shaking his head. “With the way you acted, I'm surprised you were able to maintain that facade. Face it, you're about as subtle as Roland Emerich movie.”

“What are you even _on_ about?” Marik uttered in confusion and annoyance. “Do you have that little faith in me? What do you even take me for?”

Smirking widely, Bakura laughed a bit. “You _really_ don't want me to answer that.”

Even though Marik was acting differently than usual, at least their banter was still fresh. Maybe he was tired, but even tired Marik could still act like he'd had three cups of coffee.

“Never mind all of that, we have to focus on what's to come.” Marik stated, going over to one of the seats and sitting down. “I saw how they're going to decide which contestants are dueling each other. Apparently, it's going to be randomized.”

Bakura frowned, but wordlessly went over and sat down in the other seat. What was going on here? Something about the way Marik was speaking and acting just set off a lot of alarm bells. He was acting so unlike his usual, hyperactive, idiot self. Then again, what did that matter? If Marik was going to be competent and get things done, why not go along for the ride?

“Really.” Was all Bakura said.

“Remember when they assigned us numbers?” Marik asked. When Bakura nodded, he went on. “There was a machine with little balls inside of it. The balls have our numbers. They'll use that to decide who duels who.”

“So we'll have no way of knowing who either of us are up against.” Bakura said, leaning back in his chair.

“Exactly.” Marik furrowed his brow. “So there's a chance that you and I, or rather, Odion, could end up dueling. We need to think about that if it comes to pass.”

“What the bloody hell are you so worried about?” Bakura scoffed. “Even when I win that duel, I could just give Mega Ultra Chicken back to you when no one is looking.”

Marik gaped, staring at him as though he'd grown a second head. “ _What_? Mega Ultra-are you talking about the Winged Dragon of Ra?”

“Um...” Bakura was yet again at a loss for words. Since when did anyone use the correct term for that particular God card?

Rolling his eyes, Marik pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don't know what's gotten into you, but I think you could stand to have a little more respect for the Egyptian God cards. I thought you of all people would.”

Holding his hands up in a defensive manner, Bakura shrugged. “Sorry.”

Marik waved it off and continued. “While I can guarantee that Odion would win if you dueled him, I guess there's no reason why we can't consider a backup plan.”

“Thinking ahead, I like that.” Bakura purred, leaning his chin on one hand, eyes locked on Marik. In spite of the remark that he wouldn't be able to beat his brother, at least Marik was considering all their options for a change. Usually it was plan A with no B.

“You're right, though. If you ended up winning, of course I'd ensure that you would give Ra back to me. I'll keep up being Namu for as long as I can, until I get all three Egyptian God cards back. Getting Obelisk from Kaiba should be easy, it'll just be a matter of which one of us ends up dueling him.”

“Mm-hmm.” Bakura hummed in response, keeping his gaze on Marik.

Whatever ended up happening to the boy, he was enthralled. Sexy _and_ smarter, now? His eyes trailed on Marik's face, which was hard and determined, completely lacking in the childish, dimwitted kind of stares. While he made subtle, slow movements at times, Marik tended to sit still and didn't seem to have any hyperactivity that would have him wanting to bounce around.

And his eyes. Of course Marik always had beautiful eyes, but they too lacked the excited, childish gleam he was used to. They were raw, hardened, but full of passion.

It was incredible. To see that Marik was so _mature_ was like a dream. Even with nothing sexual going on, there were a lot of blood rushing south, and his dead heart was showing semblances of life. Bakura could hear him speaking, catching a few words, and the way he spoke. Deliberate, calculated, and with such a sinister undertone to his voice.

Gods, what he would give for that sexy Egyptian to bend him over this table and screw him senseless. Especially with that voice he had.

Even though Marik was still talking, it wasn't with the same rambling energy he tended to have. It was with purpose. On some tiny level, Bakura couldn't help but kind of wish that he would get into some nonsense, even if it was stupid. And irritating. But it was what he was familiar with.

Still, he could enjoy this while it lasted. Then Marik would soon be asking him about which Lord of the Rings movies were the best or why a she wasn't a shim.

“-and we'll make sure to take Slifer back from Yugi. If we're lucky, he'll be afraid of using Slifer in a duel because-” Marik then looked at Bakura with a frown. “Are you even listening to me?”

“Of course I am.” Bakura replied, still gazing at him. “I was simply letting you finish.”

Marik sat up straighter, scrutinizing him. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Staring at you like what?” Bakura blinked, puzzled.

“Like I'm a piece of meat and you're a hungry carnivore.” Marik deadpanned.

Blinking, Bakura was yet again caught off guard and sat up straighter too. “No, I bloody wasn't!” He protested, feeling his cheeks heating up.

Biting his lip, Marik averted his gaze and huffed. His cheeks were dusted, just barely visible on his dark skin. After a few moments, he looked back at Bakura, countenance serious.

“Let's just eat something. We'll need our strength for the duels.” Marik muttered, reaching over for the room service menu that sat between them on the table.

Bakura nodded wordlessly and took to staring out the nearby window. Had he honestly been eye-banging Marik this whole time? He didn't even realize. Then again, it was nothing new. Anytime he and Marik were in the same vicinity together, he'd find himself staring at the boy. Sometimes Marik would catch him and other times he was oblivious. He'd fallen into the habit, even during a moment when Marik actually had some sense to him.

Great, he couldn't even keep his hormones under control. All Marik had to do was say something nonsensical and stupid, then his slowly-forming boner would be taken care of. Somewhat, anyway. Oh bloody hell, he actually had a boner forming. All of that smartness and maturity within Marik at this moment really had been getting to him.

Leaning back, he crossed one leg over the other, hoping that Marik didn't notice.

They were quiet for a bit, aside from when Marik asked him what he wanted to eat, and Bakura gave his answer. After a while, the food was delivered to the room, and they sat back to eat. Marik was eating a salad and some veggie rice, while Bakura dug viciously into his steak. It wasn't bloody enough, but still tasty.

Marik was looking at him reproachfully, to which Bakura stopped mid-chew and looked back at him. He swallowed his bite.

“What the bloody hell is your problem?” Bakura demanded.

“Did you really have to eat that steak like a starving tiger?” Marik deadpanned, shaking his head. “Don't eat with your mouth open, that's disgusting.”

Bakura rolled his eyes. There went Marik again with nagging him like a wife. “Whatever. You're not my mummy.” He muttered and went back to eating his steak.

A tiny smile formed at Marik's lips as he seemed to try to keep from laughing. They went back to eating, drinking down some soda (Bakura had been tempted to try the alcohol but Marik had smacked his hand away, telling him no, they had to be sober for the duels. And besides, they were both too young to drink, technically).

After they finished and set the dishes aside to be cleaned up, Bakura half expected Marik to either prattle on about nonsense or to skip off to bother someone else. But he didn't. He just sat there, one leg crossed over the other, hands behind his head. It was admittedly more familiar territory, spending leisure time with each other, but there was still something so off.

“Don't worry Bakura, we'll get what we're after.” Marik reassured with a glint in his eyes. “Once I get the Egyptian God Cards and Yugi's Millennium Puzzle, the Millennium Rod will be all yours. Just keep dueling in my place and everything should work out.”

What was he even-oh, right. There was at least a little bit of a canon factors to adhere too, even if Bakura sometimes wondered what applied and what didn't.

“It won't be easy, since we're not the main characters.” Bakura lamented, shaking his head. “But I'll still take on Yugi myself if it comes to that.”

Marik raised an eyebrow, a confused look on his face, but he seemed to drop the thought.

“Speaking of, haven't you noticed that Yugi and his friends are acting...” Bakura tried to think of the right word. “A little more subdued than usual?”

“I'm not sure I follow.” Marik's brow furrowed.

Great, of course Marik's daftness and not quite paying attention to smaller details had to kick in. Bakura sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I know I've spent more time around them, but surely you noticed it as well. No one seems to be pointing out the obvious in a comedic fashion, being savvy to the ways of genres and tropes, and not to mention Tristan.” Bakura explained.

“What?” Marik stared at him oddly, blinking once. “What are you even talking about?”

“Don't you know by now? Tristan says a lot of childish things, a bunch of non-sequiturs, and has a funny kind of voice while doing it. He once thought I was Spider-Man because because of the Energy Chain magic card-long story-and right now he has that odd, ordinary voice from several episodes back. I don't understand why everyone is acting less funny and more, shall I say, dull.”

There was silence as Marik stared at him with a baffled expression. It was kind of funny to see Marik caught off guard, but Bakura had a feeling it wasn't for the right reasons.

“Are you... feeling okay?” Marik asked slowly, narrowing his eyes. “You've been acting a little weird. Is it your injury? Are you going to need to rest or something?”

“What do you mean?” Bakura responded, a stab of uncertainty stinging his gut. “I'm perfectly fine! Everyone else is just acting so bloody weird and I can't understand why. You on the other hand are suddenly paying attention to everything and being coherent? Where's the part where you ask me about, I don't know, some kind of inane nonsense about a TV show that has been off the air for the past fifteen years or something!”

“Why would I ask you about stuff like that?” Marik said incredulously. His expression was akin to as though he'd sucked a lemon. “We have much more important stuff to think about. And for that matter, if I wanted to talk about that kind of stuff, why would I ask you?”

Admittedly, the last comment hurt a little bit. Not that Bakura would let it fester or admit to such a feeling. It was weird that he cared so much, but he brushed off those pesky notions.

“I don't know. Because you'd want to make conversation and ask me anything that's on your mind.” Bakura grumbled.

Marik scoffed, like it was the most ridiculous thing he'd heard. “The only thing on my mind right now is winning back what's rightfully mine and eventually ruling the world with the Pharaoh's unfathomable power. I don't have time for nonsense, Bakura. I thought you of all people would get that.”

While Bakura wholly agreed with such a goal, having the same one himself, there was still something so off. Marik often dropped every important plot point just to focus on something stupid that had nothing to do with anything.

“You better not be cracking out on me, Bakura.” Marik warned. “This is important and I can't have your judgment lapsing. We _need_ to stay focused on getting the Egyptian God cards and Yugi's Millennium Puzzle. And I need you to be at your best if we're going to accomplish all of that.”

Stricken, Bakura had no idea what to say. On the one hand, he liked the fact that Marik was focused on the relevant matters for a change. It was refreshing and so relieving. On the other hand, he couldn't help finding this really weird and strange. Something wasn't right, he could feel it, and yet wasn't able to identify it.

Then on the other other hand, Bakura wasn't sure how to admit that he was a little bit turned on. Marik's take-charge, no-nonsense attitude coming through in a mature manner was actually very sexy. Were he ordering him around during sexual play, he'd be hard-pressed to refuse anything. Then again, that was the norm for their partnership anyway.

In his fantasy, he was on his knees, while Marik stood over him, a hand on his hair. Bakura would gulp and look up at him. Marik would stare down at him, eyes hazed with lust and a lecherous smirk on his face. Marik would give him an order in that matured voice of his, lick his lips, and reveal that he was holding some handcuffs.

It was a little crazy, but as Bakura spent more time around Marik, he knew that if their partnership ever became physical, that he'd end up being subjugated. But he wasn't bothered by that at all. There wasn't a single person in either of his lifetimes that he would willingly bottom for. But for Marik, he would.

Finally, Bakura managed to regain himself. He crossed his legs again to hide his growing boner, cursing himself for letting his horniness get in the way.

“It's not me you should be worried about.” Bakura said a bit more suggestively than he'd intended. He took a breath, closed his eyes, and opened them again.

“You're right.” Marik murmured, looking down at the table. “I want to believe that Yugi will be too scared to use Slifer. But we'll also have to keep in mind that he _might_ use it to win. So we can't get too comfortable.”

“He's got the Pharaoh on his side too, don't forget that.” Bakura said, thankful that the topic at hand could distract him from his fantasies. “His main character powers will prevail if we're not careful. You know how it goes.”

Marik scoffed, shaking his head. “I wouldn't put it that way, but I guess it works.”

This was weird. Why was Marik always so resistant of pre-established factors? Was Bakura going crazy? Did the series take a different turn to be faithful to the source material a little too much? That couldn't be it. Abridged meant things were cut down, but with the concept intact.

What was going on?

Giving a stretch, Bakura placed his hands behind his head and leaned back again. “Well, regardless, we have at least one episode before the first duel starts.”

“ _Episode_?” Marik repeated with a baffled expression. “Bakura, you're not making sense. What's with you?”

“Me?” Bakura scoffed. “You're the one who's character has done a complete one-eighty in the past little while. One minute you're telling me that an evil plan you have was pushing Yugi off a boat. Now you're actually focusing on the important tasks at hand with a lot more deliberate thought to it. I have to admit, while I'm certainly not complaining, it's certainly come out of nowhere.”

Eyes twitching, Marik stood up and slapped his hands onto the table. His eyes narrowed dangerously and he huffed, but it looked a lot more petulant than he probably intended.

“What are you trying to say?!” Marik snarled. “That you think I'm stupid?! Is that it?! In case you forgot, _you_ work for _me_ , so you better show some respect! And I don't know where you got the idea that I wanted to push Yugi off a boat from, that's ridiculous! Stop lying!”

For a second, Bakura faltered. The way Marik looked and reacted seemed to be an indication that he'd hurt the boy's feelings. But even stranger was the sheer denial. He was used to Marik denying his sexuality, but this? Had something happened to make a change?

Still, not one to back down, Bakura stood up as well, his hands on the table. “It seems _you're_ the one calling me a liar here! I know what I saw and what I've heard!”

“And I know what I've seen and heard!” Marik ground out. “You keep saying I'm about to spout a bunch of inane chatter, but it looks like the only one doing that right now is _you_!”

“I do no such bloody thing!” Bakura growled, his eyes narrowing. “I only say such things to humour you!”

“Humouring me would imply that I do it, and I _don't_! I told you, I don't have time for frivolous stuff!” Marik pointed out, huffing. “I don't know what's gotten into you or where you're getting these ideas from but you're out of your mind!”

Leaning closer, Bakura shouted, “Why can't you just pick a side and commit?! These derailments are impossible to keep with!”

“ _WHAT_ derailments?!” Marik shot back, leaning closer as well. “The only one who's been derailing is YOU!”

“I haven't derailed at all!”

“Neither did I!”

“That's a load of bollocks and you know it, Marik!”

“Your baseless accusations don't make any sense!”

Bakura huffed. “You being this matured and coherent doesn't make sense!”

“Say it again!” Marik yelled, grabbing his shirt collar. “Go on, say it again!”

“It doesn't make sense to see you this matured and coherent, you buggering bastard!” Bakura reached out and grabbed the collar of his hoodie.

“ _Name calling_?” Marik spat incredulously. “Who's the immature one now?!”

“What's the matter? Can't handle the truth?” Bakura smirked.

“I can handle the truth just fine, it's you who can't!” Marik tightened his grip. “What the hell has gotten into you?!”

“I could ask you the same thing!” Bakura tightened his grip as well.

Still gripping each other's shirts, their eyes bore into each other, both of them huffing and snarling. But neither made a move to do anything more.

At that moment, Bakura was completely at a loss. Nothing made sense. But being those close to Marik, caught in such a heated moment, was doing nothing to settle his hormones. If this continued, he had to wonder if Marik would snap and bend him over this table, or the bed, and just have his way with him. Oh Gods he wished.

That was when an idea came to him. Why he hadn't thought of this before, he wasn't sure.

“Actually...” Bakura murmured, his voice softer. “I may not know what's gotten into me, but _you_ could have.”

Marik stared at him, as if unsure of what he was looking at. Then his eyes widened as realization seemed to dawn on him. He stood back, letting go of Bakura's shirt. Bakura released him as well and watched the boy intently.

“What... are you trying to say?” Marik asked, his tone unreadable. His countenance wasn't quite the baffled look he'd been giving, but it was teetering on it.

“Marik, you already know that I'm gay.” Bakura said plainly, folding his arms over his chest. “You know that I use my gaydar to go and find gay people. And the gay energy pointed to _you_. You've always vehemently denied your sexuality, despite that it's rather obvious. But, since you've had a bit of a change of heart lately, I have to wonder if you're finally going to admit it.”

Marik's eyes went wide and his cheeks dusted slightly. He stared at Bakura as if trying to find something. Then his gaze went downcast as his posture tensed a bit. “I don't have _time_ to think about that stuff, Bakura.”

“So, you finally admit it?” Bakura smirked, raising an eyebrow.

Clenching his fists, Marik glared and let out a huff. “I don't _know_ , okay?! After the life I've had, do you really think I care about that sort of thing?! Until I secure the Egyptian God cards and the Millennium Items, I can't afford to think about that sort of thing right now! I don't know why you even care so much about my preferences, anyway!”

That was... not the answer he was expecting. Bakura was so sure that Marik would have reverted right into denying his sexuality once again. But this time it was more middle ground, being unsure of it. Granted, it did make sense in principle. Marik clearly didn't seem to have the most normal life under his belt, so why would he think of such a thing? But then again, this was Marik. The subject had come up before. It was something they talked about.

But it was now indicating that something was wrong. Really wrong. Nothing about this was making any sense and he couldn't even figure out why.

“Well. That's different.” Bakura remarked. “I didn't expect that. Weren't you trying to convince me, or rather, yourself, that you like women?”

Marik looked at him incredulously and scoffed. “I just told you that I don't know, Bakura. Why would I say that? If I don't know, I'm sure as hell not going to try saying I _have_ to be straight. Besides, as a tomb keeper, I would've had an arranged marriage with a random woman chosen for me so that we could have a son to keep the tomb keeper lineage going.” He scoffed and looked away, crossing his arms.

Although Bakura was sure of that factor in principle, it was so strange hearing it from Marik. He'd never spoken of that angle before.

“It's not important.” Marik muttered, flicking off some imaginary lint off his shirt. “I'll think more about it when I have everything I want. Maybe.”

Blinking once or twice, Bakura stared at his partner, unsure how to respond. More and more curve balls were thrown at him the longer he spent with the boy. Only instead of stupidity, it was coherence.

“You're serious.” Bakura finally said.

Marik just stared at him and then huffed, looking away.

Well, he could understand that. Bakura always tried so hard to focus on his vengeance and collecting the Millennium Items to use their vaguely established powers for world domination. At the same time, however, he was also very lonely. He wanted to partake in some companionship sometimes, but it never distracted him for too long. Besides, it wasn't going to be until season five that he was going to enact his evil plans. He had plenty of time.

“I didn't take you for someone to want to partake.” Marik then said, giving a light, teasing smirk. “You always seemed like a lone wolf.”

“As I told you before, Marik, it's because secretly I'm very lonely.” Bakura replied. It was strange how even the first time he'd admitted this personal thing to Marik, but even right now, he felt he could.

“You are, huh.” Marik murmured, his gaze softening slightly. He looked off to one side, folded his arms over his chest, and then looked back at Bakura. “The truth is, in a way, I'm all alone, too.”

Bakura's brow furrowed. “What do you mean? You still have your brother and sister, as well as your Steves.”

“Steves?” Marik repeated, looking confused again.

“Your Rare Hunters.” Bakura clarified.

“...Okay, but why would you call them Steves?”

“Because the Millennium Rod only works on people called Steve. You told me that.”

Marik gaped at him for a few seconds. Then he began to laugh, which only grew. So much so that he was almost doubled over, holding his sides and guffawing uproariously. Bakura stared at him, not sure if he was offended or not. Yet, finally seeing a shred of Marik's more playful side was a little uplifting. He'd been so serious and focused that it was unnerving. But finally, he was actually expressing his childish side. Especially since this wasn't a sinister laugh, but mirthful laughter.

“Bakura...! Wow, I mean, wow!” Marik breathed heavily as he tried to regain himself despite the giggles. “That's... That's hilarious! Wow! I mean, if the Millennium Rod only let me mind-controlled people named Steve, I can't imagine I would get very far! I used it on Joey and Téa, their names aren't Steve!”

“But you changed their names to-” Bakura began, but stopped himself.

Everything else that Marik had gotten into could somehow have been written off, in a weird way. But the way he explained his uncertainty about his sexuality and the fact the Millennium Rod didn't have limitations were red flags. One moreso than the other, but they were enough to indicate something was absolutely wrong.

But the only way for this to make sense would be if this _wasn't_ Marik. Which in itself was a ridiculous notion. He looked like Marik (thankfully) and sounded like Marik, but his behaviour was different.

Everyone's behaviour was different.

Except himself.

Bakura sank down to his chair, feeling as though his mind were exploding. Somehow, some way, everyone had changed.

Or was it just him?

“Bakura?” Marik suddenly said.

“I don't understand.” Bakura murmured, looking down at his hands. “Everyone changed.”

“This again? Bakura, nothing's changed. The only one acting weird is you.” Marik stated, rolling his eyes. He sat down as well, staring at Bakura weirdly.

“I have to be...” Bakura began.

It made no sense, but then again, Yu-Gi-Oh in general didn't make sense. He could be here for hours, or days, writing out all the reasons why it didn't. But it was all clear now. The only explanation was the most outlandish. Only because he couldn't explain how or why it happened.

“Marik, I figured it out. I'm in the wrong bloody universe.” Bakura murmured, shaking his head. “How did I not see it before?”

“What?” Marik yet again stared at him like he'd grown a second head. “What are you even talking about?”

“I know it sounds incredibly ridiculous, but it seems to be true. All of this, the way everyone is acting, is alternate to me. But reality to everyone else.” Bakura explained, biting his lip. “I don't know how, or why it happened, but all I know is that I must have been taken to an alternate universe. Or rather, the _canon_ universe.”

“Canon universe?” Marik repeated.

“Are you familiar with the multiverse theory?” Bakura sighed, running a hand along his hair.

“Vaguely. Why?” Marik furrowed his brow.

Wringing his fingers together, Bakura leaned over, closing his eyes to try and figure a way to explain it. “You see, there exist alternate worlds, dimensions, if you will. They all exist as alternatives to the way the lives of you and everyone could have gone. Where I'm from, it's an abridged version of our lives. Along with being abridged, it's also more comedic and ridiculous. I've either replaced or switched places with my... _canon_ counterpart, so to speak. While I am indeed very similar to my canon counterpart, there are some differences. As I'm sure you've seen since we encountered today.”

Marik straightened up in his spot and stared at Bakura, scrutinizing him and frowning thoughtfully. He finally sighed and leaned back. “If I wasn't in the position I was in, I'd assume you were crazy and would need to be in a mental hospital. But the Millennium Items are mysterious and have unspeakable power, so I believe you.”

Bakura smirked, folding his arms over his chest. “As I said, I don't know how it could have happened, let alone if the Ring was involved. Hm, now it explains why everything was so odd to me.”

“It explains a lot, kind of.” Marik said wryly. “So, you're from that other world... And apparently I have to be there since you know me and expected certain things of me. What am I even _like_ over there?”

Chuckling, Bakura shook his head. “I'm not sure you want to know. But let's just say you're far more talkative and... expressive, shall we say.”

“And stupid, apparently.” Marik deadpanned.

“Yes you are.” Bakura sneered.

Rolling his eyes, Marik threw up his hands. “Well, what are you going to do?”

“I don't know anymore than you do.” Bakura shrugged. “I suppose I'll have to figure this out. I could go into my soul room for a little while and let my host take some rest.”

“Whatever you say.” Marik shrugged as he got up. “I'll get to making sure everything's in place. Don't fall asleep too long, they'll probably want to start the duels soon. I'd better go before they realize we're in the same room together.”

Bakura waved him off and went to his bed, sitting down on it. A thought occurred to him then. If this was indeed canon Marik, then aspects of him carried over into the Marik of his world, the abridged world. While he hated these inner feelings, he couldn't ignore them.

“Marik.” He said finally.

Having gone to the door, Marik turned his head to look at him, “Yes?”

“Have you ever thought of...” Bakura began, his fingers clenching the bedcovers nervously. He hated having to be this open, this vulnerable, but he _had_ to know. Just to know where things would go. “Us?”

Marik's brow furrowed. “I don't know what you mean.”

“Us. You and I. Or rather, you and my canon counterpart.” Bakura averted his gaze from the boy. “Together.”

Silence. There wasn't even a sound and if Bakura wasn't able to see Marik's shoes in his line of vision, he would have assumed he'd left.

“Why are you even asking me that?” Marik asked.

Bakura didn't respond. He just glanced at the boy and then averted his gaze. His cheeks were getting warm, much to his chagrin. His mind screamed at him to stop being such a fool and just let it go. But he couldn't. Not when he had an opportunity to find out more. At the same time, he also dreaded the answer. Especially if Marik was repulsed by the idea. Which it sounded like.

A chuckle came from Marik, catching Bakura's attention.

“I guess I should've known with the way you've been looking at me.” Marik remarked.

Bakura said nothing and scuffed his shoe along the floor.

“It's not like I didn't.” Marik said softly.

Now Bakura looked at him, trying to keep from looking excited. Marik was staring at the door, his profile in view of his vision. His expression was unreadable yet again. Eye flicking to Bakura for a second, Marik then bent his head and closed his eye.

Interesting. Bakura felt a strange flutter within his stomach, the same kind of feeling he'd get whenever his Marik willingly got close to him. Only instead of wanting to push away from it to avoid falling in too deep, he reveled. Just a bit.

Giving a chuckle, Bakura smirked. “You know what abridged means, don't you, Marik?”

“Yes.” Marik replied.

“Then there's your answer. My canon counterpart certainly is far more guarded than I am, but not lacking.” Bakura murmured.

Now Marik turned his head to glance at Bakura, his expression pensive. Then his lips quirked into a light half-smile.

“Well, then if that's the case, if my counterpart is anything like me...” He hummed lightly and turned his head away. “You won't have to worry.”

Then he left the room and closed the door without another word.

Sitting there for a few moments, Bakura then took off his shoes and lay on the bed. He stared up at the ceiling, pondering everything they'd talked about, and what to even do about it. Of course it wasn't going to be like in one of those rom-coms, or even a Disney movie. No, he had to keep it to himself. He wasn't even sure if he _should_ pursue it further. But it was nice to know that even amidst his Marik's denial, there was something mutual in there.

It was just going to take a lot to get him to _admit it_.

Still, if there ever came a moment, maybe he could be honest. In a roundabout way.

For now, he let himself doze off and retreated to his soul room. Maybe he'd find an answer of how to get back to his world.


	3. Both Bakuras Meet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a moment I've wanted for quite a while, an encounter between Canon Bakura and Abridged Bakura! I don't think I did the idea justice and I do apologize. But I hope you guys will enjoy it nonetheless! And yes, there's still two more parts to go! Wouldn't you like to see what happened after they return to their rightful universes? ;) This was originally going to be the last part! A bonus, if you will. But, then I got the idea to get into what happened after they return to their universes! So expect those parts soon!

* * *

Something was amiss, but Bakura wasn't sure what it was. He looked all around within his soul room, but there was a presence inside. Narrowing his eyes, he turned around, expecting to see Marik appear. But instead he cane across... his host?

For a moment he assumed it was Ryou. But when he spotted the narrowed, hardened eyes and the angular features of his face, he realized it wasn't. Bakura balked as he realized, it's himself. His reflection? No, there aren't any mirrors in here. How was this possible?

Bakura stepped forward toward the other and paused. They're dressed identically, it's exactly like looking in a mirror. Right down to the fact his other self wore a Millennium Ring. They regarded each other like a couple of alley cats, slow and guarded.

Suddenly, the other Bakura smirked and folded his arms. “So you're my canon counterpart. I didn't expect this.”

Canon Bakura frowned, eyeing the other him, and wasn't sure how to respond. He couldn't have been dreaming, he didn't dream. He just retreated into his soul room whenever he slept.

“What are you talking about, and how is this possible?” Canon Bakura ground out.

Giving a laugh, Abridged Bakura just shook his head. “I'm you, from another world. I don't exactly know how this occurred, but it seems that you and I have switched places.”

About to protest something so ridiculous, Canon Bakura gave pause. Another world? Switched places? Would this really explain why everyone else was acting weird and he himself hadn't changed? He stared at his other self, studying him. Then went over and reached out to touch his shoulder. Sure enough, he made contact with a solid person. Abridged Bakura followed his hand, then stepped back.

“I didn't expect this to be a lot for you to take in, but I suppose you haven't considered the possibility. Understandable.” Abridged Bakura said with a shrug.

“Well. I suppose stranger things have happened.” Canon Bakura finally said, gripping his own Millennium Ring tightly, as though his other self would try to steal it.

“Indeed.” Abridged Bakura agreed. “It took me a little while to catch on, admittedly, but I figured it out soon enough. A little time with Canon Marik made it abundantly clear to me.”

Canon Bakura sniffed and placed his hands on his hips. “Well, then I suppose a little time around that imbecile of a Marik I was in the company of should have been all the indication I needed.”

Now Abridged Bakura laughed, smirking widely. “Oh, you poor sod. I can't believe you managed to last that long around him.”

Canon Bakura muttered. “I couldn't keep up with his nonsense.”

“Not a lot of people can, I'm afraid.” Abridged Bakura said airily. “Well, you needn't worry about that any longer.”

“Hardly. I'll have to return to my world and deal with him.” Canon Bakura said, looking off toward nowhere in particular. “Well, it's all part of the deal.”

“You're rather lucky that he's focused and very in-tune with his goals.” Abridged Bakura chuckled. “My Marik didn't even know if he wanted to kill Yugi Moto. He tends to do that, skimming over relevant threads.”

Scoffing, Canon Bakura shook his head. “From what I've seen, that sounds like him. He was convinced that I had short-term memory loss.”

This made Abridged Bakura roll his eyes, but there was a smirk quirking at his lips. “Oh, bugger. Probably referencing _Finding Nemo_ while he was at it.”

Odd, but whatever. Canon Bakura figured to get on task. “We'll need to figure a way to end this so that we can return to our rightful worlds.”

“Easier said than done, I'm afraid.” Abridged Bakura said, looking around them. “A pity, I would almost rather take your place.”

“And leave me to deal with everyone acting like imbeciles? I think _not_.” Canon Bakura snarled.

Not at all phased, Abridged Bakura just shrugged. “Worth a try.”

Of course he couldn't intimidate himself. Canon Bakura decided to just move on and figure this out. At least he knew now that he wasn't crazy, it was a strange mishap. Did it have to do with their Millennium Rings, maybe? He couldn't imagine any of the other Items doing this somehow.

Looking down at his own Millennium Ring, Canon Bakura touched it lightly, as if it would give him answers. His eyes flicked upward, watching as Abridged Bakura was doing the same thing.

“Everything was fine until I arrived at the stadium.” Canon Bakura remarked. “That was when everyone was acting uncharacteristically.”

“Hmm, I had the same experience.” Abridged Bakura replied, looking up from his Ring. “The last time I saw Marik before then, he was in-character. In my world, anyway.”

Canon Bakura nodded in agreement. “But I didn't see or hear anything strange. I just walked into the stadium.”

“I did as well.” Abridged Bakura said, beginning to pace. “Nothing out of the ordinary. At least no more than usual.”

They looked at one another, scrutinized, and could see neither one had any more answers than the other.

“Perhaps it doesn't matter.” Abridged Bakura reasoned.

“Returning to our respective worlds is the important thing.” Canon Bakura looked about the soul room, now wondering which one it belonged to. He looked back at his counterpart, giving a light smirk. “But I suppose I should have known that a counterpart of mine would be the most competent one there.”

Abridged Bakura let out an evil laugh. It was fairly different from his own, admittedly, but it had the same idea. “Oh, you don't know the half of it. I'm surrounded by idiots at every given moment. Not quite sure how they survive. Marik likes to believe he's the most evil of evil villains to exist, but he doesn't realize that it's me holding things together.”

“That Marik in your world was about as competent as a wet paper bag.” Canon Bakura said snidely, shaking his head in amusement. “I can't imagine how he gets anything done with how immature and foolish he is.”

“His idea of an evil plan is re-arranging Yugi's sock drawer.” Abridged Bakura remarked. “I still can't get over that one.”

Caught off guard, somehow, Canon Bakura guffawed at such a notion. He snickered, managing to hold himself together from doubling over. “You can't be serious.”

“My world is the abridged universe with a lot of comedy.” Abridged Bakura deadpanned. “Trust me. That's normal compared to whatever else can happen.”

“I'm quite sure I've had enough of that world for one day.” Canon Bakura said, exhaling a relieved breath.

“I'm surprised you even made it this far.” Abridged Bakura sneered. “You must have gone insane.”

Letting out an annoyed huff, Canon Bakura averted his gaze and folded his arms over his chest. “I'd rather _not_ think about it.”

Laughing a bit, Abridged Bakura gave a look of understanding and nodded. “Of course not. We can simply pretend this never happened.”

“I can't imagine how I'm going to explain your behaviour to Marik, however.” Canon Bakura frowned, looking toward the floor.

“Oh, you don't have to worry about that. I explained it to him once I figured it out.” Abridged Bakura waved it off. “So, he should be expecting you back soon. I don't expect he's going to tell anyone.” He then chuckled. “It was rather interesting to be in the presence of your Marik. Very different than I'm used to.”

Scoffing, Canon Bakura snickered. “At least I don't have to deal with that idiot you call a partner anymore.”

“I don't disagree and I don't know how I do it, either.” Abridged Bakura muttered.

There was silence as his expression became pensive, then reverted to being stoic and unreadable.

“But let's just say his company isn't exactly the worst thing I have to deal with.” Abridged Bakura murmured, his tone surprisingly soft.

Admittedly, Canon Bakura was a little taken aback. But somehow, he couldn't help but see where his counterpart might have been coming from. Try as he may not to think too deep of personal feelings, there definitely was a strange change in how he felt since meeting Marik. It was unlike anything he ever felt in a long, long time. If ever.

“Well, he did try to help me.” Canon Bakura admitted. “I suppose I can't say he doesn't care.”

Abridged Bakura looked at him with curiosity. “What happened?”

“Being in your world wasn't exactly pleasant.” Canon Bakura said, averting his gaze for a moment. “He was acting like a worried fool, which was quite sickening. But he did ensure that I came to my senses. Even though he was convinced that I had short-term memory loss.”

A funny look came to Abridged Bakura's face and a light smirk traced his lips. “I can't say it surprises me.”

“He even tried kissing me. Some kind of fairy tale notion, it seemed.” Canon Bakura muttered, shaking his head. “Had I been more of sound mind, I would have stopped him.”

This clearly caught his abridged counterpart off guard as his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Confused, Canon Bakura stared at him, not sure what to make of his reaction. What was with him?

“He... _kissed you_?” Abridged Bakura uttered.

“It took me by surprise, too.” Canon Bakura said, thinking back to that moment. “I'm not sure what he was thinking with that.”

“Kissed you?” Abridged Bakura repeated, his eye twitching. “On the-”

“ _Yes,_ he kissed me. On the mouth.” Canon Bakura ground out. When did his other self become annoying? “Why in the world does that matter?”

Abridged Bakura didn't answer. He just stared straight through him, his eyes glazing over for a second. Then he looked away, an angry pout on his face as he crossed his arms.

Under his breath, Abridged Bakura muttered, “You lucky bastard.”

Oh Gods. Was he really hearing all of this? Canon Bakura couldn't even formulate a response. Why was his counterpart thinking about matters like this? Much less with Marik? Well, okay. That part _did_ make sense. Marik was the only person they were in actual contact with that didn't involve having to be Ryou. The only other person that knew who and what he was. The only other person who, dare he say it, accepted him for it. Understood him, even.

It seems his counterpart took it a step further.

Rolling his eyes, Canon Bakura waved it off. “If it makes you feel any better, he's mentioned numerous times that he finds me, therefore you, attractive.”

His abridged counterpart visibly perked up and looked at him. “Really.”

“Yes.”

“Ah. I see...”

“What are you even after?” Canon Bakura demanded to know. He turned to face his counterpart, studying him. Which was kind of hard to do since it was a mirror image of himself.

“I don't know what you mean.” Abridged Bakura said, furrowing his brow.

“I'm talking about vengeance.” Canon Bakura deadpanned. “What _else_?”

This made his abridged counterpart roll his eyes. “Do you even know what abridged means? Everything about yourself is who I am, too. Of course I seek vengeance and to bathe in the blood of my enemies. The Pharaoh's father slaughtered my entire village to create the Millennium Items and made my life a living hell. I know it's going to take me two-hundred bloody episodes, but by then I'll be able to enact my plan to collect all of the Millennium Items and use their vaguely established powers to destroy the world. And hopefully become the main character in the process.”

Aside from the use of the term episodes, for some reason, Canon Bakura let out a hum, satisfied by the answer. It was good to know that his other self wasn't _that_ dimwitted.

“I see.” Canon Bakura relaxed his stance just a bit. “Tell me something, how much have you told the Marik in your world? He seems to be aware of Zorc.”

“Of course he is.” Abridged Bakura replied, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Zorc is part of his Evil Council.”

“...Evil... Council?” Canon Bakura repeated, stupefied yet again.

Abridged Bakura shrugged. “Long story. It's not nearly as evil or productive as it seems.”

“Well, regardless, he was, for reasons I can't fathom, singing a childish little theme tune about him. Destroying the world, being a crazy kook or something.”

Looking genuinely shocked, Abridged Bakura lowered his arms and his mouth dropped. Upon closing it again, he swallowed. “He did?”

“Yes. I don't know why he bastardized Zorc into some childish tune about... destroying the world, Zorc and Pals or whatever it was. Ridiculous and insulting, if you ask me.” Canon Bakura muttered, rolling his eyes. “As if the _real_ Zorc would ever let himself be subjected to _that_ kind of nonsense.”

“That's the _Zorc and Pals_ theme song.” Abridged Bakura said, as if he hadn't heard him. His tone was surprisingly soft. “He remembered.”

Canon Bakura twitched and glared daggers at his counterpart. But Abridged Bakura wasn't even looking at him. Instead, he was looking off to one side and had a warm smile on his face. A _smile_. Nothing about it was malicious or sinister, it was just an ordinary smile. His brown eyes were filled with warmth. Even with his sharp eye shape and angular features, it looked so strange.

When did a smile on someone's face manage to look alien and yet somewhat intriguing? Especially when it was your own face? Was he himself even capable of such an expression without it being for the Ryou impression?

Luckily, Abridged Bakura seemed to remember where he was and his countenance changed to something far less alien.

“For a little while, I was in a soap opera cartoon with Zorc. We called it _Zorc and Pals_. We played a typical married couple. While we certainly had some fun and entertaining episodes, the main gag of him destroying the world became old after some time.” Abridged Bakura said as though he were asked about it. “I certainly wanted to do more than play the housewife getting perturbed when the husband forgets the anniversary. _Again_.”

There went his eye twitching again. Gods, what was _with_ the abridged universe? Why did the comedy aspects have to make him cringe so hard?

Well, okay, not all of it was bad. He was amused at how idiotic Yugi and his friends were, looking back. Even if the strange “thiefshipping” term was eluding him when gay jokes were made at the expense of himself and Marik. It was also hilarious to compare both his Marik and the abridged Marik. Seeing such an undignified version of Marik was both somewhat scary and yet ungodly hilarious. Even if it was beyond irritating. Maybe he'd been too caught up in his own mind to appreciate it, but now that he knew the truth, he could probably use it to his advantage some day.

But seeing his other self involved with such nonsense, he didn't know what to think.

Whether or not Abridged Bakura noticed was unclear. He just paced about, seeming to be lost in thought. “Well, it ended a little while ago. I'd brought it up to Marik in passing at least once or twice. Zorc attended our meetings, at times we discussed it. We're still on good terms, just doing different things.” He glanced over at Canon Bakura and smirked. “It's all very confusing to you, isn't it?”

Canon Bakura just glared.

Abridged Bakura chuckled. Of course he wasn't phased.

“Well, I can see that this experience might have... _rattled_ you a little.” Abridged Bakura said. His tone wasn't what one would call sympathetic, but an understanding of sorts. “I can't blame you. The canon universe is what it is, even if it does get ridiculous. But where I'm from, it can exceed the canon levels, as I'm sure you saw. I certainly have my share of lamenting about the fact that I'm surrounded by idiots.”

No longer bristled, Canon Bakura relaxed somewhat. There really was no need to be testy with his other self. They may have been different in some regards, but they were the same. They understood each other.

“It wasn't easy.” Canon Bakura said, looking away.

“Even I end up being surprised.” Abridged Bakura said, shrugging. He looked around them once more, as if searching for something. “But you saw a portion of what I put up with.”

Although he was dreading the answer, Canon Bakura had to ask. “How do you even put up with all of it?”

Abridged Bakura didn't respond for a minute. His arms were crossed, his gaze was fixed somewhere other than him, and his stance was relaxed. Like he was leaning against a wall that wasn't there.

“I can't really say.” Abridged Bakura murmured. “Even I'm not sure. It's just what my life is. Sometimes I may get plastered but that only leads to a nasty hangover. I live it and work to achieve my goals. It helps when I kill and torture my victims, however.” His smirk widened into a sadistic grin. “That always helps to take the edge off. Oh, nothing like the screams and cries of the innocent as I stab them with reckless abandon! Watching with anticipation as I see the life leave their eyes. It's rather gratifying. And on the side, I kill and torture animals. Especially in front of children. So, you can say I have my ways of coping.”

Killing. Although Canon Bakura hadn't exactly been a stranger to killing someone if need be, he tended to have more fun sending unfortunate people to the Shadow Realm. Something about their souls being lost and alone in a dark dimension where monsters roamed, being left to suffer and slowly go mad was far more satisfying. Though he could see exactly where his counterpart was coming from and nodded in agreement.

Then a strange look came upon Abriged Bakura's countenance. It was hard to place, but it was far from the sinister smirk the two would wear.

“Then there's Marik. Oh, his stupidity and absolute childishness can drive me up the bloody wall. As I'm sure you saw. Now that I've compared the two, I see it even clearer.” Abridged Bakura went on, shaking his head. “You know by now that his idea of an evil plan only amounts to petty mischief. Re-arranging the Pharaoh's sock drawer or stealing his leather trousers, ooooh, how horrible. Somebody help! Believe me, I don't deny that they're ridiculous. If you were to ask me why I even bother going along with those schemes...” He shook his head again.

“I'm not sure I want to know why.” Canon Bakura agreed. “I'm not exactly one to talk.”

“Why _do_ we let our Mariks order us around?” Abridged Bakura wondered.

Canon Bakura sniffed and looked away. “Your answer is as good as mine.”

“It was a rhetorical question.”

“I know.”

Pacing a little, Abridged Bakura sighed and stared down at the floor. Or what would be the floor if there was one. “He'll drive me crazy, not seem to hear a word I say, reject any corrections I have to make, argue, and act like a petulant brat. I swear headaches are daily now. Sometimes I want to slam my head against the wall.”

Then his expression changed as he looked up. A light smirk played at his lips, but it wasn't sinister.

“But, he makes me less miserable. I'm far less lonely with him around. He does make me laugh at times, too.”

That was it. Canon Bakura absorbed those words and decided, why not, to think them over. To think that it was ever possible to feel that way. A little less miserable, a little less driven by hatred and desire for vengeance. To actually have someone you could consider a companion. A partner. To be less alone.

It was such a foreign concept that Canon Bakura never once thought of. Yet, now that Marik was in his life, and all these things were put into words, it made sense. Had he really been lonely? He wasn't sure. But it seemed likely. Ryou was about the only contact he had, if ever. Now there was Marik.

He'd never thought of it, let alone realized, but it seemed to be true on his end, too. Being around Marik was nothing he'd ever experienced before. On some level, he liked it. Marik was someone who could understand the pain, the suffering, and the desire for vengance in a way no one else ever did.

Canon Bakura felt himself smirk as his body relaxed. Maybe he wasn't about to admit those feelings out loud, but within here, where it couldn't go anywhere.

“Perhaps I can say the same thing.” Canon Bakura murmured.

Abridged Bakura glanced at him, then gave a hum of acknowledgement and smirked. They gazed at one another, understanding, and didn't say anything. They didn't need to.

After hearing Yugi and his friends always going on about friendship and bonds and all that, he'd felt disgusted by such notions. Why would you want to feel something for people when you were going to inevitably lose them?

“I do hate the way I feel.” Abridged Bakura confessed, his gaze skyward now.

Canon Bakura looked at him at the corner of his eye, then looked up as well. “Hm, I suppose you took the words right out of my mouth.”

“I've never once felt that way in five-thousand years.”

“Neither have I.”

“It sickens me and I hate it.” Abridged Bakura ranted, clenching his fists and kicking at the floor. Then he deflated once more, his expression more neutral.

“I can't let it distract me from my vengeance and _yet_.” Canon Bakura said, exhaling.

“Even more than feeling it, I hate how I _want_ it.” Abridged Bakura huffed.

They glanced at each other, having that understanding. There was no one else they could talk to about it. Except their own selves. And now each other, even if they were technically the same, yet not. It was weird. Yet, it was an outlet.

“It's a damn good thing he's pretty.” Abridged Bakura muttered.

“You fixate on his looks?” Canon Bakura scoffed.

Abridged Bakura gave him an unimpressed scowl. “I'll know you're lying if you deny that you do.”

“I have far more important things to focus my attention on.” Canon Bakura smirked, raising his arms in a shrugging gesture. “I'm not blind, you know. Of course he's very attractive. My virility isn't exactly nonexistent. I just don't pine after him, why would I?”

Pursing his lips, Abridged Bakura looked away and huffed. “And what am I, some bloody schoolgirl?”

Unable to help himself, Canon Bakura threw his head back and laughed. It was actually quite priceless to see such a pathetic display of wanton that couldn't be met. At least it wasn't himself facing it, despite this being an alternate version of himself. The possibility was real, but at least he could repress it.

“Now now, there's no need to get defensive.” Canon Bakura placated, enjoying this far too much. Sure, he was essentially embarrassing himself, but it was still hilarious. “We're the same, after all. We have the same goals, the same tactics, the same story, everything. You're just simply a part of that with the filler cut out, as the term abridged implies.”

“This conversation doesn't leave this place.” Abridged Bakura said curtly.

“No argument from me.” Canon Bakura gave a finger gun. “Who would I even tell?”

“Indeed.” Abridged Bakura's eyes gleamed.

Exhaling, Canon Bakura asked, “You mentioned telling Marik what had happened.”

“Yes. Once I figured it out, I let him know.”

“I see. I didn't have the chance, since I didn't know what happened before now.”

Nodding, Abridged Bakura sighed, “I suppose I'll have to fill him in.”

“He probably wouldn't have believed me.” Canon Bakura shrugged.

Silence befell them once more as inner tensions lifted, if only somewhat. Right now, it was time to figure out how to get out of this and go back to their respective worlds. Still with no answers, they paced and thought it over.

Then Abridged Bakura broke the silence.

“Perhaps we should use our Rings,” he said, his eyes lighting up at the thought. “With Ancient Egyptian laser beams.”

Canon Bakura just stared at him. “What.”

“Oh, don't give me that. Don't you remember what happened with Pegasus?” Abridged Bakura rose an eyebrow. “We tend do that in my world.”

Letting out an annoyed huff, Canon Bakura just waved it off. “Just go on.”

“I figure we could engage the magic of our Millennium Rings.” Abridged Bakura explained. “Perhaps if the magic coincides from both sources, it could be the key to switching back.”

“I think you're on to something.” Canon Bakura smirked, now taking hold of his own Millennium Ring.

“Then let's try.” Abridged Bakura did the same with his own.

Both Rings lit up in a bright glow, the tines pointed forward, and a beam of energy shot out from the eyes. The beams intersected, neither stronger or weaker than the other, just meeting in the middle. Both of them focused, concentrating on the magic and their intent.

It went on for a while, neither were sure if any progress was being made, and the light seemed to glow brighter and brighter...

* * *

Deep within the recess of the shadows, a booming chuckle sounded, going unheard to both Bakuras. A shadow loomed, with a light in the shape of the Eye of Horus perched along the head.

“I did it. I caused a little rip in the fourth wall and played around a bit with them.” Said the voice. “It was priceless to see their faces.”

“ _Excellent work, Melvin_. _4Kids will reign once we cancel their show..._ ” Said another, distant voice.


	4. Return to the Abridged Universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there folks, we're going to start off with Abridged Bakura back in his own universe! Just one more part to go! To all of you fine people leaving kudos on this story, thank you! I very much appreciate it!
> 
> Also, I originally had the Kaibacorp Nazis present, but I went and removed their dialogue since I don't want to offend anyone. I admit I found them stupidly silly and laughed at the expense of Nazis being portrayed as jokes, but, I think it'll be in the better interest that I don't perpetuate what Little Kuriboh set out to change. Sorry about that, guys! I fixed the mistake.

* * *

  
  


Everything seemed to be normal from the viewpoint into the real world from soul room. He was alone, save for the door that would lead out into the “hallway” that separated his soul room from Ryou's.

Bakura swallowed, then decided to just go for it. Ryou's body was still on the bed and Marik was sitting next to his bedside. He wasn't sure how much time passed, but probably not too much. He just hoped this worked, but it seemed promising so far.

Getting back into the body, he stirred a bit, and then opened his eyes. Marik was looking at him with wide-eyed wonder, and then he blinked.

“Bakura?” Marik asked, letting go of his hand.

“Marik?” Bakura said hoarsely. He managed to move himself into a sitting position, looking at his partner.

“Are your memories back? No more short-term memory loss? Can you see me?” Marik asked, leaning over toward him. He then held a hand toward him with two fingers held up, “Quick! How many fingers am I holding up?”

Bakura blinked, then sighed as he gently pushed Marik's hand away. “Two. It's me, Marik. I'm here.”

“...I don't believe you.” Marik narrowed his eyes.

“Very well, don't believe me.” Bakura held up his hands. “I suppose you don't want an explanation for what had happened.”

“You don't have to, Bakura! You had short-term memory loss!” Marik said, giving a pout. “It was kind of scary and you went crazy! More crazy than usual, I mean!”

“No, Marik. It wasn't short-term memory loss at all.” Bakura shook his head. “Listen, it was because of a magical anomaly of some sort. It had me switching places with, well, my counterpart in the canon universe of our show.”

Marik's eyes widened, his jaw dropping. “What?! So you weren't in the middle of a crazy episode because of short-term memory loss like Dory?!”

Bakura nodded. “That's precisely what I'm saying.”

“Holy frig!” Marik squeaked, wide-eyed. “That was another you?! From another world?! But he looked just like you!”

“Of course he did, he's me. But yes, that's what I said. My canon counterpart ended up switching universes with me. I still don't know how it happened or even why. I went to my soul room and encountered him, actually. We used our Millenium Rings to switch back.” Bakura said, turning himself around in the bed and swinging his legs over.

Marik looked him over, then reached over, poking him in the nose. “Fluffy? Is that really you?”

“What more proof do you need?!” Bakura huffed, taking his hand. He couldn't resist squeezing it gently, then letting go.

“I'll have to ask you something.” Marik challenged.

“Like what?” Bakura rolled his eyes.

Marik thought for a moment, then grinned. “What Disney movie did I watch a bajillion times growing up?”

“ _The Little Mermaid_.” Bakura replied without hesitation. “You like the movie for many reasons. The main one being that you identified greatly with Ariel and her situation.”

“Yessss!” Marik grinned widely and did a little happy dance while still sitting down. “One day I still want to befriend a seagull, fight a giant octopus and fall in love with a handsome prince! But Ishizu said she can guarantee that only one of those things will happen, though. Jury's still out on it!”

“ _Really_...” Bakura purred, making sure to save this newfound information in his mind for future use. “Other Disney films to follow that you liked for this reason include _Cinderella_ , _Hunchback of Notre Dame_ , _Nightmare Before Christmas,_ and most recently, _Tangled_. But I fail to see how asking questions regarding you will prove that I'm me.”

“You remembered, that's why!” Marik declared, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Thank frigging Ra! The other you was weird!”

“Marik, he's my canon counterpart. He's still me.” Bakura muttered, rolling his eyes. “In case you forgot what 'abridged' means, which I'm assuming you did.”

“But he didn't laugh when I said certain things like a naughty boy and spent a lot of the time wondering what was going on and then messing up my shirt! There I am saying something and he looks at me like I'm an alien!” Marik pouted, crossing his arms. “And I thought you were a grumpy kitty!”

Ignoring the kitty comment, Bakura just sighed. “He was in a world he wasn't familiar with and reacted as such, I can't say I blame him. I certainly didn't know what to think in the canon universe. “Look Marik, there's nothing to worry about now. We're back in our rightful universes and we can move on with the show. So long as 4Kids doesn't cancel us.”

“They better not!” Marik said with a shudder. “My evil plan is set in motion!”

“You mean _our_ evil plan.” Bakura argued.

“Whatever!” Marik waved it off. Then he lit up and leaned over, his eyes gleaming. “Did you see the other me?! What did he look like?!”

Bakura gave him a strange look. “He... looked exactly like you. He dressed the same. Just as my counterpart did. Everyone looks the same. Although, he _was_ far smarter and more competent than you are.”

“Hey!” Marik huffed, pouting. “I'm perfectly smart and evil, thank you very much! Wait, when did you realize he wasn't me?”

“Right about when he started saying he was undecided of his sexuality rather than straight up denying he was gay.” Bakura chuckled. “Then he revealed that his Millennium Rod worked on everyone, not just people named Steve. Let's just say I put two and two together.”

“A Millennium Rod that works on more than just Steves?!” Marik exclaimed. “That's crazy talk! Crazy talk, I tell you! Whatever, he better not have been sexier than me!”

“How can he be sexier when he _is_ you?” Bakura scoffed. “He looks the exact same as you do. You figure that out for yourself.”

Marik huffed again, but seemed to be thinking this over. That is, unless he was suddenly thinking of other things, which was very possible. In fact, he was probably wondering about something that happened in a movie that he wanted answers about.

After a few seconds of silence, he finally spoke. “Bakura?”

“What.” Bakura responded, not looking at him.

“Does that mean I kissed the _other_ you?” Marik asked, making a face.

“Well... yes.” Bakura squirmed lightly at the thought of that. He still felt that sting of envy that his canon counterpart got a kiss from Marik after only knowing him for, what, a couple hours? “What even possessed you to do that?”

“I thought he needed a spell broken and he went to sleep standing up! I thought he was you but with short-term memory loss, Bakura!” Marik protested shrilly, flailin his arms. “I might be evil, but they always say a kiss breaks a spell!”

“Marik, that's Disney and fairy tale nonsense. It doesn't work like that in real life. Even if real life is a dumb anime show.” Bakura deadpanned, rolling his eyes. Still, he felt a tiny shred of pride knowing that it was with the intent that the kiss be direct to _him_. “Also, it would have been long-term memory loss in that case.”

“Tomato, tomahto, Bakura!” Marik waved that off, shaking his head wildly.

“No, it's not. It's-never mind.” Bakura sighed and trailed off. He glanced at Marik and an idea came to him. A smirk trailed his lips as he leaned forward toward the boy, placing a hand on his arm. “You know, Marik, I've been thinking.”

“About why the frig didn't the Hobbits just fly to Mordor? Because I have some opinions about that!” Marik replied excitedly.

Shaking his head, Bakura gave a light tug to Marik's forearm. “I wasn't talking about that, Marik. I was talking about us. You ended up kissing my counterpart, assuming it was me, but it wasn't. I hardly think that's fair.”

“Bakura, it wasn't gay! It was meant to be a kiss to break a spell!” Marik pointed out. “I'm still totally straight!”

“Regardless of your reasoning, don't you think it's a tad unfair that you ended up doing such a thing to someone who ended up not even being me? You ended up being deceived, though not intentionally.” Bakura went on, giving a smirk. He ran his hand up Marik's arm lightly, reaching to his shoulder.

Marik's countenance was pensive, but to his relief, he didn't look repulsed. Bakura wasn't sure if this would work or not, but the little flutter in his stomach that he only tended to get when the life left the eyes of his victims wasn't helping. Either way, he patted his partner's arm and pulled his hand back.

“Well, he was stiff. Almost like a mannequin. Like in that movie with that woman from _Sex and the City_!” Marik then said. “But I also thought he fell asleep! Like in _Sleeping Beauty_!”

“Right.” Bakura realized his counterpart failed to mention the lack of response on his part. But that didn't matter. “Well Marik, I can assure you that I wouldn't just sit there if you had kissed _me_.”

Marik scrutinized him, for some reason. Then he looked haughty. “You better not, because I've kissed tons of people! Women! I've kissed a lot of women!”

“Where and when did anything like _that_ happen?” Bakura scoffed.

“You had to be there!” Was Marik's response. “Tons of lovely women got the Marik Ishtar kiss!”

“Zoo animals don't count.” Bakura said, rolling his eyes.

“Hey! They weren't zoo animals! They were women! Real women!” Marik pouted. “And I have been labelled as an awesome, perfect kisser!”

Oh, this was just gift-wrapped for him that Bakura couldn't even try to hold back his smirk. He looked at Marik, lowering his eyelids and resting his hands on the bed on either side of himself.

“Is that so?” Bakura purred suggestively, lidding his eyes. “Well Marik, would you care to demonstrate that notion?”

There was a pause and he searched Marik's face for any signs of disgust. There didn't seem to be any, much to his relief. His cheeks were a bit pink, which was also a good sign. Still, he had to be prepared for Marik to vehemently deny being gay and shutting it down.

Marik was surprisingly quiet for a bit, but Bakura not only basked in it, but knew it was the right thing to do. He had to let Marik come to a decision on his own level and to go from there. Especially if he did agree to this.

Finally, Marik sighed and turned to him. He then softly said, “Come closer.”

Stomach dropping in anticipation, Bakura merely nodded and scooted a bit to lean closer to the boy. Marik leaned closer as well, his expression neutral, which was interesting. Their noses were touching and he could feel Marik's breath on his face.

“It's not gay, you know. Like when I thought I was breaking the spell and the whole being asleep thing!” Marik said, his cheeks turning pinker. “It's to prove a point. It's to do what I thought I was doing but for real this time!”

Bakura gave a soft chuckle. “It's only fair.”

Not another word was spoken. Marik leaned in and their lips met. Marik's lips were dry, but warm, and felt wonderful against his own. It might not have been the passion-induced, feverish frenzy that his fantasies often came up with, but it also wasn't something he _didn't_ fantasize about. Bakura melted, keeping himself relaxed and kissed him back. The kiss was shy, gentle, a little uncertain, but earnest on Marik's part. For Bakura's part, he kept it slow, but with fervour. He wanted so much to up the passion, but the last thing he wanted was ruin the moment.

The fact that it was Marik's lips touching his own was all that mattered. That just made it feel _even better_.

Marik pulled back after a few seconds, his expression a myriad of emotions that couldn't be placed. Then he smiled, his cheeks brightening slightly. It was actually pretty adorable. His eyes were even lit up. He looked like a bashful school boy rather than a wannabe evil villain and just completely enhanced his already present beauty all the more.

He just hoped he was reading the boy's face correctly, since it looked like he had enjoyed it. Bakura had to fight the urge to pull him back in for more, his body was _craving_ it so bad. But he couldn't push his luck. Not when Marik agreed to something that was objectively ridiculous. And the last thing he wanted was a boner.

“See? I told you! Best kisser ever!” Marik declared, giving a grin.

Knowing his cheeks were probably rivalling a couple of tomatoes, Bakura just averted his gaze to hide the little smile growing on his lips. “Well, you've convinced me.”

“Yes! I win!” Marik jumped up, giving a whoop. “Yet again I've proven that I, Marik Sebastian Ishtar III, am a champion kisser!”

“Whatever you say.” Bakura replied, crossing one leg over the other just in case a boner decided to creep in. His mind was going to savour this for a long time to come, that was for sure. He just wished a cold shower was possible. “And did I deliver? I participated, you know.”

“Um...” Marik now looked a bit sheepish, which was admittedly pretty cute. “Weeeell it's hard to compare since I've kissed _so many_ people I can't tell anymore!”

“Uh-huh.” Bakura deadpanned, not believing that for a second.

“But uh, you were good! Very keen.” Marik admitted, not quite looking at him.

Bakura chuckled and gave him a sidelong glance, smirking. “Well, you took charge and it was easy to follow. I do like that.”

Their eyes met and immediately they looked away from each other. Bakura knew on some level he would regret this, but he wanted it too badly to care. All he had to do was press forward, deal with these stupid feelings that plagued him and repress them as best he could.

But he knew he'd be powerless if Marik ever woke up, stopped denying his sexuality, and wanted to take things to another level. His fantasies were too apparent of this fact. It wouldn't be easy now that he had a small “taste” of what being physical with Marik would be like. But he had to press on.

After all, he wasn't about to let his canon counterpart take a kiss from an unwitting Marik like that. It wasn't fair. But now the score was even. He just had to wonder if Marik's Canon self would do the same.

Oh well. Either way, it did work out nicely.

Giving a stretch, Bakura lay back down on the bed, and stared up at the ceiling. He didn't exactly need the rest, but figured to take it easy until they had to go and duel.

“You should take a nap! A real one this time!” Marik said, twirling the Millennium Rod that he now suddenly had in his hand. “I'll sing you a song to put you to sleep! I did it for the other you but since it wasn't you, I'll do it for you this time!” He cleared his throat. “ _Who's that crazy kook destroyin' the world? It's Zorc!_ _That's me!_ _It's Zorc and Pals! The blood of the innocent will flow without end! His name is Zorc and he's destroyin' the world!_ ”

Bakura chuckled, trying to hide his smile. It was good to be back. Oh sure, he had a feeling he'd get irritated, rub his temples, groan, and feel incredibly irritated pretty soon. But among that, he knew there'd still be a little less misery weighing on his soul.

He closed his eyes, thankful for the lights being out in the room, even though he knew Marik's voice would disturb his rest. But oh well. He'd figure a way to deal with it if he had to. Maybe Marik would even get bored and leave the room, but that probably wasn't about to happen. Who else could he even talk to on this blimp? Odion, despite his brother, was impersonating Marik and it would look suspicious. Unless he was willing to deal with Yugi and co, he was probably going to stick around here. At least they didn't have to hide themselves when spending time together.

Then Bakura froze as he felt Marik's hand gently tousling through his hair. His bangs, then going along the crown, and anywhere he wanted to reach. Normally he hated it when people touched his hair, which was something Ryou didn't care for either. But since it was Marik's hand, he allowed it. Hell, the touch was gentle and didn't tug. Was he trying to emulate petting a cat? Either way, it was nice.

“I knew there was a reason I called you Fluffy.” Marik chuckled.

“I told you not to call me that.” Bakura grumbled.

“Nooooo.” Marik crooned. “You said not to call you that in _public_ , Bakura. There's a difference!”

Unfortunately, Marik had him there. But he wasn't about to admit that.

“Are you really petting my hair?” Bakura asked.

Marik grinned. “Yep! I'm petting your hair because it's so soft!”

Bakura cracked an eye open and smirked. “I'd rather do a _different_ kind of petting.”

“What do you mean, petting _my_ hair?” Marik asked in confusion. “Because it's not that fluffy. I mean don't get me wrong, my hair is awesome and as gorgeous as the rest of me, but it's not fluffy! But yours is so soft! And those bat wings, they're so cool! Man I love what you do with your hair!”

“Yes, you've told me that.”

“It bears repeating because your hair if flufftastic!”

“That's not even a word.”

“Yes it is! Just like nervouscited, or hangry!”

Bakura rolled his eyes. “I think I'll be better off in the canon universe.”

“Nooooooo!” Marik whined, shaking his head. “If you go, your other self has to take your place! He has even more of a stick up his butt than you do! You're like a cat and he's a jagular!”

“Jaguar.”

“Whatever!”

“Oh come on Marik, he isn't that bad. He's still me, after all.” Bakura chuckled. “You made mention of the fact that you found him attractive, therefore, me. I'm quite flattered.”

Marik's face heated up considerably. “It doens't mean I'm gay! I'm just not blind and can spot sexy attractiveness in people! There are lots of men that I know are sexy! Have you _seen_ Brad Pitt?”

“So you _do_ think I'm attractive?” Bakura lidded his eyes, licking his lips.

“Well of course! I knew you were attractive the minute I saw you!” Marik griped as though he'd asked a dumb question.

Giving a laugh, Bakura reached over and patted his knee. “I'll be sure to remember that. But anyway, as I said, he's still me. Just don't expect him to readily move along with your schemes.”

“I have great schemes, thank you very much!” Marik pouted. “I like you better, so no! You stay!”

“I'm so honoured.” Bakura said flatly, but chuckled at the sentiment.

“You should be! Gaining the liking from me is a special privilege!” Marik poked his arm with a finger. “Come on Bakura, you're just a grumpy kitty! The other you was all like, 'My name's Bakura and I want the Millennium Rod, gimme the Rod, stop being so foolish you fool' or something!”

“I want the Millennium Rod too, you know.” Bakura pointed out, rolling his eyes. “As I said, he's still me. We have the same goals.”

“But he's so serious!” Marik pouted. “No fun at all!”

“You caught him during a time of uncertainty and being off guard, he didn't take very well to it. He can be quite impish and likes to crack lame puns for some reason. I just don't feel the need to do so all the time.”

“'Oohh look at me, I'm Bakura and I like to make puns!'” Marik mocked.

“You do realize you're just mocking me in the long run, right?” Bakura scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Okay fine!” Marik shrugged, not bothered by it. “Yeah he looked like you and all, but I like you better, Fluffy!”

“You've made that clear.” Bakura muttered.

“But you guys had one thing in common!”

“Marik, he's _me_. We have just about everything in common.”

“He's a messy eater just like you! Always eating with your mouth open, it's messy and gets everywhere! I keep telling you not to do that! And he did it, too!” Marik complained, shaking his head.

“Sod off, you're not my mummy.” Bakura grumbled.

“Didn't your mother ever teach you how to eat?” Marik scolded.

Bakura sighed, looking away. “She died over five-thousand years ago.”

“Probably of embarrassment because you can't eat properly!” Marik said.

“Marik.” Bakura growled in warning. “Drop it.”

Looking startled, Marik looked downward and sighed. “Sorry. It's okay... my mom died, too.”

The tension left him quite a bit and Bakura glanced at him. Somehow he wasn't surprised, but the sad look in his partner's eyes was enough to send a sting through him. He wasn't even sure what to say. Comforting was not something he was good at, but it was Marik. His friend. He had to say _something_.

“How?” He asked.

“Childbirth.” Was Marik's response.

Bakura frowned, but understood. The Ishtars did live in a tomb off in the middle of nowhere in Egypt, so he had a feeling that they didn't even seek out modern medicine or care. Five-thousand years ago was one thing, but in the twenty-first century? Ridiculous and cruel. No wonder Marik ended up this way.

“Odion and Ishizu said she was very sweet and loving.” Marik went on, his voice soft.

“I'm... sure she was.” Bakura said, sitting up on the bed now.

Marik sniffed, his eyes still on the floor. “I wish I could've spent some time with her.”

“I'm... sure she would have wanted that, too.” Bakura managed. At least he didn't feel like it was a lie. “You were her son, after all.”

He noticed Marik resting his hands on his knees, so he reached over and gently touched one. Marik didn't react, but turned his hand over to hold Bakura's lightly.

“I know I got my dad's colours, but I know I got my looks from my mom.” Marik said, his tone a bit lighter than before. “Like the saying goes, shakin' what my mama gave me.”

“Well... that sounds about right.” Bakura said, having had a feeling that Marik got his good looks from his mother's side of the family.

“I'm sorry about your mom too, Bakura.”

“No need. It was a long time ago, anyway.”

Marik finally looked up at him, his expression unreadable. This was so strange, it was the most vulnerable and _real_ that Marik had ever been since they met. Sure, he found it awfully strange to be in such a human moment with him, but then again, who else was ever this close to him? Bakura exhaled and let Marik hold his hand for a bit, finding he liked the feeling.

Unfortunately.

Curse these stupid feelings.

Curse this stupid attraction.

Curse this human moment.

Curse it all!

But what else could he do? It was either this or be bitter, angry and alone all over again.

“Are you running a fever again, Bakura?” Marik finally asked. “You get like that a lot, it's weird. Are you sick?”

Oh, bollocks. He was blushing again. Gods, he hated that his cheeks never seemed to retain their usual paleness around Marik. They were pretty much perpetually rosy these days. Great.

“No Marik, I'm fine.” Bakura slowly drew his hand back with great reluctance. He already felt disappointment from the loss of contact. “It's just very warm in here.”

Marik didn't look convinced, which he had to admit looked cute. Usually he took whatever excuse thrown his way and accepted it. That was new.

“You better not get sick during the duels!” Marik said, pouting a little. “It'll be very embarrassing if you're up there dueling and have to stop to throw up every five seconds.”

“Don't be ridiculous, that won't happen.” Bakura snorted. “You know this show takes card games very seriously.”

“It would be funny, though!” Marik smiled. “You're up there all like, 'Hahaha, you activated my trap-oh bugger, I have to throw up again! Hold on a second...'” He then pantomimed getting a bucket and making vomit noises into it.

Rolling his eyes, Bakura shook his head. “I don't sound like that.”

“Yes you do, you're British!”

“You make me sound like an old man without his dentures.”

“You're five-thousand years old, Bakura!”

“I was around your age when I died.”

Marik giggled, poking his nose. “You look great for your age!”

“I haven't even aged! How long have you been waiting to make that joke?” Bakura muttered.

“A while!” Marik chirped. He reached over and ruffled Bakura's hair.

Bakura gave him a look, which didn't deter the boy. “If you're going to touch me, believe me, I know _something else_ you could be touching.”

“Like what?” Marik asked, blinking. “I thought you didn't like people touching your face.”

“No, I wasn't talking about my face.” Bakura smirked, gently taking hold of Marik's hand.

“Then what were you talking about?” Marik looked confused.

Smirking lecherously, Bakura slowly started to lower Marik's hand toward him. “Oh, I'll show you...”

A screen suddenly lit up next to the bed, startling them both as sound came on too. They turned, seeing one of the Kaibacorp security guys facing the camera and announcing that they had to be present in the main hall.

“Oh, bugger...” Bakura muttered, letting go of Marik's hand and getting up from the bed. “Come on Marik, we have to get going.”

“Wait, were you going to make me touch your stomach?” Marik asked as he stood up. “But you're not pregnant!”

Rolling his eyes, Bakura adjusted the Millennium Ring and went to retrieve his duel disk. “Of course I'm not. My host and I are both male.”

“Wait, so if you were a girl back then and you were pregnant... would your spirit be pregnant?” Marik asked, following after him.

“I highly doubt that since I require a physical body to exist in this world.” Bakura replied, unable to believe he was indulging such a ridiculous thought. “I couldn't very well make that happen.”

“This is going to bother me!” Marik pouted.

“Don't worry Marik, I'm sure our fangirls will write all kinds of fanfiction about that.” Bakura remarked dryly. “They'll write about a past version of you and a female version of my past self and ensure that you knock me up, as the saying goes.”

“Heh, knowing all the fanfics they write-hey!” Marik turned pink and pouted.

“What? It means you would be straight this time.” Bakura teased, winking at him.

Marik looked pensive, biting his lip. “I don't know how to feel about that.”

“Why not? You're always claiming to be so straight and if I were a woman, would you be able to keep your hands off me?” Bakura purred, turning around to face him. While he didn't care for being thought of as a woman, let alone the idea of Marik picturing him as such, he did enjoy making the boy squirm.

“Um...” Marik looked away.

Bakura laughed, “Come on Marik, we can discuss magical past self babies and gender bending later. We have more important matters to attend to.”

Marik brightened as he went to open the door. “Okay! I just better get out of here so no one sees us leaving your room together! Téa's been making a lot of shipping jokes about us for some reason!”

“Why would they care? They're a bunch of idiots and, if they do have some thread of rational thought, they'll think that because you saved my life, that I was wanting to repay the favour.” Bakura reasoned.

“It's still weird!”

Bakura just rolled his eyes and opened up the door to head out. There wasn't anyone in the hallway, so they went to the main deck, where all the other characters were waiting. They were then directed to the grand hall for the “pre-tournament milk and cookies”, as said by one of the Kaibacorp security guys.

“Oh hey, Malik!” Joey greeted upon seeing them.

Bakura balked. _Malik_?! And they were dumb enough, even for them, to fall for it?

“Hi, Steve!” Marik said amiably. Bakura gave him a look and elbowed him in the ribs, “Uh, I mean, Joey! Yeah, Joey! Sorry I get those names mixed up sometimes.”

“That's okay Malik, I get names mixed up sometimes too! Sometimes I call Tristan Frank!” Joey said. “You're a real kidder!”

“Thanks, Steve! I mean Joey. Good luck in the finals!” Marik smiled.

Joey offered a thumbs up. “Aw, thanks Malik! You too! Ya know, at first I thought you were suspect, but I think you're a pretty okay guy!”

“I like you too, Steve! That's why I'm going to kill you last!” Marik declared.

“Classic Malik, always such a kidder!” Joey laughed, as though he'd said something funny. Then he looked at Bakura curiously. “Hey Bakura, somethin's been bugging me. How in the heck did you win six locator cards in a single duel? I mean, it took me a few episodes to even get four!”

Although put on the spot, Bakura immediately put on his Ryou impression. “I don't know, how come you're always making that stupid 'nyeh' sound?”

“Nyeh? What stupid 'nyeh' sound?” Joey blinked, confused.

“The one you just made.” Bakura as Ryou said.

“Nyeh? What are you talkin' about, nyeh?”

“You're doing it right now.”

“I don't get it, what noise? Nyeeeeehhhh-”

“The one that's coming out of your mouth at this very moment!”

“But I can't hear anything nyeeeehhhhh-”

Marik chimed in, “I hear it too! It's weird.”

“I don't hear a thing.” Joey said, still confused.

“Man Bakura, he must have a hard time hearing certain words!” Marik remarked. “I wish I didn't have to hear certain words! I could make a list them!”

Bakura sighed and shook his head. He was back, all right. A part of him kind of missed how everyone was less stupid and weird in the canon universe, but, this was where he was supposed to be. He'd just have to live with it. Oh well.


	5. Return to the Canon Universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, folks~! The ending! This was fun to do and made for a fun concept! Maybe one day I'll put a bonus chapter of both Mariks meeting? XD That'd be all kinds of funny, I bet! Who knows, if I get enough inspiration and material to work with, I'll consider it! For now, I hope you guys enjoyed this stupid little frolic!
> 
> Also, I just love the mental image of Bakura scowling and making a show of how much he hates cuddling, but he's still clinging to Marik. :P He loves it. He's a cuddlebug and won't admit it. We all know this. ;)

* * *

Bakura awoke, finding himself in what he assumed was his room on the blimp. Or was it Marik's room? By now, he couldn't remember, they all looked the same. But now he wondered, was he back? Did it work? He couldn't tell, since the blimp in both worlds were the same.

He sighed, sitting up and running a hand through his hair. In five-thousand years, this was by far the strangest experience he'd ever faced. Nothing fazed him this much before. But he had to wonder if anything else could possibly top it.

Marik was nowhere to be seen, which emitted an odd feeling in the pit of his being. What was he going to do now? Moreover, what would Marik do? He knew what happened, after all.

Well, then again, there wasn't much either of them could do except to move on. It was just an experience that would soon be a memory.

Getting off the bed, he stepped into Ryou's sneakers, and headed to the door. He slid it open and peered into the hallway. A few doors down, Marik stood there, and was talking to Téa. He tensed and listened, trying to listen in. It _seemed_ normal, but he was preparing himself for a curveball.

Téa suddeny noticed him and smiled more. “Oh, hey Bakura! There you are!”

Marik turned around as well, giving a pleasant smile. “Bakura! Hi there, it's nice to finally meet you properly!”

“You remember Namu, right?” Tea asked. “I know you were in a tough spot at the time, though. Are you feeling okay?”

Bakura had to resist the urge to sigh in relief. They were normal. He was back. Téa wasn't making inappropriate jokes at the expense of their sexuality and Marik was Marik, having to put on his Namu act and not being an imbecile. Perfect.

So he put on his best Ryou smile and laughed in an easygoing manner. “I'm doing just fine! It's lovely to meet you as well, Namu. I never did get a chance to thank you properly for saving me... So thank you.”

“Aw, you're welcome! You don't have to thank me, you were injured and of course I wanted to help you.” Marik chuckled, looking sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I'm glad you're doing okay, that's the important thing. Heh, I have to admit that it's pretty amazing how you were able to pick yourself up like that!”

“I know, right?” Téa giggled. “You're a real trouper, Bakura!”

“Oh, nothing can keep me down for very long!” Bakura as Ryou said with a grin. “I wasn't about to let something like an injury keep me from participating in this tournament, after all.”

Marik laughed warmly, his smile widening. “I like your spirit! You guys are all pretty inspiring people, I'm pretty lucky to have met you.”

“The luck is all ours!” Téa gave a thumbs-up. “It's always great to meet a new friend, so that just makes it even better!”

“Mm-hmm, as the saying goes, the more the merrier.” Bakura as Ryou said with a mild shrug.

“You guys are too much.” Marik chuckled, “So anyway, I'm definitely looking forward to the duels! I bet you're quite a duelist yourself if you made it this far, huh?”

“He is!” Téa said with a smile. “Bakura's put together a really creepy and interesting occult deck! I played him one time at school and oof, he got me good with those ghostie ghouls!”

“Wow, what a coincidence! I have a grave keeper deck myself!” Marik laughed, then turned to him. “So if we end up dueling, it'll be ghosts and graves, huh?”

Chuckling darkly, albeit in a Ryou manner, Bakura said, “I bet I could take you down into those graves.”

“And I bet I could bring those ghosts back into their graves!” Marik declared, then looked sheepish. “But I'm a bit of an amateur, so maybe you could give me some tips.”

“Oh Namu, you can't possibly be an amateur if you made it this far!” Téa assured, giggling. “Anyway, I was just going to check in on Mai and see how she was doing. I'll see you guys later, okay?”

“Of course, Téa. We'll just go and trade some tips and tricks I'm sure he'd be dying to learn.” Bakura as Ryou said cheerfully, casting a wink toward Marik.

“Ha, I need to learn all I can for this!” Marik chuckled. “See you around, Téa.”

“Bye guys!”

Téa waved and went off down the hall, knocking on one of the doors. Once she disappeared into the room and the door shut, the acts were dropped. Marik's eyes flickered to the door of Bakura's room and he smirked. Bakura wordlessly led the way inside and heard Marik enter and close the door behind them.

“Are you feeling better?” Marik asked in his regular voice.

Sniffing, Bakura turned around to face him. “I don't know how, but yes. I'm _better_. It all worked out. I'm sure my... _other self_ filled you in.”

“He did.” Marik nodded, folding his arms over his chest. “So you figured out what happened.”

Bakura sighed, giving a nod too. “We encountered within my soul room, or his. It was probably a crossroads anomaly. We aren't sure how or what caused it, but it was good to get answers.”

“It was _interesting_ , to say the least. He was a lot more forward than I'm used to from you and the way he'd unabashedly say the weirdest things with a straight face.” Marik remarked with a smirk. “The idea of the Millennium Rod only working on people named Steve? Referring to the Winged Dragon of Ra as Mega Ultra Chicken? That Tristan thought he was Spider-Man? How can you not laugh at that? He also said that the Millennium Ring has something called a _gaydar_.”

Bakura wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or to cringe. He knew some of this by now, according to the alternate Marik, but this was just something else. “After everything I saw and heard in that world, I'm not sure it surprises me anymore.”

“And he had the nerve to call me stupid! Stupid and immuature!” Marik said, shaking his head.

Snickering, Bakura sneered. “He wasn't wrong about _that_ one.”

Marik glared and let out a groan, looking away. “Apparently the other me is pretty dumb and childish.”

“You didn't have to spend all that time around him. Insufferable, completely oblivious, loud, obnoxious, childish, immature, and just begging to be sent to the Shadow Realm.” Bakura grinned maniacally then, showing off his teeth. “Yet... so are you.”

“I'm _not_!” Marik snarled, advancing on him. “You have a lot more nerve saying that kind of stuff, you know! Need I remind you that you work for me?!”

Laughing, Bakura shook his head. “Are you trying to intimidate me? You know it's not going to work.”

“I know that.” Marik muttered, standing straight. He glanced down at him and gave a smirk. “That's what I like to see.”

“Right.” Bakura snickered and held his hands up in a defensive manner. “I'm just pointing out the truth.”

“Shut up.” Marik rolled his eyes. He placed his hands on his hips, studying them, and then a sneer overcame his features. “It's a shame, I'm going to miss the way he looked at me.”

Puzzled, Bakura furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

Laughing a bit, Marik walked around him in a circle, shaking his head. “He kept looking at me with hunger in his eyes. It was weird at first, but after a while, I realized he wanted me. Not sure how my other self is too stupid not to pick up on it. It was clear as day.”

Oh Gods. While he knew that his abridged counterpart was a lot more overt with his carnal desires, to think it actually made itself known to Marik like that. Bakura huffed and turned away.

“He even told me that he's lonely.” Marik purred, giving a chuckle. “Isn't it _cute_? If he'd been around a bit longer, I bet I could have turned him into a puppy begging for a treat.”

Cringing at such an analogy, Bakura let out an annoyed huff. “Will you stop that?”

“What?” Marik came into his view, grinning. “Is it that hard to believe someone could want me that bad?”

Not even bothering to dignify that with a response, Bakura just glared. “I think we've established _enough_ about what had happened. Don't we have far more important matters we could be attending to?”

“We still have time before the dueling starts, Bakura.” Marik assured, stepping closer to him. “Just relax. That's part of what this is about, anyway.”

Bakura wanted to back away, but it felt like his feet were glued to the floor. It didn't help when Marik stepped closer and placed his hands about Bakura's waist. Their bodies were nearly touching.

“Besides, let's just say your counterpart kind of put things into...” Marik leaned to Bakura's ear, whispering, “ _perspective_ for me.”

Shuddering, Bakura's body remained in place, despite that his mind was screaming at him to move. It brought him back to the conversation he'd had with his abridged counterpart. How the attraction they'd both felt toward their respective Mariks were apparent. Gods, why was this happening? He'd never been tempted five-thousand years ago, so why was he tempted _now_?

Maybe if Marik had an ancestor back when he himself was alive in Ancient Egypt... Which Bakura was certain he probably did, but had never met him/her. No! He couldn't think that! It was ridiculous and not something he should be toying with.

But Marik's touch, seductive gaze, and striking eyes were not helping. How was he even supposed to focus on anything else?

Maybe he ought to just go and switch back with his abridged counterpart. Maybe he'd appreciate this a whole lot more.

“If you really didn't want it, I'd know. But you know what? Go ahead and tell me to stop.” Marik said, brushing Bakura's bangs from his eyes. “Just look me in the eye and tell me to stop.”

Perfect, he had an out. Now all he had to do was put a stop to it. Simple and quick.

Bakura couldn't speak. He just stared back at his partner. Was it possible for his dead heart to emit life? Either way, his host's body was just refusing to let up. His mind was awash with many questions, hormone-driven visions, and the wanton. Oh Gods the wanton was _not_ letting up.

Marik had a hand on his shoulder now, gently squeezing, but ready to let go. His other hand was not in his line of vision. Those striking, _beautiful_ lavender eyes were watching his every move, gleaming with excitement.

Gods, the moments he took the time to admire Marik's appearance and he was lost in his beauty.

He trembled where he stood and his knees buckled. Why, oh why, did his attraction to Marik have to violently manifest itself _now_? He didn't have a problem with it before, but now, it just refused to sit back. Great, it had to be a combination of Marik being so forward and his exchange with his abridged counterpart. Wonderful. Now he was really feeling the age of his host and when he'd “died”, which was most likely Marik's age as well.

“ _Why_ are you doing this?” Bakura hissed and took a sharp intake of breath.

“Why _not_?” Marik countered, pressing closer to him. “Like I said, your other self put this into perspective for me and I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. Besides, I think you're attractive and I _know_ you want me.”

Bakura wanted to argue, but not only would it be lying on his part, but Marik had spoken to his abridged counterpart. With the mention that said counterpart was apparently a lot more overt with his attraction to Marik, on top of that.

“There's more important matters to think of, we-” Bakura began, but Marik placed a finger on his lips.

“We probably won't have another chance for a while, Bakura.” Marik pointed out. “And you still haven't told me to stop.”

Frozen by the touch, Bakura regained himself and kissed the finger. Marik drew it back, his smirk growing. He made a move by grabbing both of Bakura's wrists, surprising him. But Marik didn't stop there and advanced, backing him up against the nearby wall. Bakura gulped and flinched as his back met the hard, cool surface of the wall behind him. Marik pressed against him, taking one of his hands in his own and interlacing their fingers, raising it above his head. Their bodies were flushed together, no space in between, and nicely aligned.

“All you had to do was tell me.” Marik purred suggestively, gazing into his eyes and leaning closer. “You've done a lot so far, I'm impressed. I can't give you the Millennium Rod yet, but I think I can figure a good way to make you feel compensated.”

Bakura trembled and bit back a noise. With one hand held and his other arm grasped by Marik, he had no hope of moving. As expected, Marik was quite strong and had a good grip on him. Then again, he didn't even want to move. No matter how much he was trying to repress these burning desires, there was no letting up.

Marik's lips were hovering just a breath away from his own and he could feel his overshirt being lowered down his arm. Bakura let out a groan, gazing into Marik's eyes and narrowing his own.

“Just do it already. Enough teasing me.” Bakura ground out.

Smirking maniacally, Marik pressed closer, if it was possible, and kissed him. His grip on Bakura's hand and arm tightened. Bakura sighed through his nose and kissed back feverishly, allowing it to deepen as Marik's tongue traced his lips. Eyes closed, he surrendered, to a degree, if only to just release this tension. It helped that Marik's lips were soft, albeit dry, and moving quite expertly against his own. Had he done this before?

A sting entered his gut, but he forced the thought away. What reason did he have to be _jealous_? That was ridiculous.

Marik made a pleased noise as his tongue met Bakura's, the appendages working wildly against one another. Finally, one of his hands was freed, and Bakura immediately buried his fingers into Marik's hair. He hummed, feeling Marik's hand coming around his waist, trailing up his shirt. Trembling from the touch of the warm hand against his skin, Bakura felt his legs spread as if on their own accord.

Growling pleasurably between kisses, Bakura's hand dropped to the gold choker that Marik wore for purchase. His other hand was still entwined with Marik's above his head, holding him in place. Marik pressed his hips in closer, to which Bakura could feel the need within his cargo pants. Oh Gods. His own jeans were getting a bit tight, much to his dismay, but there was little he could do to stop that.

Marik pulled back a bit for air, their noses still touching, and looked at him. His face was flushed, cheeks showing their colour against his dark skin. Even more amazing was the haze of pure lust in his eyes, directed right at him.

Breath hitching, Bakura could only stare, still unable to somehow believe that anyone could truly be looking at him like that. With such unfiltered hunger and lust. His own cheeks were flushed and he had a good feeling that the look of lust in Marik's eyes were probably mirroring his own.

Lowering his head, Marik peppered kisses and light bites to Bakura's neck, to which he let out a pleased whine. Good Gods, did he really make that noise? He trembled and struggled to breathe, angling his head to accomodate.

“Don't leave a mark...” Bakura hissed.

Marik chuckled against his throat, placing soft kisses and then moving up his jawline. “Believe me, I want to... But you're right. No way we can explain why their friend Bakura and Namu suddenly decided to start necking.”

“And yet you're trying to seduce me.” Bakura muttered, giving a nibble to Marik's bottom lip.

“I didn't even need to try.” Marik smirked as he raised his head to meet his gaze.

As if his body decided to act on its own accord, (which only be possible if Ryou somehow took control of his movements) Bakura freed his hand from Marik's slackened hold. He kissed him again, one hand burying itself into the blond strands and the other snaking around his back. Marik returned the kiss with just as much fervency, pressing harder against him and even rolling his hips. Bakura moaned at the incredible heat that coursed through him from the friction.

Feeling Marik's hand trailing up his shirt and touching his stomach, Bakura squirmed a little. He didn't want to admit that he was ticklish there. To retaliate, his hand slipped up the back of Marik's crop top, only for Marik to suddenly reach down and grab his arm.

Marik pulled back, giving a warning look. “Don't.”

Bakura frowned. “Excuse me?”

“Don't touch me there.” Marik released his arm, looking edged off.

Letting out a huff, a part of him wanted to press about why. But judging by the look on Marik's face, in spite of his pleasured haze, told him not to. Not that he was usually considerate of others, but for once, his instincts told him to just let it go. He would get the answer eventually, though.

“Fine then.” Bakura muttered, bringing his hand to Marik's hip.

There was a look of gratitude on Marik's face, but it was gone moments later before their kissing resumed. Moment forgotten, Bakura kept a hand at Marik's neck and used the other to tread along his torso. Right down to his rear, which he squeezed. A pleased moan escaped Marik between their mouths and he pressed closer, their clothed bulges coming into contact.

Hooking both arms around Marik's shoulders, Bakura pulled him closer, desperately holding to him. He felt Marik's hands wandering along his back, clutching at his shirt to seek purchase. Bakura held tightly to him and his legs lifted, wrapping around Marik's waist. Marik allowed it and made sure they were both steady, not breaking their liplock.

Breaking away to breathe, he didn't let it last long before he kissed Marik again. Who knew first-hand kissing _felt_ so good, let alone stirred all of these incredible sensations. They should have done this sooner, but oh well, now they could.

He thought back to before, when the alternate Marik had kissed him. He'd been frozen in surprise, as well as having to process everything that had happened. But were he in a better sound mind, it would've been drastically different. Even if the strange sensation of something missing was prevalent.

Was it that somehow, he'd known it wasn't the same Marik he knew? Probably. Because right now, aside from the fervency, it felt different. More right, in a way. Strange how that worked. Deciding not to dwell on it further, Bakura further surrendered to Marik's passionate kisses. He just couldn't get enough of this.

Why had he been so staunchly against these affections, despite wanting it too?

It was strange. Like he could just forget everything else going on. Their goals to duel and defeat Yugi and the Pharaoh. Their goals for world domination. The Millennium Items. His own _revenge_. All of that was there, but he could just shelf it in a way he'd never been able to before. And that was, strangely, just fine. For now. Not forever, just for now.

Pulling back a bit, their lips still touching, Bakura let out a light snarl. “ _Damn you_...”

Marik smirked against his lips and chuckled. “You're cute when you get like this.”

Huffing, Bakura reached around to grab at his hair and pulled him back in. Their lips reconnected and Marik pushed him harder against the wall. Unable to help himself, Bakura moaned between kisses and heard Marik's breath hitch. Their kisses deepened again, tongues exploring each other's mouths and hands clutching each other.

After a bit, their eyes opened as they pulled back, lips still just barely touching. Panting heavily, they stared at each other, expressions mirroring lust.

“I'm taking you to bed _._ ” Marik whispered, tone heavy with hunger.

Bakura smirked against his partner's lips. He stole a soft kiss and then gave a curt nod. “Then take me there.”

Making sure to keep his arms steady, Marik pulled them away from the wall and Bakura tightened his legs. Going over to the bed, Marik fell forward onto it, pinning Bakura onto the mattress. He raised himself up on his hands, gazing down at Bakura with hunger and breathing heavily.

Opening up his legs, Bakura reached up and pulled Marik down on top of him, allowing him to settle between his legs. They kissed, holding each other and aligning their bodies. It felt incredible to lay like this, with Marik on top of him, feeling his body and his warmth so intimately. Sometimes life gave you something you never realized you wanted until you got it. This had to be one of those moments. As Bakura relished in this surprisingly wonderful, close intimacy, he could feel like his dead heart was beating. Melting happily.

Their kisses were softer and more languid this time. Which were, surprising to him, actually welcomed and enjoyed. Gods, passionate and fervent, or gentle and slow, Marik was too _good_ at this. Even the lightest, softest of kisses were leaving Bakura craving more. It was the most intimate he'd ever been with another person in either of his existences. Bakura moaned in pleasure between kisses, holding more to Marik and stroking his hair. He could feel Marik's fingers raking through his hair as well, which only further added to how lovely this felt.

It was all making him melt.

Their gentle, lingering pecks continued a bit. Marik then pulled back, to which Bakura involuntarily let out a small sound of protest. Their gazes met and Bakura was awed at the sight. Speechless, even.

Marik's hair was framing his face, hanging down past his cheeks. His eyes were full of tenderness and lust, but in such a stranger way than before. Then he smiled. A genuine smile completely lacking in deviousness or malevolence. With the lighting in the room, though not natural sun, it accentuated his appearance. Bakura's breath caught in his throat as he gazed up at his partner, his entire being stirring from it all.

Gods, he was so beautiful.

Laying his forehead to Bakura's, Marik breathed softly and placed a hand on his cheek. The gesture was tender, possibly the most tender touch he'd ever administered. Marik's hand felt warm against his already flushed cheek, but Bakura unconsciously leaned into his hand. After some time, his own hand came up to hold Marik's gently. Closing his eyes, Bakura allowed himself to melt into the tenderness. Just for a minute.

He could somewhat forget about the pain, desire for vengeance, and just let himself enjoy actual human intimacy. Something he'd been robbed of five-thousand years ago. Now here it was in the most unexpected of ways and times. Bakura felt his lips quirk upward as he relished the tenderness.

Opening his eyes, he looked up to see Marik leaning down and then kissing his forehead after brushing his bangs aside with his nose.

“You know, for someone who was trying to protest, you sure are very keen.” Marik said softly, giving a chuckle.

A pout formed at Bakura's lips as he averted his eyes. “How dare you.”

“Only giving you what you wanted.” Marik smirked, kissing his nose. “Might as well have a little fun.”

“Shut up.” Bakura argued half-heartedly, looking back up at his partner.

Laughing, Marik just stroked Bakura's hair and hummed. “I could get used to this.”

A mild tremor coursed through Bakura as he knew, deep down, it couldn't be for long. But these cursed desires, emotions and feelings were refusing to let up. He'd been afraid of this. Afraid of letting himself feel this way. Only for it to be stripped away violently. Just like before.

“I wouldn't if I were you.” Bakura murmured, leaning into Marik's neck. He nuzzled the soft, warm skin there, and took in his scent.

Marik didn't reply for a moment. He kept stroking Bakura's hair, drawing him a little closer as he nuzzled into his forehead. Then, with an undertone of regret, Marik murmured, “Yeah.”

It was all they could say for the time being. They knew. Maybe not with details of the future, maybe not with clear answers, but somehow, this wouldn't last. It hurt. Bakura hated to admit that it hurt. But he held to Marik tightly, as if afraid he'd disappear if he let go.

Squeezing, Bakura squeezed his eyes shut and took in his partner's scent. The wonderful feel of his body. The intimacy. The feel of him. Everything.

The tension eased, though not by much, and they just remained this way for some time. If it were possible to stay like this forever, cuddled beneath Marik in his arms, Bakura would take it. He hated feeling this way, but Gods was it lovely.

Relaxing a little, Bakura nuzzled his nose into Marik's neck. “I'll get you for this.” He muttered with absolutely no heat behind it.

“I'm sure you will.” Marik chuckled.

“I won't have you distract me.”

“Looks like I already did.”

“Next time I won't be so receptive.”

“So, what you're saying is, there _will_ be a next time?”

Bakura frowned, still holding tightly to him and refusing to let go. “I hate you.”

Unfazed, Marik kissed the bridge of his nose and smirked. “Keep telling yourself that, _partner_ ~” He purred in a sing-song way.

* * *

The contestants of the Battle City semi-finals were soon called to the main deck. It was around then that they'd finally put their clothes back on and fixed themselves up to look less ragged from sex.

Bakura waited a few moments and made sure the Millennium Ring was hidden for the time being. It was still hard to believe this had all happened. A part of him couldn't help wondering if it had all been a dream at first. But given Marik's account on having encountered his alternate self, it clearly wasn't a dream.

And now this.

Well, he would have time to ruminate on this later. It was time to make everyone believe he was Ryou and be ready for when he'd eventually duel. Time to put all the idiocy and intimacy behind him. Taking his duel disk, he slipped it onto his arm and made sure his deck was secured. Ensuring the Millennium Ring would be hidden from sight, he headed to the door, where Marik was waiting.

“You sure you can handle this?” Marik teased, raising an eyebrow.

Bakura glared, pursing his lips. “I don't know what you take me for, but I've had to act like my host in front of them many times. In fact, one time I did so was when I had to sever the mind control you had on Bandit Keith and ensure Yugi retrieved all the pieces of the Millennium Puzzle. They're usually none the wiser.”

Marik's eyes went wide and then they narrowed dangerously. Bakura chuckled and smirked, glad to have had a moment to wind him up a bit.

“Let's go then, shall we?” Bakura purred, reaching for the button that would open the door. He jolted when feeling a hand squeezing his rear and let out a surprised squawk.

“I guess I can't be too iffy about that.” Marik purred, lidding his eyes. “We did end up finding each other, after all.”


	6. Bonus Bonus Bonus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys! Here's the bonus I mentioned previously! It completely got away from me, as you can probably tell. My original intent was having the Mariks meet through magic bullshit plot hole logic. Then I thought, how fun would it be if the Bakuras joined in, so that all four of them encountered? Perfect, right? Bringing it around full circle?
> 
> Well, then the last bit happened too! It became its own thing to add on to everything that's happened. I was vastly inspired by Little Kuriboh there, not just for this story as a whole, but the last part in particular too. I was also inspired by "A Way Home" by sitathebel, ChaosRocket and Supersteffy which was an abridged fic where Marik and Bakura go to different fanfic universes! What a fun time that was! ;)
> 
> So anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this! Thank you SO much for your support and love of this story. It was such a fun thing to do and I really enjoyed writing it. So really, this part is for you guys.

* * *

Was it a mirror? Since when were there mirrors? And why were they here? Where were they? These questions and many others were being inwardly asked as two identical figures regarded each other with surprise and confusion.

One raised a hand, as did the other, but weren't completely in sync.

But then, one of them spoke.

“Frig, mirrors can be slow, too?! Or am I looking at a screen with a webcam feed? That would explain the delay! Wait, why am I talking but my feed isn't? Wow, that's a really slow delay if it isn't even catching up to my speaking! Helloooo? Camera, I'm talking now!”

The other standing directly across from him was stunned and staring at him, mouth open in shock.

“Oh my RA!” The same Marik exclaimed, as if taken aback. “I'm GORGEOUS!”

The other Marik actually took a step back, his face twisted in utmost disgust and confusion.

“What the _hell_ are you even-” The shocked Marik began.

“HOLY FRIG my reflection can talk without me doing it?!” The other Marik cried in horror. “Oh no it's like in that shitty third Poltergeist movie with all those mirrors! Where's that super short lady with the necklace?! Only she can save me from the preacher Kane!”

It became clear as Canon Marik took in the way his other self was acting. Oh Gods, somehow, some way, he was meeting his own other self. Abridged Marik, it seemed. Given the descriptions on the accounts of both his own Bakura and the alternate Bakura, this was worse than he'd imagined.

“I'm not your reflection!” Canon Marik burst out, mostly due to the fact that he had no idea what else he could say.

“Wait, you're not?” Abridged Marik stopped in his tirade and stared at him. Then he squinted, as if scrutinizing him. “Then what the frig is this? Am I dreaming? That would make no sense because then I'd be at a white sandy beach like in those James Bond movies! And there'd be all kinds of beautiful girls in bikinis! All clamouring over me because of how gorgeous and sexy I am! Oh and Bakura would be there too, but he's so pale that he'd probably just sit under the umbrella! And I'd say to him 'Hey Bakura come out and do some fun beach stuff with me!' And then he'd say, 'Bloody hell Marik, you know the sun isn't good for my skin!' and all that stuff! Then of course I'd offer to put sunscreen on for him since he can't reach his back! And then I'd have him do me, except with tanning lotion!”

Canon Marik cringed so, so hard. As hilarious and ridiculous as such a visual was, admittedly, he couldn't believe he was hearing it. From someone who was supposed to be himself. Gods, his voice was completely unlike his own! High-pitched and squeaky, also ridiculous. At least both Bakuras sounded similar enough, even if Abridged Bakura's voice was slightly gruffer.

“Would you stop that?!” Canon Marik commanded, earning a surprised look from his counterpart. “Look, do you even know what happened? The Bakura from my universe and yours switched places.”

“Oh, right! I remember that!” Abridged Marik chirped, then made a face. “Your Bakura was weird and had a stick up his butt! I thought he was losing his memory or something! And why did his accent keep disappearing? That was really weird! Still sexy, though.”

“So you do know about it, good.” Canon Marik sighed in relief, not sure how he was going to get around to explaining it. “Look, I don't know how this happened either, but it looks like we're in the same plane of existence.”

Abridged Marik looked all around them. It was a vast, empty void, with no telling where the floor ended and surrounding walls began. Almost like Bakura's soul room. There was no feeling or temperature, it was just, this.

“Where the frig are we?” Abridged Marik asked.

“I don't know anymore than you do.” Canon Marik replied. “But it looks like we're both here.”

“Wow! So I really am meeting my canon self!” Abridged Marik went over to him, grinning. “You really do look just like me! Or do I look like you? Or is it both? Oooh, turn around! I want to see if your butt looks like mine, too!”

Canon Marik made a face and took a step back. “What are you even on about? By the sounds of it, of course we look the same. Both of our Bakuras look the same, so I don't see why we wouldn't.”

“You never know! There could be subtle differences!” Abridged Marik said, looking him up and down curiously. “Same pants, same shirt, shoes, hair, skin... Yeah, you check out so far!”

“Could you stop?” Canon Marik hissed through gritted teeth. “I never deny that I'm very attractive and turn heads all the time, but you're just taking it to a new level.”

“There is no level cap when it comes to gorgeousness! Especially like ours!” Abridged Marik declared with a huge grin. “Come on, Other Me! Don't be such a downer! We could be like super sexy twins posing for those magazines!”

How was this even possible? Yes, Abridged Bakura was slightly different in a few subtle ways, but they were more or less similar enough that they could pass off for each other relatively effectively. This, however, was practically a one-eighty. Was it even possible to be this bouncy, to be this _dumb_?

“Although, if we were twins, we wouldn't have the same name!” Abridged Marik continued, unabated. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Oh! Your Bakura told me that stupid name you came up with! Seriously, what the hell was that? It was dumb! As if I'd ever have a stupid name like that! What was it again? Never mind, I can think of a better one! We'll be Marik and...” He thought for a moment, then snapped his fingers. “Todd! I know our names aren't twin names but it works!”

Still taken aback, Canon Marik just pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to regain his composure. There was something so weird about this. A part of him couldn't help envying the way his other self was so carefree and cheerful. Over the smallest, dumbest things. It was irritating, yet, Canon Marik felt strangely drawn in.

It shouldn't have been this hard to understand. This was his alternate self, who was still essentially him. Yet something about trying to unravel the other him was proving tough. The closest he came to was childish.

“Okay, time out.” Canon Marik said evenly.

“Time out?” Abridged Marik parroted, confused. “But we weren't even playing a game! Oh wait, is this one of those moments where I'm playing a game and I didn't even know it? Like this one time I found Bakura in the hallway closet after I didn't see him for a while! Apparently, we were playing hide and seek! He was hiding and I seeked him! I won and I didn't even know I was playing! I know he said that he was just looking for one of his knives, but I still won!”

Admittedly, the visual of that idea was funny. Canon Marik couldn't help chuckling before growing serious again.

“Cute. Anyway, I'm just trying to understand everything here.” Canon Marik replied. “What are your goals, anyway?”

Abridged Marik looked at him with befuddlement. That was another thing, too. He couldn't help noticing that his alternate self had a fairly vacuous and dopey look to his face. Even his eyes were either gleaming with excitement or full of confusion as he apparently tried to process everything.

“Is that a trick question?” Abridged Marik asked, tilting his head.

“No.” Canon Marik confirmed. “If you're an alternate version of me, you must be after the same things I am.”

Abridged Marik grinned brightly. “To be the sexiest, most evil and awesome villain ever, of course! I want revenge on the Pharaoh and to make him pay! I grew up a tomb keeper and had to endure the worst pain of all! They forced me to watch a crappy live-action Disney movie! Curse you, _Beverly Hills Chihuahua_! It was the worst Jamie-Lee Curtis movie since _Christmas With The Kranks_! Oh and I also have scars carved into my back, which hurt like hell and was pure torture! But it does make a sweet tattoo! The dudes love it! I mean ladies. Ladies is what I meant!”

“O...Kay?” Was all Canon Marik could say in pure awe. Only part of that was correct and he had no idea how he could even question the way his alternate self's version of the past occurred. “Well at least not everything changed.”

“Yep! Now me and Bakura like to try finding ways to get revenge!” Abridged Marik went on. “I come up with all kinds of schemes and we run the Evil Council of Doom!”

“Evil... Council of Doom?” Canon Marik parroted, not even sure if he heard this correctly. “What even _is_ that?”

“Oh, that's easy! It's a council that consists of the villains from the show!” Abridged Marik replied as if it were the most obvious thing. “We've got Pegasus, Rex and Weevil, Steve Luna, Steve Umbris, Zorc, that evil Teddy bear... It's a pretty sweet gig! Me and Bakura hold meetings sometimes! Well, I know I started it and all, but it's not just mine. It's ours! Him and me!” His smile grew surprisingly tender.

Okay, he didn't even know who any of those people were or even why they seemed to be consorting with “villains”, so to speak. But what caught his attention was the look on his face, the tone of his voice. It looked like the fact that they both shared an attraction toward Bakura was true.

“Well, that's another thing we both do.” Canon Marik remarked. “We're partnered with our respective Bakuras.”

“Yep! We're BFF's!” Abridged Marik said with glee. “Best Friends Forever! Or maybe it should be Best Villain Friends Forever? But BVFF doesn't sound nearly as catchy! But anyway, I knew that my sexiness and his Britishness meant we would be unstoppable!”

Canon Marik scoffed, waving it off. “Weird way to put it, but okay. But he's a pretty valuable asset, isn't he?”

“Of course! We do everything together!” Abridged Marik declared with a smile. “It's no fun doing a lot of things alone, so he's there to make it better and much more evil! Two of a kind!”

“I can't argue with that. It's better to have people around to do your bidding, anyway.” Canon Marik said as he paced a little, more just to move around and keep his sanity in check. “And once I accomplish my mission, he'll get what he's after.”

“Sweet, sweet revenge on the Pharaoh!” Abridged Marik put in. “And killing him! Somehow! I don't know, it's kind of confusing because 4Kids would just censor it, but we'll find a way to torment him and Yugi!”

“Of course.” Canon Marik laughed, twirling the Millennium Rod around in his hand. He decided to ignore the stranger part of his counterpart's statement, it probably wasn't important anyway. “You don't have to keep secrets. You're me, and I'm you. We can talk candidly, can't we?” Canon Marik cajoled, bringing his arms behind his back in a decidedly innocent manner. “I usually don't, so consider yourself lucky.”

“I'm an open book!” Abridged Marik declared with pride. “Although, Bakura says I'm hard to read! I don't know what he means by that since I'm not a book!”

“I see.” Canon Marik chuckled. “You know, our Bakuras are pretty similar, aren't they? They both ultimately want the same goals and everything.”

“Kinda!” Abridged Marik shrugged a little, looking uncertain. “But yours is weird! I like mine better, no offense!”

Canon Marik snickered, turning to face his other self. “Oh, you do, do you? Well, I guess I can't blame you. I liked yours just fine, even if we argued a little. In fact, he liked me, too.”

“Huh?” Abridged Marik was taken aback by this. “Well, yeah, he got along with you since you're me!”

“Is that what he told you? Guess he didn't tell you the part about how he kept staring at me?”

“No? But he does that to me too, all the time.”

Letting out a cackle, Canon Marik shook his head and placed a hand on his hip. “Wow, he was right... Well, let me put it this way. He kept staring at me with hunger in his eyes, like I was a slice of delicious meat and he was a starving snow leopard.”

Disgust overcame Abridged Marik's face immediately. “What?! Is he a cannibal?! Sweet mama jama, is that why his favourite movie is _Cannibal Holocaust_?! Frig, I didn't even know! Ewwwww! So that means he kills his victims and eats them! It's just like in that movie _Sweeney Todd_ where they killed people and turned them into pies! What if he kept feeding me people?! Ew ew ew ew! Great, if Hannibal Lector existed, they'd be best friends and trade tips!”

Mirth faded, Canon Marik groaned and facepalmed. How was it possible that someone could be this stupid? Let alone his own counterpart? This was insane. He wasn't capable of being this dimwitted! He took a breath and faced his alternate self with a stern look.

“No, you idiot! I didn't mean it like that!” Canon Marik yelled. “Jeez, do you listen to yourself when you talk?! I meant he found me attractive.”

Abridged Marik blinked, stared at him blankly, then sighed with relief. “Ohhh, that's what you meant! Well duh, of course! You and I get that a lot where someone looks at us and see how sexy we are!”

Oh Gods, was this childish, immature, vapid fool really his counterpart? All Canon Marik could do was stare at him, completely dumbfounded and at a loss for words. Was it the lack of filter? He didn't exactly have a strong filter himself, but he had a pretty good grasp on how to act. Great, he was going to age exponentially after this.

“Wow, so it's true. You have no idea...” Canon Marik muttered, rubbing his temples. “Okay, champ, listen up. He _wants_ you.”

“Wants me to what?” Abridged Marik asked.

Eye twitching, Canon Marik regained his composure and just stared him down. Which was hard since they were, by definition, the same person and the same height. “For crying out loud. Bakura _wants you_. He wants to sleep with you.”

Now it looked like Abridged Marik got the message. “Ohhhhhh! That's what you meant!”

Heaving a sigh of relief, Canon Marik nodded. “Yes, that's what I meant. Before your Bakura realized what was going on, he just thought I was you. I'm not sure _how_ that's possible, but that's what happened. And because he's attracted to you, it's only natural.”

“Well not going to happen, because I'm not gay and way out of his league! I know the fangirls like it but I'm not gay!” Abridged Marik muttered, but there was something in his tone that didn't quite match his words. Even the look in his eyes was strangely conflicting.

“Out of his league?” Canon Marik mused, chuckling at all this. “Maybe that's true, but it sure didn't bother or stop me. He's still attractive.”

“I didn't even know he felt that way about me! I know I kissed him one time, but that was one time! And it wasn't gay!” Abridged Marik cried, flailing his arms as if trying to play charades. “It was because I thought your Bakura was my Bakura and was having short-term memory loss and needed a kiss to break the spell or something! But it wasn't mine, it was yours! So my Bakura said we should solve the problem and I did! It wasn't gay! He said so!”

Canon Marik burst out laughing, recalling how his Bakura had shared the fact that Abridged Marik used fairy tale logic to kiss him. To think it was rectified later was a pretty funny thought.

“Stop laughing at me!” Abridged Marik pouted, looking like a child who'd gotten his toys taken away from him. “It's not funny!”

Although obliging, Canon Marik couldn't keep the grin off his face. “Are you kidding? This is hilarious. Wow. Okay champ, you're going to have to listen up right here. I'll break it down for you. Your Bakura, who is attracted to you, suggested that you kiss him, to call it even, I guess. And you agreed to it.”

It was hilarious to wind up Abridged Marik like this, even if it also served to prove how immature he was. But if Canon Marik was going to get back at him a little, why not have a bit of fun?

Abridged Marik's countenance was defiant and he looked away, folding his arms over his chest. “I told you why it happened!”

“Well, did you like it?” Canon Marik pressed, his smirk widening.

Sure enough, a faint blush formed on Abridged Marik's cheeks. “Okay fine, yes! He was good! Very keen, too.”

“Of course he was, he wanted you to.” Canon Marik pointed out smugly. He snickered and shook his head.

“It still doesn't make me gay!” Abridged Marik said shrilly, still not looking at him. “He's just a good kisser! Your Bakura was a frozen statue the whole time! Might as well have been kissing a pillow!”

This made Canon Marik laugh a bit at the visual of it. “Really? That's funny, he sure as hell wasn't a frozen statue when I kissed him.”

Attention caught, Abridged Marik looked at him with wide eyes. “Wait, what?”

“You heard me.” Canon Marik smirked.

“Oh... I get it! Because he wanted to do the same thing, right?” Abridged Marik said, looking a bit nervous as his eyes darted about. “Because I did it, so he wanted you, the other me, to do it instead to make it even?”

Laughing, Canon Marik smirked widely and shook his head. “No way, champ. Like I said, I kissed him. Several times, actually.”

“...What?” Abridged Marik stared at him as though he had no idea what he was looking at.

“Yes, I kissed him a whole lot. We did a lot more than that, too.” Canon Marik purred as he walked about a little, keeping an eye on his counterpart, who watched him with wide eyes. “We also slept together.”

“What?!” Abridged Marik squeaked, taking a step back and stared at him like he'd grown a second head. “You had sex?! Does that mean _you're_ gay?!”

Giving a shrug, Canon Marik continued toying with the Millennium Rod and looked at his counterpart smugly. “I don't know, honestly. I never really thought about my sexuality. But it doesn't matter. I'm attracted to him and I wanted to sleep with him, so why bother worrying about whether or not I'm gay?”

“But it's like something out of my yaoi comics!” Abridged Marik exclaimed with horror. “That's so gay!”

Although he had no idea what Abridged Marik was talking about, Canon Marik let it slide. “I get it, you're panicking because of what it might imply about you, huh? Don't worry too much about it, champ. Just do what you want.”

“Oh frig, that means you guys are boyfriends now!” Abridged Marik cried, looking worried.

“...Boyfriends?” Canon Marik snorted derisively. “Don't be ridiculous. It's nothing like that. Just because we're attracted to each other and had sex doesn't make it a relationship. We don't have time for that. We're partners, that's it.”

Now Abridged Marik looked surprised. “You mean, you don't love him? I know it's something the good guys like to say but it's close enough!”

“Love?” Canon Marik spat as he made a face and then shook his head. He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. “How naive are you? It's not love. It was attraction.”

Abridged Marik just stared at him, his expression either blank and confused, or trying to figure this out. He furrowed his brow and wrinkled his nose, biting his lip.

Exhaling, Canon Marik looked back at his other self and smirked a little. “But I'll tell you another thing. Your Bakura, I realized he was attracted to me, therefore you, and I knew I could use that. It's just too bad he didn't stick around, I could've had _so much fun_ with him. Riling him up and making him beg for it...” He chuckled and licked his lips. “Can you imagine? He wasn't getting it from you, so he would've gotten it from me. I could've turned him into a begging puppy...”

“Um...” Abridged Marik mumbled, his expression unreadable.

Canon Marik snickered and went on. “But that's okay. It still put things into perspective for me, anyway. I figured that my Bakura had to feel similarly. Turns out, I was right. He wanted me, too. Don't get me wrong, I thought he was cute the first time I saw him. I just didn't think too hard about it at first and tried to turn away the idea. But afterward, I thought about it, and accepted it. Then I knew I could use that to my advantage. I wanted him too, so it was mutually beneficial. It's perfect, honestly. Because of how much he wants me, I can give it to him and maintain control.”

It was silent for a few seconds, which was surprising, as Canon Marik could now see that Abridged Marik liked to talk. All the time. Looked like he finally stumped him a little. With a shrug, he slipped the Millennium Rod through his belt and turned to his counterpart.

“So... you slept with him so he'll keep doing stuff for you?” Abridged Marik said, his tone uncertain.

“Pretty much.” Canon Marik smirked, folding his arms over his chest. “He wanted me, I wanted him, and I'm the one in control. While I can't fulfill my end of the bargain yet, I figured I could compensate him, anyway. I do what it takes to get what I'm after.”

Once more Abridged Marik was just staring at him, probably trying to process all of that.

“You look surprised. But I guess I can't blame you for not thinking of it before.” Canon Marik gave a chuckle, winking at him. “Might be something to try, don't you think? He wants you, and he wants it bad, I could tell. You give him what he wants and he'll do anything you say.”

“But he already does.” Abridged Marik pointed out, biting his lip.

“It's just a suggestion.” Canon Marik shrugged his shoulders.

“I don't know, that would make him upset if he knew it was all a lie.” Abridged Marik said with a frown.

“What do you take me for, an idiot? I'm not saying you should lie to him about it. Just make it clear it's nothing more than fun.”

“I'm not even gay!”

There he went again with the denial, but Canon Marik decided not to remark on it directly. “What if he were female? Would that be better?”

“Bakura, a smelly girl?” Abridged Marik wrinkled his nose in disgust. “He already said that and I don't know if I want it! Some girls are just smelly! I don't want Bakura to change, I like him how he is!”

His abridged counterpart made no sense. But that was an understatement. Canon Marik sighed and kept rubbing his temples. Trying to get through seemed to be about as effective as talking to a brick wall. Heck, talking to a brick wall might have ended up being more productive.

“Well, your loss then.” Canon Marik murmured, letting his mind wander to something far more appetizing to think of. “You'll miss out on the sounds he makes and the way he'll just _beg_ for more. I bet you'd love it.”

This seemed to catch Abridged Marik's attention and his cheeks went slightly pink again. Canon Marik smirked and chuckled darkly. Not that he really did care about what his counterpart would get up in his universe, but it was fun to plant some ideas into his head and see him squirm.

“Was he good?” Abridged Marik queried, looking nonchalant, but the curiosity was clear as day.

“You bet he was, champ. My Bakura's a great lover, but I don't see why yours wouldn't be, too.” Canon Marik purred, winking. “Unravelling him and exposing him for what he really is felt like power I'd never had before. Let's just say it was a great time.”

Abridged Marik looked a mix of befuddled and yet very intrigued. Especially judging by the darkening blush on his cheeks. Canon Marik watched him carefully for a few moments, wishing that he had some idea of what was going on his other self's head. It should've been easy, since this was his other self, but Canon Marik wasn't sure if one option was more likely than another.

Noticing movement at the corner of his eye, Marik turned and caught sight of Bakura now floating down toward them and then landing on the presumed floor. It was just impossible to tell _which_ Bakura it was. But of course there was no way he'd be able to tell which Marik was which based on sight alone.

It was Abridged Marik who broke the silence, somehow unsurprisingly. “Hey, Bakura! Wait, which one are you? Are you my Bakura or the other one? You know, the one who's weird?”

“Weird, am I?” Bakura looked at him and sneered, “Well, at least now I can tell you both apart.” He looked at Canon Marik and walked over toward him.

“And now I know it's _you_.” Canon Marik greeted with a smirk.

Canon Marik then brought his hand to Canon Bakura's hair, raking his fingers through it, and then stopped at the back of his head. Pulling him in close, he winked at his counterpart. The look of sheer surprise on Canon Bakura's face was priceless as Canon Marik pulled him in for a searing kiss. Of course, it didn't take long for his partner to kiss back with just as much fervour.

“Jeez! Get a frigging room, you guys!” Abridged Marik cried, sounding like a child witnessing his parents being affectionate.

For his part, Abridged Marik didn't know where to look. He wanted to look away, but his eyes refused to move from the incredible display before him. Especially as the seconds ticked by and the canon counterparts _didn't stop_. It was almost as if they forgot he was even there.

Stomach fluttering and heart racing, Abridged Marik could only watch in pure awe. It reminded him greatly of all the Thiefshipping fanart he'd saved in a folder on his computer. A lot of them did indeed contain them kissing. Now he was seeing it in live-action, high definition, full surround sound, even.

By now, Canon Marik had pulled Canon Bakura closer, their bodies very close together. Their kisses were languid and yet unrelenting. Every now and again one or both their tongues appeared. Interestingly, Canon Bakura's hands were carefully positioned along Canon Marik's shoulders, trying not to touch certain areas of his back. How _thoughtful_!

It was making Abridged Marik uncomfortable. But not in the way anyone would first assume. Watching himself doing something like this was _hot_. But even better was seeing himself sharing it with Bakura, creating such a perfect image.

Now with all this newfound knowledge, it wasn't helping at all.

Swallowing hard, Abridged Marik watched with rapt attention as the two parted, and just stared at each other. Although it only lasted a few seconds at most, it felt like an eternity. At least the sight of Canon Bakura _blushing_ bright red was cute and pretty funny. He'd had his share of seeing his own Bakura blushing many times, but it never failed to be funny.

Seeming to remember they had an audience, Canon Marik turned to Abridged Marik and chuckled, bringing an arm around Canon Bakura's shoulders. The thief in question huffed and looked away, but made no move to discourage him.

“Sorry, couldn't resist.” Canon Marik said airily, not looking or sounding the least bit sorry.

“Did we _really_ have to do that? In front of him?” Canon Bakura hissed in irritation.

“And have him miss out? I don't think so.” Canon Marik sneered, winking at him. “All you had to do was stop me, but you didn't.”

Eyes flaring, Canon Bakura huffed and looked away again. Laughing, Canon Marik tightened his hold and brought him closer. He looked at Abridged Marik with a sardonic smile.

Before Abridged Marik could say anything, an ever-familiar voice cut in from close by. Immediately, he bristled.

“Marik, what the devil is going on around he- _Ohhh._ ”

Turning to his left, Abridged Marik heaved a sigh as he saw Abridged Bakura approaching them. His eyes were settled on their canon counterparts, eyeing both of them with surprise.

“Well hi there. Nice of you to join us, _Bakura_.” Canon Marik greeted with a bit more flirtatiousness in his tone than probably necessary.

Hilariously, Canon Bakura visibly bristled and then curled an arm around Canon Marik's waist.

Deciding to settle on being relieved, Abridged Marik closed the distance between himself and _his_ Bakura quickly. “Hey Bakura, there you are! At least I don't have to worry about telling you both apart!”

“Huh. I see you two actually met.” Abridged Bakura remarked, looking from one Marik to the other. “I'm surprised nothing exploded.”

“I know, right? Since we're both so sexy, I can't believe this astral plane of existence or whatever this is can contain us!” Abridged Marik exclaimed, all the more glad for the distraction. “But now all four of us are here, that just makes it even sexier!”

“...Sure. Let's go with that.” Abridged Bakura sighed, rolling his eyes. He looked at Canon Marik and Bakura, as if studying them. “I suppose neither of you know as to why we're all here?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Canon Bakura replied, looking about with a frown. “I could sense something going on within my soul room and wanted to investigate.”

“I did, too.” Abridged Bakura said, shuffling his feet and shoving his hands in his pockets.

“I have no idea!” Abridged Marik said with a pout. “One minute I'm asleep and now I'm here! Ooh, I must be dreaming! But if this a dream, where are's the big awesome palace? With me sitting on the throne, being doted on by servants while I relish as the new Egyptian Pharaoh?”

“Oooh.” Abridged Bakura smirked, sidling closer to Abridged Marik's side. “I do like the sound of your dream, Marik. Might I ask where I come in?”

“Huh?” Abridged Marik looked at him, feeling as though he'd just remembered his presence. “Oh, right! You'd be one of my servants too, Bakura.”

“I was thinking of a _different_ position, actually.” Abridged Bakura shrugged.

Canon Marik chuckled and nodded with approval. “For once, we agree on something, other me. That sounds delightful.”

“I think it would be even _more_ delightful if _I_ were the one on that throne.” Canon Bakura purred, his eyes gleaming. “Taking the Pharaoh's place on the throne would be incredible.”

Abridged Bakura's sinister grin widened. “Yes. Especially after I kill him. All of Egypt would have no choice but to bow down to the one who could do what no other was able to. I would hold his corpse aloft for all of them to see before tossing it into a burning pyre. Then I would sit upon the throne in his garb, looking quite dapper.”

“I can't say I'm surprised that you would think the same way I would, but regardless, I do like the way you think.” Said Canon Bakura, looking just as sinister. “It would be the dawning of a new era for all of Egypt. And never mind his little court, we would ensure that they would be stripped of the Millennium Items, leaving them defenceless.”

“Oh, undoubtedly. I could take care of them myself, especially if they're defenceless.” Abridged Bakura gave a dark chuckle. “But perhaps I might be sneaky about it, for the allure of concealed murder.”

Of course this now led to both Bakuras sharing notes and ideas about what they would do had they been able to successfully murder the Pharaoh back in the day. Abridged Marik was amused and just enjoyed watching his Bakura talked animatedly about his plans to kill people. It was just nice to see his eyes light up and his tone take on something that's a modicum of happy. Even Canon Marik's eyes sparkled with glee as they listened to their partners.

After a while, Canon Marik then rubbed his partner's arm suggestively, earning an a confused stare, but with made no attempt to stop him.

“So, you're saying you'd be the authoritative Pharaoh by day, but then at night, the subjugated lover to your _favourite servant_?” Canon Marik asked, his tone suggestive.

Canon Bakura let out a huff and resembled that of a child being told by his parents to stop fooling around. “We are _not_ discussing that.”

“Why? Too embarrassed by the idea, especially in front of our counterparts?” Canon Marik laughed. He slung an arm around his partner's shoulders, bringing him closer. “I mean, sure, I'd prefer to be the Pharaoh, but I don't see too much of a downside with your version either.”

Snorting, Canon Bakura looked away. “Well of course not, I know my plan would be brilliant.”

“I want to be the Pharaoh for sure! I'd put gold statues of me all over the city! They'd all be in different positions! Like one would be me mooning people, another one is me lying suggestively to entice all the girls... Ooh! Another one could be of me doing some cool poses from movies! Too bad lightsabers weren't invented back then!” Abridged Marik chimed in giddily.

“Marik, that sounds ridiculous and unnecessary.” Abridged Bakura said, rolling his eyes. “And if either of us are going to be the Pharaoh, that's going to be me.”

Abridged Marik stuck his tongue out petulantly. “Nuh-uh, you and I both know that I would be the Pharaoh!”

It was Canon Bakura who laughed and responded, “Oh, really? So you would want to be saddled with all the work and effort that it takes to be the Pharaoh? As much as I may agree about how amazing it would be, I don't have disillusions that it's all sitting on the throne and ordering people around. There's far more work to it than just that.”

Pouting a little Abridged Marik kicked at the floor. “I didn't ask you, Other Bakura! I know there's more to it than that, I'm not stupid!”

“Could've fooled me.” Abridged Bakura sneered.

“Indeed.” Canon Bakura chuckled.

“Shut up! I get enough of that from my Bakura every day, I don't need it from you!” Abridged Marik yelled in a huff.

Canon Marik grinned wickedly, “What's wrong, other me? Too much for you?”

“Hey, shut up! You don't know me!” Abridged Marik shot back, clencing his fists. Why did he always have to be subjected to this stupid teasing? It kind of hurt.

“Marik, he _is_ you.” Abridged Bakura pointed out. “He knows everything about you!”

Huffing, Abridged Marik looked downward, then glanced at his canon counterpart, who winked at him. This wasn't fair. He got laughed at by everyone. By the Evil Council. By his Bakura. By the other Bakura. And now his other self. What did he have to do in order to be taken seriously? The only person who did was Odion, but that was because it was his brother and henchman, right?

“Silence! Just shut up! All of you! Laughing at me isn't going to make this any easier! You!” He pointed at Canon Bakura, who rose an eyebrow. “Shut up and quit being so suave! 'Oooh, look at me, I'm Bakura and I'm trying to be a tall, handsome stranger! Even though I look like a pretty boy creampuff!' You're a frigging dork and you know it! 'Oohh I'm soooo smooth and awesome!' Hey! Hey! I see you rolling your eyes! Stop it! You make bad puns and expect everyone to laugh! I'm surprised you're not doing stand-up comedy!”

Canon Bakura just stared, his expression unreadable. Canon Marik was laughing a bit behind his hand, clearly loving this. Abridged Bakura meanwhile was just staring, wide-eyed and confused.

“And you, other me! You're incredibly sexy and capture me perfectly-”

“More like _you_ capture _my_ appearance, but go on.”

“SILENCE!” Abridged Marik yelled, causing all three of them to jump. “I'm not finished with you! You're just standing there thinking you're better than all of us here, aren't you? Well frig off because you're still me! We're equal! Frigging equals, other me! That's what we are! You can't even have a little fun, can you? Oh no, of course not! Fun doesn't mean you can't still do some evil plans! I want to overthrow the Pharaoh, but if I want to take Bakura with me on a trip to Disney World, I should be able to! Stop being so serious! Both of you! You don't need sticks up your butts!”

Glaring, Canon Marik opened his mouth, “Will you stop-”

“I said _SILENCE_!” Abridged Marik cut him off. “You're me! I'm you! You can be fun and not worry so much about it, you know you can! So quit calling me a fool or stupid just because I want to watch _The Golden Girls_ while I make some evil plans!”

“You're nothing but a blathering fool who never grew up!” Canon Marik shot back, narrowing his eyes. “You're immature and simple-minded and incredibly childish! It's practically insulting for you to be my counterpart! Don't you come off on me for the way I do things, you brat!”

“Takes one to know one, Mister-Stick-Up-His-Sexy-Butt!” Abridged Marik yelled, taking a step closer.

“Now you're name-calling, how mature!” Canon Marik spat, clenching his fists. “You're pathetic and it's no wonder your plans must end up failing, you're nothing but a child trying to act like a Saturday Morning cartoon villain! Oh yes, I know about those now!”

“Shut the frig up!” Abridged Marik seethed, panting through his teeth. “You're no better!”

“I'm far more competent than you are, you buffoon! Situations happened out of my control!”

“No, that's just Yugi's Main Character Powers!”

“What the hell does that even mean?!”

“And you call _me_ stupid?! Get a frigging clue, Yugi and the Pharaoh are the main characters and King of Card Games, of course they're going to win!”

“Why do you two always spout that stupid nonsense, I thought you said this was an abridged universe, not an _idiot_ universe!”

“ _ENOUGH!_ ” Came twin shouts.

Both Mariks turned, stunned, now seeing both Bakuras staring them down.

“Will you two stop with this childish bickering?!” Abridged Bakura stormed over, grabbing Abridged Marik and pulling him back. “This is getting us nowhere!”

“Honestly, both of you are childish and immature!” Canon Bakura agreed, pulling Canon Marik away as well. “This is embarrassing and I'm thankful no one else is around to see this.”

“Agreed.” Abridged Bakura said. “So, if we're done acting like children, we can take some time to get out of here. Our worlds colliding can't be a good sign.”

Canon Bakura shook his head, “We don't know anything it entails, but perhaps you're on to something.”

Huffing, Canon Marik pulled away, “And what right do you both have trying to order us around?”

“I'm _not your bitch_!” Canon Bakura yelled in frustration, causing all of them to stare in shock. “Stop treating me like one! I work _with you_ , not _for_ you! Had that been the arrangement, I would have stolen the Millennium Rod and ran away when I had the chance! We work together as equals! I have done what I could to fulfill my end of the bargain and yet you keep changing plans on me and then trying to ridicule my strategies! If we're going to work together, you're going to need to stop acting like I'm one of your Rare Hunters and remember that I'm your _partner_!”

Canon Marik stared at him, wide-eyed and stunned. He seemed to be trying to process all of this while his hands clenched and unclenched periodically. Meanwhile, Canon Bakura just looked at him expectantly, arms folded and stance guarded.

Admittedly, Abridged Marik was speechless, which he knew was completely unlike himself. But what could he do when such a strange moment was unfolding before his eyes? It was kind of fascinating. He glanced at his Bakura, who seemed just as taken aback, but was entranced. Abridged Bakura looked at him as if to say he had no idea, then turned his attention to their canon counterparts.

“What are you expecting me to do? Get on my knees and grovel?” Canon Marik finally said as he seemed to recover from shock.

“As appealing as that would be, no.” Canon Bakura shook his head, still staring him down, despite being a couple of centimetres shorter. “I just want you to acknowledge that we're partners.”

“Fine, okay. You've made your point.” Canon Marik sighed, placing his hands on his hips. “I do what I do so that we can get what we're after and I know how to get things done. I need you to understand all of that.”

“You have your methods and I have mine.” Canon Bakura stated, stepping closer to him. “We're going to accomplish the same goal and _will_ reach it, it shouldn't matter how either of us go about it. Just that we get things done. And I've gotten things done, haven't I?”

Looking away, seeming to forget they had an audience, Canon Marik huffed, but softened considerably. “Yeah, you have.”

“Exactly.” Canon Bakura gave a self-satisfied smirk. “So are you going to stop treating me like I'm a dog and instead recognize me as your equal?”

“You know how I am, Bakura.” Canon Marik hissed, his cheeks flushed with what was presumed to be embarrassment. “Don't make me say it.”

“Say what?” Canon Bakura purred, his eyes widening with interest. “I can't possibly know what you mean unless you tell me.”

“I'm _not_.” Canon Marik snapped, narrowing his eyes. “You've made your point and we can take things from there, that's _all_.”

Canon Bakura laughed, looking amused. “Really? That's it?”

“Enough already.” Was all Canon Marik said before he grabbed his Bakura by his overshirt and pulled him in for a kiss.

Did they forget they weren't alone?

Abridged Marik wasn't even sure how to feel about witnessing them kissing. Again. He looked over at his Bakura, ready to say something, but found a surprising sight. Abridged Bakura was completely fixated on their counterparts, his expression was in revered awe and his eyes were wide. Not once did he look away or express any sort of discomfort. It was weird because anytime they were out at the shops and they spotted a couple engaging in PDA, Abridged Bakura tended to be either indifferent or would make a snarky comment. Sometimes they liked to sit around in the park, spot couples and then make up scenarios and voices for them. It was a fun pastime.

This time he was staring in fascination. Abridged Marik figured, right, it was their counterparts. It was essentially watching themselves kissing. Which, he now remembered, was probably exactly why. Oh jeez, was his counterpart really right in that Abridged Bakura wanted him? His stomach coiled. But it wasn't unpleasant.

“ _Wow_.” Abridged Bakura murmured under his breath, still staring at their counterparts and biting his lip. His cheeks were now a bright coral colour.

It was just as hot as earlier. If not somehow hotter. Clearly, they'd forgotten they weren't alone. Or if they didn't forget, they clearly didn't care. Their kisses were more fervent and heavy on tongue. Canon Marik's touches were tender, but strong as he held Canon Bakura to him by the waist. Canon Bakura's hand was tenderly stroking Canon Marik's lower back, the other raking through his hair. Their bodies were flush together and not once did they break their liplock.

Then Canon Bakura made a sound that wasn't unlike a moan. The sound went straight to Abridged Marik's groin as he shuddered, completely in awe. His counterpart had been right, there was something so alluring about the sounds he'd make. Gulping, he bit into his fist to keep himself from reacting too much.

Pulling back just a tad, Canon Marik stole a kiss, and then dipped his head to start nibling and kissing Canon Bakura's neck. This caused the thief in question to moan, unabashed, as Canon Marik's teeth sank into his skin and was clearly going to leave a hickey. So much like he'd read about in books or comics. Sure enough, the reddened mark against the pale skin of Bakura's neck looked so enticing.

Not that this wasn't hot, but Abridged Marik figured maybe it was time they left. Their canon counterparts probably wanted alone time, anyway. Whether or not they could do this in the waking world was beyond him, though. Glancing at Abridged Bakura, he reached out to touch his shoulder. He didn't react. Of course he was still transfixed on watching themselves making out. Judging by his profile, his eyes were hazed over and it seemed like his hands had no idea what they wanted to do.

Taking hold of his arm, Abridged Marik began to pull him away, “Come on Bakura, let's find a way out of here.”

“Marik-” Abridged Bakura protested, but was yanked away.

“We shouldn't spy on them.”

“They started it in front of us!”

“Come on!”

* * *

It wasn't a dream.

Marik had thought it was at first. But during breakfast, Bakura had mentioned the strange encounter with their canon counterparts and it was confirmed. Still no mention as to how or why it happened, but it did.

Now he and Bakura sat on the couch, watching something on TV. By now, Marik had zoned out and wasn't even paying attention. How could he when everything was running rampant in his head like Speedy Gonzales?

It didn't help that his canon counterpart's voice kept playing in his head.

 _Bakura wants you_. _He wants to sleep with you._

His brain hurt.

Fingers clenching along his pants, Marik dared steal a glance at his partner. Bakura was just sitting there, one leg crossed over the other, and staring at the screen. His expression, judging by his profile, was indifferent. He didn't even seem to notice Marik, which was weird since they'd both sat here at the same time earlier.

This was crazy. He wanted to close out everything since it just reminded him of this newfound knowledge. So many questions. His brain really hurt.

He wasn't gay. That much was clear. Of course he wasn't gay. It didn't matter if his canon self was gay, either. They might have been the same person but could have some differences, right?

But then again, Marik realized, he'd never been too bothered by the idea of him and Bakura being together at all. The Thiefshipping folder on his computer was probably proof of that since a lot of it was porn. He'd always explained it away as liking his sexiness being captured by these talented fangirls and it was technically true. But out of anyone he was paired with, it might as well have been his best friend and partner in crime.

All this time, he'd repressed these notions, trying to deny that he wasn't gay.

Marik sighed to himself and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. Was it really possible to be attracted to another man when you weren't gay? Some of his yaoi comics did delve into it. They often depicted the protagonist being straight as a board, but then he would meet the other incredibly sexy male lead and start to develop all these gay feelings.

Frig. That's what was happening, wasn't it? Marik was living some of the plotlines of his yaoi comics. Namely, the guy who was straight but then fell in love with another man and wanted to have sex with him. Then was completely comfortable with it afterward. Sometimes they realized they were gay. Other times, he'd still be straight, but would be gay for his boyfriend.

Trembling, he shut his eyes briefly and then reopened them. How was he supposed to think, supposed to get on with this day, supposed to concoct evil plans, supposed to watch whatever was on TV, or anything else, when all he could think of was one thing?

That he was in love.

That the attraction he'd been told Bakura had was completely mutual.

That he wanted to do _something_.

Looking to Bakura once more, he hadn't moved from his position and was merely watching the television. He was so hard to read sometimes. You might have assumed he was watching the weather. Wait, were they watching the weather? No, it didn't look like it. Either way, he had no reaction to what was being watched. Did he even notice Marik was looking at him?

Suddenly, Bakura stood up and announced he was getting some tea. Cursing himself, Marik wasn't sure what to do, but then it was as if his body were moving on its own accord. Next thing he realized, he was following Bakura into the kitchen. He was at the counter, flicking the switch of the kettle and then placing a teabag into a mug.

Marik was now behind him, eyes wandering along his skinny frame, despite being hidden by his clothes. His long white hair falling in spikes down his back, all fluffed up as usual, and felt silky soft. Frig, he wanted to touch it so badly again! But moreover, he wanted to touch Bakura. Everywhere.

Just going for it, Marik strode over and stood right behind him, not an inch away. He then circled his arms around Bakura's waist from behind and pressed him against him, nuzzling his cheek into the soft, warm hair. Bakura stiffened considerably in his hold but didn't attempt to get away.

Frig, it felt way too good, and Marik didn't want to let go. He tightened his hold ever slightly, still feeling Bakura's body go rigid.

“Marik...?” Bakura finally said, his tone raw. “Wh-What are you doing?”

Somehow he should've expected this and a part of him felt a sting of uncertainty. However, it was quickly washed away as Marik just held him. So much like in fanart, comics, books, everything he could think of when a couple held each other. It felt good. So right. He loved the way Bakura's skinny body fit so perfectly against his own. How his face was perfectly aligned with his fluffy hair at this angle.

How much he'd been dying to do this for as long as they knew each other.

If he could see Bakura's face, he had to bet it was full of surprise and pink cheeks.

“Hugging you from behind, Bakura.” Marik said softly, his chin on Bakura's shoulder.

A choked sound came from Bakura as his body relaxed, but still remained guarded. “M-Marik...”

Holding him closer, if that were possible, Marik nuzzled into his hair and neck. He smelled so good. Like the body wash, shampoo and conditioner Bakura tended to use.

“Marik...!” Bakura said, his tone unreadable, but clearly not disgusted. “Why?”

“You look like you could use some hugs, Bakura. You won't admit it, but you do want hugs.” Marik murmured, smiling. He was beginning to enjoy making the poor spirit confused, but clearly liking it.

He felt Bakura's hands touch his arms, as if hesitating, and then his body leaned back into his own.

“Marik... you do realize... straight men don't hug their male... _friends_ like this, don't you?” Bakura said, his voice strained, almost breathless.

Chuckling, Marik decided to sweeten the deal a bit. He brought a hand to Bakura's face, caressing his jawline, then gently turning his head toward him.

Sure enough, from little he could see, Bakura was blushing and his eyes were hazed over with wanton. His lips were parted slightly and Marik ran a finger over them suggestively.

“You're right, they don't.” Marik murmured as he continued exploring his partner's face gently.

Twisting around, Bakura was facing him now, cheeks red and eyes filled with a myriad of emotions. It was an incredible sight and made Marik's breath hitch. Why they hadn't done this earlier, he figured had to be due to someone being an idiot. A really big idiot.

“Marik... I'm serious. What you're doing right now is _very gay_. As the fangirls would say, there's no heterosexual explanation for it.” Bakura hissed, sounding irritated, but the look on his face was betraying his tone. “You're holding me and touching my face very intimately.”

Laughing a little, Marik couldn't help feeling thrilled that Bakura was making this so easy and so fun. He touched his partner's face, drinking in his dashing good looks and striking brown eyes contrasting to his pale skin and white hair.

“Of course I am! I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't want you.” Marik grinned, poking his tongue between his teeth. “Come on, Bakura. I know you want this too.” He leaned closer, their noses touching. “I know you want _me_.”

Breath hitching, Bakura gaped at him, his fingers clutching at the counter top behind him. He trembled slightly, expression one of sheer surprise.

“You... You knew? But, how?”

“My equally sexy but who also needs to learn to have fun canon self put things into perspective for me.”

Bakura blinked, his mouth dropping open, but then seeming to realize what he was implying. Turning redder, he looked away, but he was smiling widely. The look of sheer joy on his face made Marik's heart flutter.

“Although you could've said something.” Marik went on, planting a kiss to Bakura's cheek, “You gave a lot of hints but then backed out.”

“Marik, I had thought you weren't interested!” Bakura hissed, his fingers now clutching at Marik's shoulders. “You kept denying the very obvious fact that you were gay and it seemed anything I said flew right over your bloody head. Anytime you seemed to imply differently, it turned out I misread you. How in the bloody hell was I _supposed_ to assume otherwise?”

Everything had made sense now that he'd known Bakura's true feelings, but it was still kind of hilarious. He had to wonder, who was the bigger idiot?

“Come on Bakura, all you had to do was say, 'Hey Marik, I like you' or something.”

“You can't be bloody serious. You would have said, 'Oh good, I like me too!' or something.”

“True, I would have since I do like me!”

“Exactly my point.” Bakura rolled his eyes.

Shrugging, Marik just pulled him closer. “You still could've said something!”

A strange look overcame Bakura's features as he again looked away. He leaned into Marik a bit, now bringing his arms around his shoulders. The feeling felt wonderful and Marik nuzzled their cheeks together.

“Marik, you know it's difficult for me to say those things.” He admitted.

Softening, Marik nodded. “True, you aren't the sentimental type.”

There was a pause, then Bakura looked at him, his expression softened and a small smile pulling at his lips. Did he have _any_ idea what he was doing to Marik right now? Seeing any kind of content, genuine smile that wasn't a front to act like his host never failed to make him melt.

“So then, when you kissed me that one time...” Bakura said, leaning a bit closer. “You really liked it.”

“Duh!” Marik confirmed with a chuckle. He did like it. So much so, he'd wanted to do it again ever since. “You're a good kisser.”

“It wasn't my first.” Bakura said with a wink. “I just never kissed someone like I did you.”

“It was mine.” Marik confessed. Although he wasn't sure what Bakura meant by what he'd said, it sounded nice, so he took it.

Surprisingly, a teasing retort wasn't made. Bakura just smiled at him, his eyes gleaming. Melting all the more, Marik closed the distance between them and kissed him. The meeting of their lips brought back the old sensations of how it had felt the first time, increasing tenfold. Bakura hummed and kissed him back with more fervour than before. It made sense, he was probably holding back at the time.

He felt Bakura's hand gently carding through his hair while the other held to his shoulder tightly. Marik sighed through his nose and pressed closer, practically backing the thief up against the counter behind him. A whistling sound came, nearly startling him, but Bakura freed one hand and noisily fumbled. A clicking sound was heard and the whistling stopped. It took Marik a bit to process the fact that it had been the kettle and Bakura had turned it off. He was about to pull back, but Bakura held him in place as his hand came back to his hair.

Their tongues met occasionally, which did feel a little weird and took getting used to, but it wasn't unpleasant at all. In fact, Marik had felt he'd enjoy french kissing, and that turned out to be very true. Bakura's leg stroked against his for a moment or two, then lowered itself back down. He could feel something hard pressing up against him, to which Marik wondered if it was either Bakura's knife always kept his pocket or his crotch. Then again, their crotches were at perfect eye level because of Bakura being slightly shorter than he was. It could've been either one.

He savoured Bakura's eager, feverish kissing, and responded in kind. Marik ran his fingers through Bakura's hair, while his other rested at the back of his neck, occasionally caressing the skin. A sound not unlike a moan came from Bakura and of course it shot straight down to his groin.

It was everything he could've wanted in sharing a passionate moment with someone. Most especially with his partner.

They kissed for many, many minutes before Marik pulled back very reluctantly, and their eyes opened. Bakura gazed at him with flushed cheeks and his eyes hazed over with what Marik couldn't describe but had a feeling it was some kind of hunger.

Bakura then spoke, his lips curling into a knowing smirk. “You must have been inspired by our canon counterparts, weren't you?”

Cheeks warming more than they already were, Marik gave a cheeky grin. “It was like fanart in real life, Bakura.”

“Yes... It was, wasn't it?” Bakura's eyes gleamed as he licked his lips. “So you enjoyed it after all.”

“So did you!” Marik pouted slightly. “You didn't take your eyes off them once!”

“Marik, I was bearing witness to you and I making out as though it were in high definition.” Bakura replied in that know-it-all/duh tone of his. “Of _course_ I couldn't tear my eyes away.”

“It was hot, really hot, and yet kind of weird.” Marik admitted, running his fingers gently along Bakura's sides, earning soft hums in response.

“I loved it.” Bakura murmured, smiling cheekily. He brought his hands up Marik's back, gently avoiding where his scars would be through his crop top and rested at his shoulder blades. “So, you finally admit that you're gay.”

“Ohhhh, that.” Marik realized and kept up his ministrations. He did love the way Bakura's expression would respond to the touches and the occasional sound that he'd emit. “Bakura, I'm not gay.”

The pleasured look was gone in an instant and replaced with a mild scowl. “You can't be serious. We _just_ made out very passionately and you said that you wanted this, too! Of all the times to deny your blatant sexuality, this is _not_ the time. All of what we just did was gay!”

“Silence! Let me finish,” Marik said, poking his partner's nose. He giggled, then booped him again. And again. He did love how his nose scrunched up in response. “Heh heh, boop. Boop! This is fun, no wonder people are always doing it! Boop!”

“Marik.” Bakura warned as he moved the hand away from his nose. “You had something to say.”

“Oh, right!” Marik laughed and embraced him once more, relaxing. “Like I said, I'm not gay. But I'm gay for you.”

Bakura blinked once, studied him, and bit his lip. His nose scrunched up again and Marik chuckled, kissing the scrunchy nose.

“It's true Bakura, I realized that I'm only gay for you!” Marik went on, smiling. “Apparently my comics call it having an exception or something! So I'm fine being gay where you're concerned.”

Giving a light smile, Bakura dug his fingers into Marik's shoulders as he seemed to be regaining his composure. He looked like he wanted to say something, but closed his mouth.

“Besides,” Marik figured to continue, now not even sure where or how he could stop. It was feeling good to let it out! He would've screamed and shouted, but maybe he'd do that later. Outside, with nothing but the sand to hear! “it explains why I like being around you so much, Bakura! You might be a jerk who gets all insensitive and doesn't care and says things that are rude but you're all that and more!”

“Charming.” Bakura deadpanned, but he was trying not to smile.

Marik chuckled, bringing a hand to Bakura's face. “You always have this control over me, and yet I never feel like you're controlling me at all, you know?”

“I suppose that's an interesting way of putting it.” Bakura admitted. He leaned into Marik's hand and closed his eyes. A smile etched at his lips as he did so.

It was pretty astounding to see Bakura in a much happier kind of mood and was always something Marik had wanted for him. This was why he often insisted on them doing fun stuff together. It was why he fantasized about them going on vacations, going to Disneyland or Disney World, or even a fun water park. Experiencing all of this fun things would be awesome and make for great YouTube content! Even more so, he wanted to make Bakura happy, to have fun with him and see a big smile on his face.

The spirit had been deprived of happiness for so long. Hellbent on vengeance that, while Marik agreed with completely and wanted to, consumed him so much that he didn't know what happiness was.

Marik was determined to change that.

“So now we're not just partners in crime anymore!” Marik said, watching as Bakura opened his eyes.

“No, I don't suppose we are.” Bakura purred, his eyes half-amast now. “Of course, you realize things may change between us a little.”

Rolling his eyes, Marik snorted. “Duh! I know what couples do together, Bakura. I've tons of books and yaoi comics.”

“True, but you know, real life is a little more nuanced than that.” Bakura said with a mild shrug. “You should just do what you feel is right.”

While Marik was planning to do just that, he had to admit, Bakura's advice made sense. Maybe this wasn't the grand romantic moment, if you wanted to call it that, either of them had in mind when this moment happened. But maybe it didn't matter. After all, this could've happened in a shitty motel in the middle of Egypt rather than here in their home. Even then it could've worked.

“Sounds good to me!” Marik finally said and gave him a quick, but sweet kiss.

Bakura nodded with a smile. Then he glanced downward as an odd, but pensive look crossed his features.

It took Marik a few moments to realize Bakura was looking at the Millennium Ring, which was pressed between them. This was also evident by one of his hands slipping in and touching it briefly.

“Um, Bakura? Are you having one of those moments where you and your host are having a conversation?” Marik asked.

Looking back up, Bakura shrugged. “Don't worry about it.”

“Okay!” Marik leaned in and stole a kiss, earning a stupefied and blushy face from his partner. Adorable. “I should've known sooner, actually.”

“Indeed you should have.” Bakura agreed as he stroked Marik's lower back gently.

The touch made Marik lean into him more, humming pleasurably from the sensation. He never let anyone touch his back, but Bakura was more than allowed to. “What about you, how long?”

Bakura looked bashful as his eyes darted to one side, clearly avoiding him. He bit his lip, closed his eyes, and relaxed a bit. “Quite a while, let's just put it that way.”

“Okay then!” Marik accepted this answer, knowing that going into further detail probably wouldn't have been easy for Bakura to do. “I thought you were hot when I first met you. Then there was that kiss and then the other me said 'Oh by the way Bakura wants you' and all that!”

Shaking his head, Bakura then lay his head on Marik's shoulder. “Buggering fool told you everything, I should've known.”

“He said you stared at him like you were a hungry animal, Bakura. I thought he meant you were a cannibal or something, that would've been weird! ...You're not a cannibal, are you?”

“No, Marik. I'm not. Never have been. I may kill and maim people in various ways, but I can assure you that I've never had the desire to consume them.” Bakura muttered. “And just because my favourite film is _Cannibal Holocaust_ doesn't mean I want to share in the activity. I just enjoy it because of all the blood and gore. The same goes for _Sweeney Todd_.”

“Bakura, you like that movie because of how Sweeney Todd kills people with a razor to the throat and the fact he was out for revenge, so you identified with him because of it. The whole human meat pie thing was kinda secondary.” Marik pointed out without even thinking.

This made Bakura laugh as he leaned in and kissed his neck. “You remembered.”

“I remember a lot of things.”

“Could've fooled me.”

“Hey!”

Chuckling, Bakura lifted his head and gazed at him with a cheeky smile. “Marik, I'm teasing you. You remembered the _Zorc and Pals_ theme song and there was that one time you bought me the knife I was eyeing in the window of that shop once.”

“See? I do remember things!” Marik puffed his chest out, but it only succeeded in bumping Bakura's and making him snicker. “And you remembered that I always wanted a Buzz Lightyear action figure!”

“Of course.” Bakura purred, the smile returning.

The thief leaned in and their lips met, starting off slow and tender before escalating. Much like earlier, their kissing became feverish and full of hunger. The sound of a zipper was heard and Marik soon realized that Bakura was unzipping his lavender hoodie. Within seconds of doing so, Bakura pulled back and looked down at his exposed skin with hungry glee. He leaned down pressed kisses to his chest, to which Marik squirmed pleasurably and clutched his partner tightly.

“Bakura...” Marik murmured, unable to help himself.

Kissing back up his neck, Bakura found his lips again and kissed him deeply. Their tongues worked feverishly against each other, both moaning syllables of nothing in their mouths. Marik upped the ante as he rolled his hips into Bakura's, which made the thief moan louder. He felt Bakura's hands then slide down and grasp his ass, squeezing tightly. Sure enough, the touch went straight to his groin and Marik moaned appreciatively.

After a bit, Bakura pulled back, gazing at him with lust. He wiggled out of Marik's hold and away from the counter, sauntering to the kitchen doorway. In doing so, Bakura shot him a coy, come-hither look and winked at him before he disappeared around the corner.

Hot, bothered, and wanting that sexy thief more than ever, Marik hurried after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now also, some of the things Canon Marik says, don't worry! This is just before the darkness is driven from his heart. It was all inspired by a headcanon I'd read a while back, hence why they have sex on the blimp in the chapter before! But really, we all know eventually, he'll realize everything came together because he fell in love.


End file.
